The Benefits of Global Warming
I am a supporter of global warming. There are so many benefits, so why do simple-minded and overly compassionate humans even bother slowing it? Screw the polar bears and all of the other animals if the ice caps melt. It's survival for the fittest, and they should be able to adapt to the heat if they were good for our world. Otherwise, we can use all those fat Antarctic and Artic creatures to feed us humans, obviously the most superior of all organisms.
Along with animal sacrifices, many humans will be lost. That's okay with me! If the humans in the coastal areas can't swim like Michael Phelps, they aren't the ones that are adapted. With that, every human would have better genes due to the people unable to adapt dying. Tourism would be wonderful in the more flooded world, for every beach has its own Lost City of Atlantis. Though there are chemicals that may have escaped into the waters and jellyfish population would have probably gone through the roof, those who do survive the swims would pass on immunities to the chemicals and poisons creating more perfect and adept human beings.
Older human knowledge and records would be destroyed sinking in the deep. Wonderful! Dwelling in the past can only restrain us from progressing further! Humans today look back too much on old morals. For an example, the disapproval of human testing has caused the medical area to not progress as quickly as it would if we chose the insignificant beings of our kind to be tested like a la rat. Think about how far the species would develop in all areas if we simply went forward and never turned back!
The summers would be hotter, perfect weather for hot and tan girls everywhere to wear as little clothing as possible to just cover their private areas. Good-looking tan men would walk around shirtless for all to admire.
We should push global warming faster. Fire up those engines and burn those fuels. The destination is not far. Let's break down that barrier those idiots put up against global warming and take our steps into a utopia!
15 Comments • Newest first
[quote=FightTheWar] According to a statement Al Gore made in 2006, we humans only have ten years left (from 2006) to save the planet from global warming, otherwise it would result in our deaths...
http://motls.blogspot.com/2004/10/al-gores-doomsday-countdown.html We don't have long... Barely 3 years...[/quote]
Lol.. that's almost as funny as the OP's satire.
Typical right-wing misinterpretation of what Gore said.
[quote=Braviary]@azzamage, @FriedSnake, @enver90:
Guys, why are you thinking I'm serious. This was supposed to be satire.[/quote]
Satire has some wit on the content.
This has no wit, it is merely a fool joking about a random topic.
think about the penguins
[quote=RisingRain]http://skepticalscience.com/[/quote]
That's not very skeptical, it's just the same old tiresome 'ZOMG YOU SHOULD FEEL GUILTY! YOU DRIVE A CAR AND LIVE COMFORTABLY YOU CONTRIBUTE TO THE PROBLEM!' crap. If these green energy people really want their technology to replace petroleum-based products, they'll have to find a way to make it profitable; and the only way they can do that is find a way to not only make the technology more practical, but it must also be more affordable compared to the alternative. They will find a way to do so eventually, but the faster they do the faster oil consumption will decrease.
summer
I thoughts global warming was fake
[quote=FightTheWar]The climate is always changing. It's been changing since the Hadean Era and will continue to change. Frankly I find the notion that the Earth's climate has been static for over four billion years and only in the past hundred or so years, with the invention of the internal combustion engine, has the climate started to shift. According to a statement Al Gore made in 2006, we humans only have ten years left (from 2006) to save the planet from global warming, otherwise it would result in our deaths...
http://motls.blogspot.com/2004/10/al-gores-doomsday-countdown.html We don't have long... Barely 3 years...[/quote]
http://skepticalscience.com/
The climate is always changing. It's been changing since the Hadean Era and will continue to change. Frankly I find the notion that the Earth's climate has been static for over four billion years and only in the past hundred or so years, with the invention of the internal combustion engine, has the climate started to shift, to be inaccurate and insulting to the intelligence of anyone who understands geological history. According to a statement Al Gore made in 2006, we humans only have ten years left (from 2006) to save the planet from global warming, otherwise it would result in our deaths...
http://motls.blogspot.com/2004/10/al-gores-doomsday-countdown.html We don't have long... Barely 3 years...
It was too obvious. "Arctic creatures are superior creatures to feed the human race." That part gave it away.
It didn't sound plausible at all.
[quote=Braviary]@azzamage, @FriedSnake, @enver90:
Guys, why are you thinking I'm serious. This was supposed to be satire.[/quote]
I know that haha
I was just saying
We get hot enough Summers here in Australia anyway
@stoppostingnow:
Satire is like a rectangle and trolling is like a square. Not all satire is trolling, but all trolling is satire.
@Nicolas1284:
I know. I'm practicing satire on the Internet before I return to school. I've never been strong at it.
@azzamage, @FriedSnake, @enver90:
Guys, why are you thinking I'm serious. This was supposed to be satire.
u dun care about human sacrifices o.o, what if ur 1 , and who wants penguins and polar bears to die, global warming will cause the caps to melt creating much less land to live on... the human race would die out fast...
Northern Canada,Alaska and Siberia would be the new China and India
Hotter summers I could live with
But polar bears die D: