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nightshade Level 53 Bera Assassin
Hey guys. I have depression. I honestly think I'm a nuisance to everyone I know. I don't have any family problems but I'm 16 and have never had a girlfriend. How pathetic is that? Every single one of my friends has been in a relationship and I never have been in one. Don't give me the "Oh you'll find someone" bs. I don't care. EVERYONE finds someone. That doesn't make me special. No ones gonna care because its gonna happen to all people and that honestly doesn't make me feel any better. So screw that. I'm alone. All my friends, every guy at the school is "omg so hot" and I'm hideous. It's ridiculous. I look hideous. The girl of my dreams basically told me "oh you're sweet but I'm not looking for a relationship" but yet she continues to flirt with a guy who has continuously treated me terribly. And when I argue with him over ANYTHING, everyone defends him. If he calls me a name it's okay because everyone wants to be his friend so they say nothing but if I tell him to shut up or whatever everyone starts attacking me. I've honestly had enough. FORGET never having a girlfriend, I think, literally speaking, every male human that I have ever come in contact with has actually been crushed on. I can never definitively retell an instance in which a girl has actually liked me. How sad is that? Seriously? This is ridiculous. Please help.
Posted: A few weeks ago Permalink
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soundfix Level 203 Scania Xenon 4
I'm gonna take you hella seriously and offer you some serious advice cause this doesnt seem like a troll post to me.
It would seem here that you are blaming the world about your circumstance. "All the guys are considered hot, I was born with bad genes. The world shouldve given me good genes, Im undesired because the world is at fault, not giving me good looks" Here's the thing though, the world doesnt owe you anything. It doesnt owe anything to anyone. It gives what we make of it.

So if you want things to start changing for you, you gotta start changing yourself, cause the world isnt obliged to be nice to you, just like how the what I assume is a typical high school DB who treats you badly isnt obliged to treat you nice, nor is the girl you're crushing on obliged to be interested in you or not flirt with whomever she fancies.

It sucks heaps but this is the real world. Luckily for you having to deal with these things lets you grow up emotionally faster than others. And just like how you can grow up emotionally, you can also change yourself. So what if you consider yourself hideous now. Doesnt mean you cant become better over time. I'm not making assumptions here, but if you're overweight, work out, if you're short, sleep earlier to grow taller, if you're skinny, eat more. Perhaps you were unfortunate that you dont have the most dashing face, but that doesnt matter either, change your haircut, find the angle in which you look best, flaunt it. You can always improve yourself, and when you do, people start flocking to you. The way I understand it, which could be wrong by the way- do correct me if I am, your loathing of the world puts other people off. Or rather, somewhere subconsciously your negativity is leaking out.

Have confidence in yourself. If you cant be confident, improve yourself first, so that one day you can be confident, and hopefully not depressed. Unfortunately, some people will always feel a bit sad inside, but then in that case at the very least, work on yourself so that one day you will get used to feeling sad, and be ok with it, so that you can carry this emotion and still go about the world with confidence.

Now what I wrote here could have it's errors and not apply to you completely, feel free to reply and rant to your hearts content. Maybe with a few more posts things might get better and you might find something of use to you?
Jun 12 2017
nightshade Level 53 Bera Assassin
@soundfix: Thank you very much for taking the time to form a serious reply. I greatly appreciate all that you said.
Jun 12 2017
xdarkshynobi Level 204 Scania Blade Master
@nightshade: weak bro, when I was in middle school I weighted like 160 lbs & was 5'4. It didn't stop me from asking out the girl I liked multiple times. Making her feel like she was different than all the rest. It wasn't even like I had any type of confidence.

She was just everything I thought I wanted at the time. Emarssement and reject wasn't even a thought in my mind because I knew the next day I would try my best to get her to notice me.

Keep on trying. The chick said the exact same thing to me. "I'm to young for a boyfriend right now." I said "Than how about tomorrow?" Your doing something wrong buddy. I can't be there to explain what it is either. I'd skip class to talk to her. My teachers knew I liked her because I'd rush over to her class just to say hi.

If only you knew how much harder it is in the adult world. When nobody has time for anything. We both know our career is more important than a relationship right now.

Don't eat yourself up. Legit talk to EVERYONE. That is my best advice to you. Wen you see a girl just say hi and ask her about her next class or what class she taking next year or if she has plans or what kind or things she interested in. Don't forget to talk about yourself though.
Jun 12 2017
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upcomingnerd Level 102 Scania Beast Tamer Shared
+3 Have you met Frad?
Jun 12 2017
nightshade Level 53 Bera Assassin
@xdarkshynobi: Yeah man I feel ya. But at least when she said she was too young for a boyfriend you didn't see her holding hands with some dude a day later or something like that. Because that's happened to me so many times. Including the girl of my dreams telling me I was sweet but she had no interest in any kind of relationship with any guy yet flirting with the a-hole who treats me like ****. But thanks for the advice.

@upcomingnerd: Yeah I have, if you're talking about who I think you are.
Jun 12 2017
xdarkshynobi Level 204 Scania Blade Master
@nightshade: @nightshade: Your not taking enough action. You haven't even given me a single example of how you even attempted to MAKE her interested. The way you talk about the other dude & how you talk about yourself should be reversed.

Play a song openly around her & see if she reacts. Get extra close see if she pushes you away. Don't be afraid to seem thirsty. Tell her she's got really nice eyes. At your age your really impressionable.

MAKE other people envy your courage. I really don't want you to think your not good enough. I've been there. Your life is what you make it. I promise you there's nothing to be ashamed of if you lose a fight.

Let me remind you. They guy is standing between everything you have dreamed of up until this point.
Jun 12 2017
beefly Level 180 Windia Kanna 4 Justaway Guild See what games, anime & art beefly is intoBeefly
@fradd: Help your brother.

@nightshade: Sounds like you need confidence, girls say you're nice but not enough. They need some spice in their life. Being 'nice' alone sounds boring. Also don't worry if you don't have a gf, I think it'll come naturally, but you DO have to work for it and especially to maintain the relationship. Unless you just want one night stands or something.
Jun 12 2017
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ecarina Level 230 Galicia Cannoneer 4
I can guarantee that not having a girlfriend at 16 is nothing special. From what I've seen the most important thing is confidence. I know a guy whose twin brother was way more popular than him in High School because he was just more confident. It had nothing to do with looks, they were identical twins, but people were drawn to the guy who thought more of himself.

Besides you're only 16. I know it might not feel like this now but that's really young, you shouldn't have to worry about that now, you've still got the opportunity to go to college and reinvent yourself, and if that doesn't work you can do so when you leave college, it's never too late. Hell you can do it now, you seem like kind of a loner, screw it, be audacious, get a silly haircut, wear a jester's hat for no reason, some guy I knew in high school just came to school one day in a full rabbit costume. Wasn't even Halloween he was just that kind of person and it was fun. You've got to not take yourself so seriously. You don't wanna turn into one of those guys who considers himself a "nice guy" and gets mad at girls that don't go out with them. CONFIDENCE
Jun 12 2017
readers Level 131 Scania Beginner See what games, anime & art readers is intoReaders
The misconception, often stated by media like TV, books, movies, etc. is that "everyone finds that someone" when relationships are a thing you work at. If the former were the case, people wouldn't break up all the time.

I wouldn't recommend the advice of @xdarkshynobi, or at least if you still want to pursue this particular girl, you better make sure this doesn't actually go to the extent that it comes off as too desperate, or it becomes harassment. A no is a no. (But to OP: even if that girl isn't interested in you, what makes you think that there won't be some other girl who may like you?)

Besides these words, I have nothing else to say, since this is an online MapleStory forum, and I don't think anybody should try to make judgments about somebody's life if they don't necessarily know what's going on, as we are not them. I'll just say;
1) 16 is young, and you have plenty of time - there are guys who are in their 20s and 30s who haven't been in relationships, it's more common than you think
2) high school is a small world compared to the outside world, and you'll know what I mean once you become 18 and an adult with responsibilities, so these issues you're having right now are normal, but you'll look back on them differently much later
3) if you're not receiving treatment or help for your mental health issues, I highly recommend you try to find some. There will be some counselors/therapists/psychiatrists who can definitely help, although that does require some searching around to find someone who can actually help you. Your high school may provide some details for you, and some of these professionals may work on a sliding scale fee in accordance with your financial situation.

Anyways, good luck to you, and I hope that one day you'll find happiness again.
Jun 12 2017
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themayorofchat Level 139 Reboot Bishop
Don't even worry about it. I had a friend who didn't have sex until he was 19. But within 2 years the guy has had sex with over 50 girls.

Your time will come.
Jun 12 2017
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