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Dating a Filipina?

So, things have been going remarkably well with the girl I'm currently dating
Well, everything except for one small detail..

Technically, we've been hooking up for about a month and going on dates and whatnot.. but we never became official. We talked about it (we were friends for about a year before we started hooking up), but there were too many concerns to jump into a relationship right away and we ultimately decided to approach the "title" aspect of the relationship with more caution. But the other night she asked me if I would ask her parents for permission to be her boyfriend..

Of course, I agreed to do this. But I'm kind of nervous; I'm slightly familiar with Filipino culture, having studied abroad there, but I myself am Colombian and have never had to do something like this

Has anyone ever had to do something like this, and if so... how did it go & what did you do?

I still have well over three months until I meet her parents, so I've got time to prepare and continue to work on our currently undercover relationship..

I'm extremely happy nonetheless because she's super adorable & pretty much all I could ever ask for

September 13, 2012

15 Comments • Newest first

pinoymystic

[quote=TehRaygunicorn]
@pinoymystic Is he flip? I had no idea this tradition even existed until recently haha[/quote]

No. Actually. He's white and Mexican.

Reply September 14, 2012
TehRaygunicorn

@tuesdaymorning I've certainly got charisma, but I'm not too sure about my earning potential.. I come from a poor, humble background & I'm an English major hahaha time to step up my game & come up with a solid life plan
@xerot0lerance oh man, was she colombian? that's cool though, appreciate the advice
@pinoymystic Is he flip? I had no idea this tradition even existed until recently haha

Reply September 13, 2012
pinoymystic

My boyfriend had to ask my dad. You just need to be yourself and be respectful to their daughter.
My dad looooves my boyfriend as well as my mom.

Edit: well no. My boyfriend insisted in asking my dad permission.

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
tuesdaymorning

I mean, what asian parents want for their girls are generally guys who are sexist dbags, who don't seem at all like players or cheaters, and most importantly who have a LOT of earning potential. They like guys who have family values similar to theirs. Oftentimes they don't even need to ask you, they can just tell from the way you act.

Don't go up to an asian parent saying you major in anything except engineering, pharmacy, premed, predent, business, or prelaw and expect good results.

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
TehRaygunicorn

@pieshadowxx Ahh, thanks for that! I remember using "mano-po" & "po" in general so I'll be sure to do that hehe
@Shikiddo Eep, I'm sorry to hear that.. I'm usually a bit nervous about meeting my partner's parents but my parents are my best friends so I tend to bring them into the equation sooner. Double standards, I know.. nevertheless, I'm very willing and excited to meet parents because I think family is crucial to the development of any healthy relationship (i.e. I probably wouldn't find myself dating someone who has an unhealthy relationship with her family)
@Fierecerain I gotchu haha Thanks for that, I'll do my best to not screw it up
@Oyster She was actually born in LA & then moved to the Philippines to be raised there so she already has her citizenship I appreciate the insight though and agree that what you stated is a definite, unfortunate reality.. a lot of my Colombian family members actually resorted to that tactic to obtain their own citizenship statuses x__x Thanks for the words of encouragement though~

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
Oyster

[quote=TehRaygunicorn] she's an international student here in the states & actually lives back home which is why I have to wait until New Year's to meet her parents. She's never had a boyfriend because her parents haven't accepted it yet which is what I guess makes me nervous.. but thanks![/quote]
One thing that caught my attention is that you mentioned she's an international student, I'm not sure if you are aware of this or not, but there are many of those international students, who comes to the state to study, and tries to hook up with someone to get their citizenship, then file for divorce later down the line, and I'm not 100% sure, but doesn't the male always have to pay the female a large portion of money as well?...
Anyways, I'm not saying that your gf is like that, I'm just letting you know that things like that exists and it's quite common...so just trying to warn you to be careful.
Good luck with everything.

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
Fiercerain

Meeting her parents, seems legitimate. And no I didn't mean it in the b'tard way someone uses seems legit, I mean it's a legitimate way to start off a relationship. Not many people do it these days and I see it as a respectable form of starting off a romantic relationship. Now don't screw it up whilst meeting other flings~

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
pieshadowxx

This is what you do. Almost every filipino parent likes this thing where when you meet, you grab their hand and slightly put the back of their hand on your forehead.
Also you should say maganda umaga/hapon depending on what time it is. You can also say "kamusta po".

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
TehRaygunicorn

@Ickest Thanks buddy, will do
@wasdf Been there, done that.. I'm looking to settle down now
@KaiXai I'm Colombian, but people think I'm mixed? All I know is I'm paler than some of my white friends lolol

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
TehRaygunicorn

@Ickest I planned on traveling to the Philippines this winter on an immersion trip anyway, so yes.. it just works out perfectly, y'know?
She's certainly not going to be in America forever, but I know she's guaranteed to be here to study for at [i]least[/i] the next three years. I believe that time frame should be enough, at this age, to build some sort of stable relationship
I guess what I'm saying is I really want this to work out & I'm willing to work as hard as I can to make it so..

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
TehRaygunicorn

@Ickest Ah Damn Well I hope it was a relationship that fostered growth for 'ya

I guess I'm really intimidated by all these traditional practices; I'm just a white-washed spanish dude who's used to just going with the flow and not having strict traditional values to adhere to lol

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited
TehRaygunicorn

[quote=Peksa]First thing HOW OLD ARE YOU
Yes it matters[/quote]

I'm nearly 22, senior in college

@Ickest Are you still with her? If you don't mind me asking

@iShottedSnow Yes, she's gorgeous hehe
Well, she comes from a rather wealthy & traditional family... she's an international student here in the states & actually lives back home which is why I have to wait until New Year's to meet her parents. She's never had a boyfriend because her parents haven't accepted it yet which is what I guess makes me nervous.. but thanks!

Reply September 13, 2012 - edited