General

Follow Karate Kyle's example and all will be ok.

It's not exactly easy letting people get away with the constant teasing, name-calling, and occasional poking and teasing.

@Ickest: And what makes you think that? I would love to see someone ATTEMPT to mess with me. Why? Because I would not hesitate to take them down. You know not who I am nor what rules I follow, why the assumptions then? I could also assume that you're obviously a spineless child who cannot stand up for himself, hence follows a group of peers without individualism, but that would be wrong to assume, no?

Is it legal to murder a muderer ? No.
Is it morally accepted , yes.

There is a difference between those things.

Never had bullies, but had kids try to pick a fight with me when I was alone.

Called them out the next day during lunch and they ran away LOL. Intimidating friends are fun to chill with.

@onigiri123: Oh, sure it will. You'll become like me, anti-social and cynical and all sorts of angry. I was just giving advice on how to make it through bullying high school... after that, you're on your own. Of course, few people choose the route of apathy. Yeah, it does make you safe, at least it did for me.. on the first page i posted that it's different in different situations. this is true.

@Segumisama: Won't that leave a detrimental effect on your mental state? (Cynical and unwavering?) Sorry, I've never really tried the whole 'ignore' thing.
But, I get what you mean, but will this seclusion make you safe?

@onigiri123: It's not succumbing. It's apathy. You literally do not care. At all. Not one bit. Their names never even cross your mind at all. You don't think of them, you don't fear them, or notice when they call you out. They are nothing to you. It's not 'waiting for it to end', because in your mind, it already HAS ended. you were the one who ended it, simply by not caring.

@fun2killu: Well, that's a case where violent approaches are not necessary. I'm glad that it stopped (forgot to mention this before).

@Kalemora: @Segumisama: It would depend on the situation, but ignoring the threat doesn't necessarily put it to rest. I hate to do this but: do you think that ## (names can't be mentioned on basil O___O. or anyone else who succumbs to not only emotional attacks but physical attacks will be able to live [i]normally[/i] whilst they hope that it'll all end?

We have the legal right of self defense to protect ourselves from bullies. This is only applicable if and only if they are actually; touching, physically harassing, hurting or planning to hurt you. The only reason why I would actually use violence as an option.

[quote=onigiri123]

@Kalemora: If you can continuously make someone feel inferior, will you just stop? I'm pretty sure that they will continue to exert their 'dominance' over their victims.
It'll give them more momentum.
[/quote]

After a few weeks of consciously ignoring my bullies, it became automatic. I no longer cared. At all. I didn't even notice them anymore. No one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. They saw that their bullying had no effect whatsoever on me- I wouldn't flinch or hide my eyes, or blush or anything- they stopped, because they knew that it wouldn't get them anywhere, that they weren't making me feel inferior because I didn't give a damn what they thought of me.

@Deviched: Anonymity is not assured in some situations. I don't hate the idea of whistle-blowing though.

@feared123: No regret or second thoughts if the intent is real.

@Ubuntu: Funnily enough, if the bullies considered this approach from potential victims they may not instigate any attacks at all.

@onigiri123: mental bullying

[quote=feared123]Also think about this : A man is holding a knife and is going to kill you and you are holding a gun. Do you shoot or get killed?[/quote]

If it was in a burst of fear or anger or rage, something like that, then yes.

I could never point blank shoot someone while calmly looking into their eyes.
Or, if I could, I would never be able to live with myself afterwards.

@fun2killu: Physical bullying?

@Kalemora: If you can continuously make someone feel inferior, will you just stop? I'm pretty sure that they will continue to exert their 'dominance' over their victims.
It'll give them more momentum.

@uiluj4: The Gaza strip is a good example of unconventional warfare which correlates to the current context. It's so blatantly obvious that a peaceful means of resolution will still have included the loss of civilian lives.

@eyedrop: I'll carry a spoon around with me. (Unless you refer to shivs made out of spoons in prisons )

Also think about this : A man is holding a knife and is going to kill you and you are holding a gun. Do you shoot or get killed?

beat them to pulp with a spoon

@MiracleGirl: I would say that the bigger individuals will feel superior and will target smaller individuals, but anyone who has MMA or street-violence experience will understand that looks can be deceiving.
There's a massive misconception that taking the mickey will mean you're weak or couldn't fight back. I feel that if you show that you're capable of defending yourself when the moment calls for it, you should take it.

Of course I respect your views and actually would prefer a non-violent approach if it is available.

@onigiri123: I was bullied once pero i told the teacher and then i wasn't bullied.

@fun2killu: Well, I hope never to become like that. It's the situation that prompts you to act.

@Kalemora: In a violent confrontation with the attacker as the instigator, you can't exactly ignore it. Furthermore, what if a friend or even a school mate is being victimised: would you be able to walk-away and keep your belief in non-violence means?

@uiluj4: Thank you. Your not so subtle approach is appreciated.

Self defense?

[quote=Kalemora]Pretend they don't exist. At some point they realize that you're not going to give them the attention and sense of empowerment that they crave. It works for me.[/quote]

Yes, yes! someone who understands! Thank you, Miss.

@NonSonoFronz: Bullying doesn't really occur at my school either (in this context). There will be occasional confrontations such as ethnic disputes, random attacks and just rage fueled violence.
Sometimes, it just occurs. Gone are the days where a guy will demand lunch money.

@CaptCandy: Sometimes, it's not that simple. Cyber bullying, verbal abuse may be solved without violence but the guy who accidentally spills orange juice on someone and gets pushed to the ground and receives kicks will WANT someone to stop the attack if they CAN'T do it themselves. (btw: I made up the OJ story )

@shadow4son: Of course you have to stop at a reasonable point. ie: a lock shouldn't end with the dislocation/breaking of ligaments. A blood choke (such as a rear-naked choke) should be stopped before they fall unconscious: longer holds can lead to brain damage and death.

@PcPls123: Mate, unless you get me by surprise at a choke-point, I hardly think your 'bullying' will do anything. I'm pretty easy-going when taking the mickey, but any intent to deal harm goes beyond laughing along.

The second someone touches me in a threatening manner I am legit going to defend myself.... by you know fighting back.

@fun2killu self defense does not make you a bully. If someone hits you... come on you have every right to fight back.

I don't think it is acceptable. By being violent against a bully, you are just becoming one of them.

As a pacifist, I dislike fighting. Diplomacy is usually the way to go, but if diplomacy doesn't work there needs to be some force involved.

[quote=Segumisama]An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

Just ignore them.[/quote]
Dig two graves before you try to get revenge.
I agree with you to an extent. If I have the means necessary to protect myself and somebody tries to attack me, I'll do what I need to to protect myself. Wether they are unarmed or have a knife or even worse, what you do depends on the situation. For a school fight/bully if he actually tries to fight you, just make a stand and when he stops you stop.
Person above me is a pacifist.
after typing this I forgot the subject. If somebody is bullying me and it actually gets to the physical point and I HAVE to do something, 1. I'll do what I need to without doing too much damage. 2. I shouldn't get in trouble if I protect myself and stop him from trying to hurt me. thats it. If I'm getting bullied and I go all out and break multiple of his bones and end up hospitalizing him, I'd expect to get in trouble, and I rightfully should be.

Violence is unacceptable. Peaceable cooperation is most desired in any diplomatic resolution, from the smallest to largest relationships.

Bullying doesn't even happen at my school. Everyone is generally nice to each other and minds their own business.
But, I do know people who have gotten into fights and they were legitimately protecting themselves and they didn't get reprimanded one bit by the administration.
I like to believe if someone is honestly getting messed with and they are sticking up for themselves, they shouldn't get into any sort of trouble.

Is bullying honestly that common? I have literally never seen it happen in any school I've been to.
I was even the short chubby kid during elementary school, still never got bullied even then. o_o

@VoidWreakz: I mentioned using more subtle approaches. A simple blood-choke will end a confrontation in seconds.

@uiluj4: Unfortunately, teachers don't view it like that. I was externally suspended after another student started throwing punches and I only hit him with force that only prevented further attacks. (I didn't report this to the teachers though, so he must have...)
Someone's brought a knife to school once....but he was trying to act tough.

@UltimateOne: Ok, buddy.

[quote=iNeedPCz]@Segumisama if you were bullied/teased for four years straight, did you try to do something about it?[/quote]

We moved three times in four years, so it wasn't the same people/situation each time. And no, I didn't do anything other than ignore them. Each year, after about two months of them teasing me and me ignoring them, no one would do it anymore. perhaps a few secluded cases afterwards, but never constantly, becaue I never talked, never called attention to myself. Ever. Yeah, it was lonely. Yeah, sometimes i went for a month without talking to anyone at school. when i did talk, it was to the teachers. Amusingly enough? by the end of my junior year, it was almost as if I was invisible. I would have my ipod out on my desk in front of me with my headphones on and teacher either didn't care, or didn't see me. I was always very, very quiet. No one notices/cares about the one girl sitting in the corner when there's other, whinier kids to pick on, eh?

sorry. Basil isn;'t therapy >_<

@onigirl123 : Indeed. In my senior year of highschool, my situation amused me. There was a very, very loudmouthed aggressive female who was a sophmore. She was quite large, and she was used to being "n charge" of people. First month of school, I was the 'new kid' (it was a very very small school of ~400 kids). and she started making fun of me almost immediately. I ignored her and her friends. After another month of this, she grew bored and ignored me as well. Then about mid-year, she asked me "why are you so weird?" She didn't mean this in a mean way, but she was genuinely curious why I never spoke to anyone or did much of anything. I don't exactly remember my reply, something like 'because that's just how I am.' She then started talking to me normally. I never really said much other than nodding and saying 'yeah'. After this, anytime anyone would try to pick on me she'd immediately tongue-lash them and defend me.

Like I said, amusing.

I agree that certain violence can lead to retaliation from friends, siblings etc. I've seen Year 12s come up to the school after an ethnic dispute.

@Segumisama: Whilst there are some girls who get violent, most will use verbal, emotional means of bullying. (I can't say use violence then).

@Ickest: He brings up a point which arises from many people. Being Asian doesn't necessary warrant you being soft: there are many 'smaller' Asians who can easily throw a bigger person or send them to hospital. [I read the thread about your room-mate and feel for you. Don't take him as a generalization of all Asians.]

Dealing with bullies is entirely different in every case. It depends on many, many things such as who the people you're being bullied by, what type of person you are, etc. for some people, they can break one of the bullies' noses and then he's never messed with ever again. For another person, if they break their tormentors' nose, the tormentor's friends will only seek revenge and make the victim's life living hell for the next four years. for me, ignoring them worked. For other people, that might not work. It's different in every circumstance. there's no one way to deal with them. In some cases, telling the authorities will work, but in other cases, the authorities will do diddly-sqwuat and now you're known as 'the kid who ratted on so-and-so'. etc.

@jjgpirate: I agree. If you can show that you aren't vulnerable or 'weak', you'll gain some ground.

@MiracleGirl: Sometimes, all it'll take is an example that you can't be pushed around. A simple take-down that shows him/her and their friends that you're no easy target can prevent further bullying.

If one does not stand up for oneself, the tormentor will only see that as weakness and assert even more power over the victim. Bullies only have as much power as one would let them have. Best way to stop a bully? Show them that their actions are not appreciated and see how they feel when they pay the price for their deeds.

@Segumisama: Not quite a measure of bullying. But then again, TS never actually specified to what magnitude, so... yeah. It's different from person to person, you're quite emotionally strong I'm guessing.

@enoch129: from personal experience, it's not that hard, or perhaps I haven't been bullied 'hard' enough. I just put headphones on (big ones, the ones that cover your entire ears) and ignore them. Even when they poked me or shoved me, just ignore the hell out of them. Even if they're looking into your eyes yelling at you, look past them, or think about something else, block them out. It's what I did for four years.

@onigiri123 : Of course not. If it a personal problem that could very well lead to someone getting seriously physically hurt, then by all means, call the police, call CPS, an aunt, uncle, whatever. But if you've got no where to turn to, no one who would help you (or, worse, people who tell you to just "stop being such a coward&quot ignore them. Generally in school it won't get any worse than perhaps them shoving you or yelling at you. Outside of high school, by all means seek outside help. but if it's just some cowards picking on you, then you don't have to argue/yell back at them and thereby make it worse. I've learned that if you show any sign that you're giving them ANY attention, they just redouble their efforts. If you ignore them then they eventually leave you alone.

Ratting out or "telling authorities" will only make things worse for you as you will be seen as spineless and a weak coward.
So yes it is acceptable in my eyes as it is (IMO) the only way to stop bullies or set them straight.

Just as in my eyes diplomacy never solves anything rather than delay the problem.

[quote=Segumisama]An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

Just ignore them.[/quote]

Well, I've never been bullied but ignoring a problem usually won't get you anywhere.

Would you say 'ignore them' to someone who gets smacked around everyday (by their parents)?

[quote=Segumisama]An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

Just ignore them.[/quote]

Easy to say, hard to do. (Not from personal experience, never been bullied)

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

Just ignore them.