It is so hard making friends who are girls
I feel like girls want to so much. They want a guy who is funny, confident, good looking, smart, etc.
I've been told that i'm very good looking and smart but I think my personality is the problem. I'm a bit shy/introverted but I believe I have confidence in myself. Everyone I know have told me that i'm good looking so I'm able to make eye contact with girls. I think the best way to become friends with girls is by being funny but it's so hard.. Am I the only one who feels this way? Is there any good way to make friends with girls or even becoming their boyfriend?
October 21, 2012
50 Comments • Newest first
@AznYoungGun24: High five'd haha
[quote=brewskie425]I actually have problems making friends with guys (i'm a guy). I find it easy considering most girls like having a guy friend that doesn't mind being dragged shopping and they can talk to about their problems (and actually care to listen). At the same time I'm perverted with them and flirty even though they know most of the time I'm not serious. I think to make them see you as a friend, just be a "nice" guy. To get them to see you as more than a friend actually show interest in them and play around. Don't go crazy though haha.
Now any help for making guy friends? Haha XD[/quote]
Alright high five brother~
I actually have problems making friends with guys (i'm a guy). I find it easy considering most girls like having a guy friend that doesn't mind being dragged shopping and they can talk to about their problems (and actually care to listen). At the same time I'm perverted with them and flirty even though they know most of the time I'm not serious. I think to make them see you as a friend, just be a "nice" guy. To get them to see you as more than a friend actually show interest in them and play around. Don't go crazy though haha.
Now any help for making guy friends? Haha XD
I have some friends that are girls, but it's awkward at times.
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
I don't believe in "friend-zoned". That is just an excuse for a guy to not admit that they just can't tap it.[/quote]
Nah man, there's other extenuating situations. For example, last week I had an hour long conversation with a girl that tried to hook-up with me at a bad time and then I tried to hook-up with her when she was over me. Nowadays we both realize we're way too crazy for anything to happen. Would I still hook-up with her? Sure, if the opportunity presented itself but that doesn't mean I would ever go out of my way to bang her because she has way too much baggage and I don't see the point in going through all of the hoops just for it.
I'm sure she feels the same way about me. All in all, we just talk to each other because at the end of the day we're still friends. We both friend-zoned each other and it's pretty much the state of affairs. Not every interaction can be reduced to "he just wants sex" or "she just wants to hook-up."
@outfoxed: Meh, I never had that problem. They all remember me because of my nerdy voice. But yea I know what you mean.
Also, its better to be in your comfort zone. So act how you act around your friends, they seem to enjoy it just be friends. That what I do.
I'm a female and only want guys to be themselves and happy with it. A good friend should take you for what you are and respect you for it. Relax, be yourself! And to many girls: you don't always have to be in control. Cut yourself and your friends some slack.
[quote=BladeSoul69]Hopefully it doesn't happen again. Good luck[/quote]
Yeah and thanks. Good luck to you, too.
[quote=BladeSoul69]So he was trying to "second-best" you? Its good you are over it.[/quote]
Didn't take long for me to get over him though..since another guy played with my feelings..(not my friend).
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
I can't imagine a girl getting rejected. Probably cause of my record.[/quote]
Well the guy liked someone else..I guess I could say he kind of played with my feelings (told me that he wanted to make out and hugged me a lot) but I don't blame him..he broke up with GF (a month before) when he rejected me..he wanted love I guess but now I'm over him.
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
Maybe tap it was the wrong choice of words.[/quote]
Well girls can get friend zoned too but it's rarer. I've been friend zoned once actually but I'm not ugly because guys have confessed to me that they liked me before. Either way they either want a relationship with the girl or to have smex.
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
I don't believe in "friend-zoned". That is just an excuse for a guy to not admit that they just can't tap it.[/quote]
I suppose so..I'm sure not all guys want smex or just smex. It makes sense though.
[quote=BladeSoul69]Friend-zoned is a self-imposed limit, not a rejection.
There are actually five kinds of Rejections
[b]Active Rejections[/b]
Easy Way Out- She lets you down Easy
Shot Down- She lets you down hard
[b]Passive Rejections[/b]
Implied- She says something that lets you know but she doesn't know this.
Boyfriend- The worst one. She is already taken
Out of your League- Self-explanatory[/quote]
Well thanks for correcting me I guess.. I have friend zoned guys because they lacked the traits I'm looking for. Anyway like I said every girl is different.
It's SO easy for me.
Why do only the awkward guys post in these threads
[quote=outfoxed]idk i personally feel guys who start talking about school stay as school friends. you know the people you ask for notes from when you miss class or you see them on monday and you never think much about. talking about school is just safe and you don't separate yourself from anyone else. same thing with asking about what a girl intends to do with her classes. like it's like asking someone how old they are.... they've gotten the question a million times before and it's sort of like .... whatever....
i mean i guess you could talk about classes. it's not a bad way to start a conversation as long as your confident but it's really boring... i feel like guys who can make an interesting observation or joke from the situation are gonna be super interesting because they can always put an interesting spin on something boring[/quote]
Depends on teh girl, really. In all honesty though, I don't think it really matters much. I think your attitude and confidence are what differentiates you and why talking about school fails miserably for awkward bros with poor body language but works alright for people like me.
@punx: Rude boys generally treat a girl like a pile of @!$%
[quote=WontPostMuch]Yeah, it's pretty funny to see dudes thinking they can't be nice to land a girl when it couldn't be any more different. Being nice is 100% acceptable. Being a wuss and not making a move is not.[/quote]
Yeah. It all depends if the girl is attracted to you when you help and listen to her problems. Friend zone is basically just rejection.
[quote=WontPostMuch]It's super easy. You say in a nice, confident tone that is only [i]slightly[/i] flirty to let the girl know that you're interested without scaring her off from the get go something like "how are you feeling about the coming midterm?" or "did you do the homework yet?"
Ignore their response and then just go "Me, I think I need to spend more time studying. I spent all of last weekend _____. What'd you end up doing?" Or something like that. Or even talking to a girl about her classes and what she intends to do with them allows for a lot of room for charm. Of course, I'm in college so classes are more pertinent to a person's goals and makes it 100x more effective. The trick is to not linger on the subject of school and more on other things.[/quote]
idk i personally feel guys who start talking about school stay as school friends. you know the people you ask for notes from when you miss class or you see them on monday and you never think much about. talking about school is just safe and you don't separate yourself from anyone else. same thing with asking about what a girl intends to do with her classes. like it's like asking someone how old they are.... they've gotten the question a million times before and it's sort of like .... whatever....
i mean i guess you could talk about classes. it's not a bad way to start a conversation as long as your confident but it's really boring... i feel like guys who can make an interesting observation or joke from the situation are gonna be super interesting because they can always put an interesting spin on something boring
[quote=Laker1294]@crazygama every girl is different. I wouldn't friend zone a guy if he listens and helps me with my problems.[/quote]
Yeah, it's pretty funny to see dudes thinking they can't be nice to land a girl when it couldn't be any more different. Being nice is 100% acceptable. Being a wuss and not making a move is not.
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
What if there is no group work? Is there anyway to make the introductions less awkward?[/quote]
Introducing yourself isn't awkward bro. You can definitely just go up to a girl, introduce yourself and start a conversation from there. 90% of girls won't question it via girls being very passive but if they do, you have a couple of options depending on context:
"I thought you looked interesting and worth talking to."
"I was bored and I like talking to new people."
If you're in school:
"I always see you around. May as well introduce myself."
"I like to get to know my classmates."
PS:
Some girls may be weirded out at first but don't worry about it (srs). So long as you don't do or say anything creepy, they will realize you're a chill dude and begin to relax and open up.
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
What if there is no group work? Is there anyway to make the introductions less awkward?[/quote]
Well you could talk about homework/classwork then say by the way my name is...or I'm (insert name).
[quote=outfoxed]when you say talking about school i imagine talking about homework and grades. can't really be charming about that since the conversation is just based on something really boring. talking about school is what i imagine the safe boring guys talk about to get to know a girl....
like even if you dont know a girl you can start a conversation based on the surroundings. like oh if this prof says true story one more time i think im gonna kill myself.[/quote]
It's super easy. You say in a nice, confident tone that is only [i]slightly[/i] flirty to let the girl know that you're interested without scaring her off from the get go something like "how are you feeling about the coming midterm?" or "did you do the homework yet?"
Ignore their response and then just go "Me, I think I need to spend more time studying. I spent all of last weekend _____. What'd you end up doing?" Or something like that. Or even talking to a girl about her classes and what she intends to do with them allows for a lot of room for charm. Of course, I'm in college so classes are more pertinent to a person's goals and makes it 100x more effective. The trick is to not linger on the subject of school and more on other things.
[quote=outfoxed]when you say talking about school i imagine talking about homework and grades. can't really be charming about that since the conversation is just based on something really boring. talking about school is what i imagine the safe boring guys talk about to get to know a girl....
like even if you dont know a girl you can start a conversation based on the surroundings. like oh if this prof says true story one more time i think im gonna kill myself.[/quote]
Oh if this prof says true story one more time i think i'm gonna kill myself.
Hi, can I get your number?
[quote=BladeSoul69]@Laker1294:
So I just walk up and say "hey, my name is"[/quote]
You could do that but it's betterif you introduce yourself if you're doing group work (or in class or have mutual friends with them) or something like that (not really awkward). I've had a guy walk up to me in real life and introduce himself.. After that day I never saw him again and it was pretty awkward.
[quote=WontPostMuch]If you're charming about it, it's a sure-fire way to get into better conversations. Obviously if you stick to the subject of school that will be the case but if you just use it as a springboard for more conversation, I see no problem with it. It's always had A+ results for me.[/quote]
when you say talking about school i imagine talking about homework and grades. can't really be charming about that since the conversation is just based on something really boring. talking about school is what i imagine the safe boring guys talk about to get to know a girl....
like even if you dont know a girl you can start a conversation based on the surroundings. like oh if this prof says true story one more time i think im gonna kill myself.
[quote=FunMotion]What's wrong about them thinking you're a nice guy. Are you one of those 8th graders that acts tough and mean because you think girls like those kind of guys? Girls like guys who are nice and caring, not tough and mean and total wank offs[/quote]
I don't know why I'm so attracted to rude boys o.o
Nice guys need to have a sense of humor..
@crazygama every girl is different. I wouldn't friend zone a guy if he listens and helps me with my problems.
[quote=outfoxed]@icoleslawderp: i guess.... but it's such a safe boring conversation starter. it's like how am i even going to remember you, you know?[/quote]
If you're charming about it, it's a sure-fire way to get into better conversations. Obviously if you stick to the subject of school that will be the case but if you just use it as a springboard for more conversation, I see no problem with it. It's always had A+ results for me.
@icoleslawderp: i guess.... but it's such a safe boring conversation starter. it's like how am i even going to remember you, you know?
[quote=BladeSoul69]What if you be nice to the female but you make sarcastic jokes and be a little douchbagish?[/quote]
Then you're doing A+ game for parties and girls with low self-esteem. You have to be funny with your jokes and "apologize" if you cross the line but in a way that makes it obvious you never really cared much to begin with.
It's much easier imo to game a nice girl with healthy self-esteem by just talking to her about school in an off-handed kind of way. "How are you feeling about the upcoming exam?" There, no creepiness and you have a great starting point for a conversation.
[quote=BladeSoul69]What if you be nice to the female but you make sarcastic jokes and be a little douchbagish?[/quote]
See.. that is the problem. It's hard to make sarcastic jokes and being a jerk on top of worrying out other things also. Girls want too much from a guy. I still don't understand how a girl would want a funny, ugly guy over a good looking, not funny guy. For us guys, it is so simple. If a really pretty girl wanted to go out with us, most guys would say yes. You see what i mean?
[quote=BladeSoul69]@iSmellKC:
Its a little intimidating, especially with my record.
@lettucing:
Pretty sure that is illegal
@Laker1294:
Really, I hate it when someone asks about school. Even if I know what to talk about. How do I approach without looking creepy?[/quote]
School (homework, class work..,etc).. I honestly don't know. You could start talking about yourself and ask them questions. I usually meet people in group work, through mutual friends, people introduce themselves.. My conversations with them flow smoothly or awkwardly.. Really depends if they expect me to do all/most of the talking.
Edit: introduce yourself if you haven't done so.
[quote=swagonomics]If i'm too nice then they'll think of me as a nice guy. You guys see what I mean..? They want too much[/quote]
What's wrong about them thinking you're a nice guy. Are you one of those 8th graders that acts tough and mean because you think girls like those kind of guys? Girls like guys who are nice and caring, not tough and mean and total wank offs
I know what you mean man. Girls are notorious for having next to guy friends, only a select few guys are the "chosen" ones when it comes to befriending girls. That's why you see girls are so annoyed when just any guy dares to talk to them. You have to be insanely good at being social and entertaining people to have a conversation with a girl, let alone befriend her.
I'm afraid it all comes down to evolutionary psychology. Girls only want to mate with the Alpha males and that is only 1% of the population
Be less shy, but i'm one to talk.
At least i'm working on it.
[quote=outfoxed]ugh talking about school is so boring![/quote]
Its so also boring, when the girl talks about her friends only or always about herself. School isn't that bad of a conversation starter if you're meeting a person for the first time.
From my expericence, if you're looking for being friendzoned. When you see a girl who's having an off day,offer to listen to her problems. Girls love taling about their problems. And really listen. Then respond. Soon you can go off on tangents. And bam. Instant friendship.
Asking girls out is different.
These guys can explain it better than I can. Watch all their videos. http://www.youtube.com/simplepickup
If i'm too nice then they'll think of me as a nice guy. You guys see what I mean..? They want too much
mhhh you dont wanna make friends, you wanna monkey dance!
[quote=outfoxed]ugh talking about school is so boring![/quote]
Well it works for me...and I'm a girl though.. It's the easiest topic to talk about in my opinion.
@BladeSoul69 I'm an introverted girl though and it has helped me communicate with people who I don't know very well..
harass them 24/7
idk um just be friendly and nice everyone likes making new friends! so dont be intimadated
@BladeSoul69
What do you mean easier said than done? You mean not being shy?
[quote=Laker1294]Talk about school first until you're comfortable, you can start talking about other topics. You could let the girl do most of the talking but it really depends on the girl.[/quote]
ugh talking about school is so boring!
Just compliment her if she does something different with her hair or you notice a new sweatshirt or something like that. That usually can start a conversation and you'll seem nice
in my experience becoming friends with girls is quite easy. it sounds like you just want a girlfriend and an agenda like that is more likely to scare them off.
Woman are the 8th wonder of the world
Talk about school first until you're comfortable, you can start talking about other topics. You could let the girl do most of the talking but it really depends on the girl.
Girls aren't meant to be friends with