General

How to get into Harvard in 5 steps

I'm here to share my secrets to success with all of you super intelligent Basilers!

Step 1. Schedule an interview. When you get the time, make sure to plan to be there at least 1 hour [b][i]late.[/i][/b]

Step 2. Meet the interviewer, tell him you got caught up with your mid-morning community service (helping at the soup kitchen). Shake his hand with a very firm grip (the intensity is that of when you're pleasing yourself)

Step 3. Answer his questions with questions, making him question himself, making you seem 10% more intelligent.

Step 4. When he asks about your extracurricular activities, say "yes.", but nothing else. Don't tell him what they are, leave him guessing. They love that.

Step 5. Express your dominance by punching him in the face, telling him it's your life, and you can be successful without his sad excuse for a school.

You'll be called back within the hour.
Good luck! I know you can do it!