I like this girl
But she has major mood swings and a lot of mental illnesses. When she's in her "happy mood", she's the best person to be around. It seems like she's mostly sad/depressed/angry though but I have feelings for her. So when she's in the happy mood, I'd talk to her and hang out with her. If she's sad/angry, then I would give her space cause if I try comforting her she'd tell me to ef off.
I have feelings for her but don't know how long I can be patient with her. Mostly because I've known her for a couple years and we had a "thing" before she was diagnosed with her condition. So I guess my feelings came back for her?
What to do o' wise basil?
December 24, 2012
27 Comments • Newest first
@zoneflare2: After giving it some thought I'm going to agree with you and take your advice. I don't think I should risk my own happiness for the sake of her's. I think I mentioned it earlier but she said she expects me to take her to prom (apparently she thinks no one else would take her). I never said I would take her but I don't want her getting her hopes up. I might not want to take her but I don't know how she'll handle that rejection and see me take another girl. It would be easier if I didn't want to go at all, which I'm considering but just in case I change my mind and want to take someone else.
Shes Bi-Winning
You guys don't need to necessarily date right now. You guys can just talk Sometimes, people just need someone to talk to.
[quote=MrMagikarp]Trust me, back off a bit. The more you try to be with her at a time when she's like this, the more likely you are to get permanently friend-zoned. [/quote]
LOL friendzone isn't possible with me, she does like me but the problem is that I'm not sure if I should date her or not.
@zoneflare2: She's 17 and she has like depression, some eating disorder, some other stuff you would say a typical teen girl would have but apparently she has medically proof that she's mentally ill for that disorder...
[quote=Thupie]u like da girl den you canot do dis:
"ok a girl was walking to skwool with her bf and dey wer talkin and everyting wen de gurl ask him
"bbyz does u luv me 4ever?"
the boy said "NO"
da gurl cryed and ran acros de rode wen a car come and hit her.
The boy ran and wen to de dead gurl and said
"bby, i dun luv u 4ever, i love u 5 ever (dat mean he luv her moar dan 4ever)" -@nottheonlyone[/quote]
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQuR8LVKhUE]You mean this?[/url]
u like da girl den you canot do dis:
"ok a girl was walking to skwool with her bf and dey wer talkin and everyting wen de gurl ask him
"bbyz does u luv me 4ever?"
the boy said "NO"
da gurl cryed and ran acros de rode wen a car come and hit her.
The boy ran and wen to de dead gurl and said
"bby, i dun luv u 4ever, i love u 5 ever (dat mean he luv her moar dan 4ever)" -@nottheonlyone
Thats the first sign that shes gonna turn gay watch out.
@NoobCake You could wait until she becomes better...if you're willing to be patient. If not, you should move on and support her as a friend. It isn't right to be with someone if you pity them. You'd be much happier if you were with someone else.
@zoneflare2: She goes to therapy every week at a mental hospital and trust me man, this isn't her pmsing
It could possibly be teenage mood swings mixed with mental illness... ugh this situation is a mess.
@NoobCake: You don't think I know that? Of course I do. that's why I've been trying my best to actually try my best not to be like that. I've been trying to be okay, at the very least. And he's crazy for having done this for a year. I really don't know how he does it, but he just does.
And I understand, you're not obliged to be with her if you want to. But that's only if you really like her, you'll stay. But it's really hell. I even find myself a living hell.
Go ahead if you wanna pm me.
[quote=zoneflare2]dude you are not this girls therapist and you should not try and be her rock. She needs to get professional help and over come this on her own. You have more important things and better you should be doing besides trying to play hero to this girl. grow a backbone and do whats best for you.[/quote]
You are 100% correct but love is a selfless emotion... and I feel like ditching her cause of her condition doesn't seems like the "human" thing to do... I have a backbone but I'm unsure if playing with my emotions for her is worth the trouble. She IS a great person when she isn't down but other times she's not worth it. But I'm agreeing with you, I'll probably keep it mutual and move on.
@pinoymystic: But do you find it repetitive enough that he may just call it quits? Do you fear that he would get tired of it and leave? I'm thinking that my patience may only be temporary before I want to call it quits, which may damage her even more.
Can I PM you?
Honestly I would suggest wait it out to see if her condition will get better. Having a partner like that is probably horribly painful and stressy and as much as you would be willing to try it would put you two through a rollercoaster of good and cruel emotions.
Wait until she's more stable and don't go and think that being with her would solve it cause it wouldn't.
Her situation could get better - but it could also get worse (cause after all she would have someone take her the way she is and she might let loose and not care about improving herself since there is one to catch her whenever anyway)
If you wanna you could talk to her about it. Let her know you like her but you're worried about what her mood swings might do to both of you and that it (I assume) hurts you when she tells you to leave when all you're doing is help her (in a relationship she shouldn't just send you away and instead let you in on the issue so you can support her in it). But if she has mood swings AND mental illness even that might be wasted time.
Relationships with such people can end rather ugly and the "ill" person might actually completely lock up at the end of it and you'll be forced to leave before you break apart yourself (watched a case with a depressed girl... it really didn't end well).
Best for you and her is to either not date and avoid drama and heartbreak or to wait until she is better so she will be able to openly embrace you and actually have a mutual relationship with you (instead of her always freaking out on your ass while you try to save the situation)
[quote=NoobCake]+1 like
I somewhat agree with this. I feel like she's bringing it upon herself and although she says she "can't control it", I feel like she's overdoing it... but I can't really make that judgement. Once she kept telling me that no one could love her cause of how she is and although I protested against it, she kept saying so.
Women. [/quote]
I can actually empathize with her. I'm exactly like her, actually.
But I've been trying my best to get over this hurdle of trying to get better, but it's pretty hard, you know? To find the core of why this happens to a person; it's quite difficult.
My boyfriend tries to be patient with me, but he loses it sometimes, which is totally understandable. I don't really deserve anyone really and I've been trying to think that it'd be better to stay alone so I won't hurt anyone.
But even so, if you really love/like someone, you still try to be there whether their faults are horrible. You try to learn to be patient with them and many other things.
In the end, I think about the things I've done and how I got here with my boyfriend. I waited a whole year for him and I really don't want to lose him. Not for the sake of him because he's my first boyfriend. But I don't like the thought of losing him. He's probably the only person, like in general, I actually fell for. Like even as a human being. I know he ain't perfect though, but still. he's still pretty crazy for sticking around someone like me.
[quote=taotapp]She doesn't [i]deserve[/i] to be alone; it isn't like she chose to have a mental illness. If she could -not- "overdo" her sudden attitude shifts, then it wouldn't be an illness in the first place. I'm not saying you should be with her out of pity; I just think it's ridiculous to say that she deserves the inevitably depressing, empty, lonely life that she'll probably end up leading if she can't get some medication/therapy.
In all honesty, I'd advise against dating her until she gets her issues sorted out. Sit down with her, tell her how her mood shifts make you feel, and suggest getting help. If she's completely against changing her alienating habits, [i]then[/i] she deserves to be alone.[/quote]
I agree with this and the first poster. If you're willing to stick through thick and thin with her then be her friend but make sure she clearly understands that.
@taotapp: Well yes, she doesn't deserve to be alone but she's basically digging her own hole. All she'll tell me is that she can't control her moods and who she is and I don't wanna just ditch her like that. She's already taking medication and therapy but it doesn't seem to be working to me.
Don't know if this is relevant but she did mention that I'm her "only possible date for prom" and I'm not even sure if I want to go or take her cause of how she treats me at times. Does that make me a bad person?
Chloroform solves everything.
[quote=ExpiredMilk]Someone like her deserves to be alone.[/quote]
[quote=NoobCake]
I somewhat agree with this. I feel like she's bringing it upon herself and although she says she "can't control it", I feel like she's overdoing it... but I can't really make that judgement. [b]Once she kept telling me that no one could love her cause of how she is and although I protested against it, she kept saying so. [/b]
Women. [/quote]
She doesn't [i]deserve[/i] to be alone; it isn't like she chose to have a mental illness. If she could -not- "overdo" her sudden attitude shifts, then it wouldn't be an illness in the first place. I'm not saying you should be with her out of pity; I just think it's ridiculous to say that she deserves the inevitably depressing, empty, lonely life that she'll probably end up leading if she can't get some medication/therapy.
In all honesty, I'd advise against dating her until she gets her issues sorted out. Sit down with her, tell her how her mood shifts make you feel, and suggest getting help. If she's completely against changing her alienating habits, [i]then[/i] she deserves to be alone.
Stay away from her. If she's pissy at you when she's depressed, then just say eff it. It's not worth your time. Maybe you can convince her to be fwb?
tell her how you feel and work things out
she might not even want to be with someone
she might need to focus on herself or something
[quote=NoobCake]+1 like
I somewhat agree with this. I feel like she's bringing it upon herself and although she says she "can't control it", I feel like she's overdoing it... but I can't really make that judgement. Once she kept telling me that no one could love her cause of how she is and although I protested against it, she kept saying so.
Women. [/quote]
Just leave her. Dating a insecure girl is often a pain in the ass.
If she has problems like that, then so will you when you get with her.
[quote=WunderKind]0/10
[url=http://i.imgur.com/uX1nE.jpg]pic of OP[/url][/quote]
+1 like
[quote=ExpiredMilk]Someone like her deserves to be alone.[/quote]
I somewhat agree with this. I feel like she's bringing it upon herself and although she says she "can't control it", I feel like she's overdoing it... but I can't really make that judgement. Once she kept telling me that no one could love her cause of how she is and although I protested against it, she kept saying so.
Women.
Stay away from her. Crazy girls are not fun to be around.
git da faq owt.
Someone like her deserves to be alone.
Maybe she's on her period?