What do you consider emotional and/or physical cheating?
Just curious.
To me, physical cheating is when a guy starts holding a girl intimately. Instead of, for example, a perfectly acceptable gentle hug for a distressed female friend, he is lightly caressing her hair while holding her in his arms. If it would be really awkward for him to do it while I was standing next to them, it's likely entering cheating territory.
Emotional cheating to me is when a guy is [b]romantically[/b] interested in a girl. I know some guys once in a while will see/know some hot girl and probably would want to hook up with her if they weren't committed. It's attraction, but very superficial attraction. I've dated a guy who knew a REALLY smoking hot girl who I knew he wouldn't mind sleeping with, but she was kind of a crap person and had less than perfect morals and I knew my then-boyfriend wouldn't be interested in seriously dating her, so I had no problem with him being friends with her.
I've also had an ex who (when he was at the time dating me) had feelings for another girl. He thought she was really pretty, came from a good family, had good morals, and took great care of him when he stayed with her. He wanted to spend lots of alone time with her and looked up "romantic places for dates" when he would make plans with her. He also tried to hide all this from me. Now that, I definitely consider emotional cheating.
What's your view?
P.S. For those of you who might say things like "Oh, So-And-So's view on cheating is so insecure. Why would you be so controlling of your significant other's interactions with other people?" we should remember that relationships are whatever we want them to be, as long as we find a partner who shares similar beliefs. In some cultures it's extremely inappropriate to hug members of the opposite gender while in others it's normal to be naked in front of the opposite gender. If you want to be very restrictive of your partner's interactions and they think it's appropriate and expect the same of you, no one's wronging anyone. Same in the case of an open relationship where both partners are totally okay with each other being physically intimate with strangers.
6 Comments • Newest first
i don't think the boundary for emotional cheating varies from person to person (it can differ in open/polyamorous relationships i guess). you pretty much know when it happens.
as for physical cheating, i would probably say groping/holding and beyond. i mostly consider sex acts/actual sex cheating, but the idea of my boyfriend kissing or holding/groping somebody else is uncomfortable and would make me really worry for our relationship (unless we'd spelled it out as open). even then i wouldn't want to be present.
@zoneflare2: Anyone can talk about religion.
well, if your partner likes someone else, your relationship is probably in or close to the dumps anyway
let me think about this a second~
Looking at it form the outside cheating starts when someone approaches you in an inappropriate way (e.g. a long hug, kiss on lips, touching privates, ..) or rather in a way that's "only" meant for couples [b]AND[/b] you let it happen. If you're fine with it and agree with what's happening and open your personal space to a point that usually only your/a partner can reach, when you let someone step in a position on the same/similar level of your partner.
Now if I see it from my personal, emotional view - I don't THINK I'm cheating when I e.g. hug a male coworker (I was hugged by one coworker so far and it happened twice. One time to say bye when I went to America and the other when I returned after a few months) but I feel bad that i let a guy near enough to hug me lol.
I also like grabbing boobs of my fem friends (case given they're fine with it) and they grab back but I don't consider it cheating (it's nowhere near sexual after all) and my partner actually encourages it, too. I wouldn't say cheating is solely for diff gendered people, though. If someone were to make out with the same gender for (sexual) enjoyment then that'd be cheating too.
As for emotional cheating - I think that when you fall for someone and want that person more than your partner then that's cheating. People might mistake a crush or the similar for love or affection.. Emotional "cheating" becomes cheating the moment you distance your emotions AND your body from your partner and when that other person matters more for the moment than your partner.
To me, if the feelings for that other person are stronger than for your partner then it ain't cheating anymore cause emotionally the relationship has come to an end then.
@Tuesdaymorning
Agreed with everything you just said--EVERYTHING.
@BladeSoul69: Having lust for a hot girl isn't just cheating on a partner, it's cheating on Jesus. O_O