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Ive been feeling very sad and depressed

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herosgate Level 143 Windia Buccaneer
This hasn't just started out of the blue, I've felt this way for quite some time now. I want to say this has started around my sophomore year of high school. I'm currently 19.
But I've never had it this bad, and no it's not some phase, it's not a breakup, and its not teenage angst. Lately, I've noticed that every time someone talks to me, I don't pay attention, or I just get very annoyed, even If its with my best friends, family, acquaintances, etc.. I remember I was very social, but now I'm noticing that I just don't want to talk to anyone or just being antisocial. I just keep everything to myself. I don't know how to explain this feeling. The things I used to like doing, no longer makes me happy... I consider those things as chore now and I find no pleasure in doing them. I find myself to be bored at whatever I'm doing. Whether I'm out, inside, with family, or with friends, I just feel extremely bored. I'm sleeping much more than I used to, I'm eating at least 2 meals a day, or maybe even 1. I don't really have an appetite either. I mean, sure ill put a smile on my face when I'm out so no one will ask me if anything is wrong. My close friends are in college, and they know that I've been like this. They even talked to me about it, and I just said that they made me feel better when I really didn't since I thought i was bothering them or wasting their time on me. I don't want to say I'm depressed either, because I don't know If I am. I don't enjoy talking to my friends about my feelings, I haven't gotten professional help in fear of my family judging me. I feel I'm being judged on a daily basis when I'm walking to my classes. I know my friends are there to help me whenever I need it, but lately I just feel like I'm bothering them. They're hanging out with friends in College, and sometimes I feel like they'll forget me at some point and move on with better things in their lives.

I'm scared and I don't know what I'm going to do.
Posted: September 2015 Permalink

Replies

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baddenboy12 Level 210 Reboot I/L Arch Mage
join the club
Sep 11 2015
fradddd Level 170 Windia Hero
It sounds like depression to me.
Trust me I'm a doctor.
Now take off your pants.

Also, would [the unlikely] judgement from your family really be worse than going through this depression? Go to a counselor or doctor or whatever.
Sep 11 2015
Since you're over 18, I don't think you need to tell your parents about therapy.
Sep 11 2015
xreniya Level 209 Bera Evan 10th Growth AUniversityO Guild See what games, anime & art xreniya is intoXreniya
if you're sure your friends are going to forget you anyway, why not bother them until they do?
and when you find out how to not be bored, be sure to tell me about it
good luck, hope you find what you're looking for
Sep 11 2015
xdarkshynobi Level 204 Scania Blade Master
its okay to be sad.
Sep 11 2015
blackwingblade Level 167 Bera Blade Recruit
If you choose to live your life in a manner that creates guilt you will constantly build up depression, negative energy. I'm going to recommend something that you'll probably be annoyed by hearing, something that I do everyday to eliminate a good chunk of negative energy. You might not take my word but I still hope you do. Here it is "pray to god for a good 15/20 minutes". Even if you don't really believe in anything, still pray. Lust, greed, gluttony, envy, wrath, sloth (laziness), pride. The seven deadly sins cause guilt. Guilt = depression. Your depression is literally a reflection of a lost soul. Don't live as your body, live as your soul because your body is only a shell. When you pray, pray for forgiveness, recognize god not as a visible being but as infinite righteousness in you: safety, courage, strength, confidence, certainty, healing, gratitude, forgiveness, etc. Never ever hold grudges against anyone, choose to be forgiving, giving and have gratitude. I don't know how difficult your life is but if you always feel guilty you'll get even more depressed. Even if you don't believe in god (good), he is watching you no matter what, he is the reason your soul is inside your body. He's even the reason your seeking happiness because he created you to want it. (oh and yes I believe in gods son)

I'm sure everyone hear is drawn to everything that is positive/righteous. Anything unrighteous is something that humans spirits naturally notice and dislike or try they're best to ignore.
Sep 12 2015
trueatheist Level 63 Bera Crossbow Man Justaway Guild See what games, anime & art trueatheist is intoTrueAtheist
hey me too

mine's a very very long, dragged out breakup though, so[/quote]

Those are the worst.

OT: Seek professional help, there is medication out there that can help you as well as non-medicinal treatments. Your parents don't have to know.

@blackwingblade I like how you articulated that. I myself do not believe in God but I do what people would consider "praying" from time to time, especially on those times you feel like crap.
Sep 12 2015
skyenets Level 205 Scania Evan 10th Growth See what games, anime & art skyenets is intoSkyenets
Honestly, most of the advice/comments on this thread are pretty unhelpful but nothing was expected from basilmarket. Atleast Dorks took it seriously. You have all the signs of depression. I think you should get help even if you are scared of how you will be perceived. Alot of people view depression as some type of weakness coming from the person and that a change in attitude will negate the feelings/actions caused by depression. When in reality, it is a mental sickness. Get help. You aren't weak if you do, you are stronger than most people if you do.

Depression: The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of emotional and physical conditions. These include inability to sleep or concentrate on tasks. Changes in appetite, decreased energy level, and thoughts of suicide are also seen.[/quote]

This is basically what I was going to tell you. The feelings you experience fit at least a mild form of depression. Seeking help would be best. This does not mean that you will be medicated or anything it just means that someone will help you understand why you feel dejected and help you figure out how to deal with it. Bottling it all up and hiding it away from your surroundings is not healthy.

EDIT: I just noticed the part where you don't want your family to know. They don't need to know. Personally I have been dealing with depression since I was 14. I am now 22 and my family is completely in the dark regarding this matter. The early years they simply didn't pay enough attention to me to realise (their focus was my brother, long story). Before anything I "got better" to some extend and I thought it was something in my past. Two years ago I started university abroad. Due to circumstances I became depressed again. Things happened and I finally got help. Being at university and being over 18 meant that I didn't have to tell anyone I didn't want to know. My parents are completely in the dark about this and they will always be. I don't think they'd be judgemental towards me, they'd just be judgemental towards themselves. I don't believe they could possibly help me so I rather leave it like this. I can understand where you're coming from though. The idea that my family might know kind of makes me panic as I really don't want to deal with them knowing such a thing about me.
Sep 12 2015
zetradedd Level 202 Broa Kaiser 4
Those are the worst.

OT: Seek professional help, there is medication out there that can help you as well as non-medicinal treatments. Your parents don't have to know.

@blackwingblade I like how you articulated that. I myself do not believe in God but I do what people would consider "praying" from time to time, especially on those times you feel like crap.[/quote]

Yeah it's probably the worst thing I've experienced so far. Really sad
Sep 12 2015
achyif Level 172 Windia Night Lord See what games, anime & art achyif is intoachyif
different schools do vary a bit in how helpful their mental services are.

Anyways, professional help would be the most surefire way to get an answer as to what you should do.
I think continuing to talk to people is a good idea.
Sep 13 2015
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