General

No, and with my current schedule, I don't think having one would make sense

Not particularly interested.

@PcPls123 Oh lawdy, you will always have the hub mate. Praying for that there rooster of peace and its exercise goals of 2013. No homo

i sleep with everyone if i'm single so having a bf keeps me in line

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]

congrats on not becoming the next loser that moans about his/her dating experience on maple forums

I have no idea what is going on in my love life. It's sorta like the Schrodinger's Cat Box. Alive and dead at the same time.

No and I'm not looking to be in one.

[quote=opmeTK]I would've read it.

As for my situation, the girl and I have both agreed to try dating, since I'm coming out of the notorious "Friend Zone", but we just haven't made it official. I don't know if it's exactly the friend zone, since she's apparently had feelings for me ever since we started talking, back in October. Yes, I was, and currently am her best friend too. It can happen, guys[/quote]
she posted it. lol

@trashed: I read everything.
I'm really sorry... And it was pretty unfair for him to tell you on a whim.

It's especially hard to get over someone when you've been with them for so long. -sighs- I can't really say much, but do know that it isn't your fault that he stopped loving you. People change. He probably did when you saw everything just as the way it used to be.

@trashed i know this is no consolation but genuinely... it'll get better with time i'm really sorry that you had to go through something so awful

@TrueAtheist

I really doubt that he found someone new. He said he's been having doubts for weeks/months and finally decided he can't do it any more, so that's why it seemed that he did it with little hesitation... because he's been mulling it over in his head for a while. I suppose it could be a possibility but I really don't see it, and even after I thought about it and questioned myself whether I should ask him (if that's the real reason), I realized I don't even want to know. Ignorance is bliss. But like I said, I doubt that's the reason.

It's weird, because after I wrote that long post I didn't even get emotional while typing it out or reading it out to myself afterwards. I guess that's a sign I'm starting to get over it slightly.

no lol
the reason why is because internet

@trashed That was so sad...

@trashed Damn that sucks. More often than not when someone breaks up with little hesitation, for seemingly no reason, and is acting like they've already moved on it's because they've found someone new. He could have bought you the expensive jewelery to compensate for the guilt he was feeling at the time.

Hopefully he mans up and gives you a proper explanation because after 3 and 1/2 years you deserve one.

Good luck with moving on, I know it seems impossible to right now, but as time goes on it will get easier.

Is there an about to be option?

@Trashed That's actually rather similar to the way I ended my first relatively long term relationship of 2 years, as in the manner in which I dropped my ex was almost the same. If he's anything like I was 2 years ago, he probably won't come back, and he probably just got bored. Personally, I got over it quickly and gave it no more thought.

Then again, my ex was slightly psycho, had a penchant for rolling down hills late at night when she was sad and coming to ring on my doorbell, and like Portland. I hate Portland.

But oh well, chin up, perk up, go squat. Because it's hot.

Because you asked:
@HastyHeist @xoqtprincessxo @Tasnia @Dorks @TrueAtheist @ExpiredMilk

[b]TLDR: super cheesy wall of text, probably a waste of time to read[/b]

I'm still coming to terms with our breakup and try to piece myself back together. I feel confusion, longing, anxiety, desperation, nostalgia... I feel so broken and cheated by how it ended. I'm not saying that either of us cheated on one another, but I just don't feel that it was fair for it to end. It was so sudden, like I was blindsided. It wasn't expected at all. After being with someone for 3 and a half years and then to randomly hear your best friend say that he can't be with you anymore is simply heartbreaking. Don't think we didn't end on good terms -- we did. I don't hate him and I don't hold any grudges. I'm not even angry at him. How can I be? How can you be mad at someone because they stop loving you? Love is either there or it isn't, and you can't control that. You can fight to hold onto it but ultimately you can't stop it from disappearing and you can't continue to hold onto something if there isn't anything left. I know this is such a bullsh#t response, but that's how I've come to terms to agree with it... because right now I'm still in love, and I can't understand how/why that stopped for him... but it's not his fault so how can I be mad at him? If anything I just want him & myself to be happy and if that's how I see it then I can't be mad at him if I'm compromising his happiness. We're not meant for each other, and that's what's killing me inside because the feeling isn't mutual -- so I'm forced into losing him.

Everything between us felt the same as always, there were no indications that his feelings changed. We had our ups and downs like any other couple, but there was no reason for me to believe things were about to end. There were no major issues or fights recently. We weren't dishonest with each other. No one ever cheated on each other. There wasn't any stress from our family or friends. I gave him space when he asked for it. I supported him and cared for him and loved him. I don't hate him but I hate how he ended it. He wasn't ever the best at expressing his emotions or what he was thinking at the moment, but the fact he held this in completely until the moment he broke it off with me is really unfair, and that's what is making it so hard for me. He told me that it was something that's been on his mind for the past few [i]months[/i]. Yes, months. I know that breaking up with someone is never easy, or that it's never the right time either, but after we'd been together for so long I would have appreciated him to do it another way rather than just dropping a bomb on me. Why couldn't he have ever talked to me about having doubts? Maybe things would have been different then. Or at least I would have been able to somewhat mentally prepare myself for a breakup...

I've been thinking and thinking, and going over every possibility as to [i]why[/i] he stopped loving me, and really I'm not even sure if he could answer that.
- [i]Could it be because we're still so young, and he wants to experience life for a bit?[/i] I mean we started dating as teenagers and are now in our 20's. He also mentioned that he doesn't plan on living in our city forever, but he thinks I plan to. Truth is I would be open minded to moving elsewhere... but whatever, that doesn't even matter now.
- [i]Is it because we've been together for so long, that maybe things were getting too serious?[/i] Maybe the thought of us living together soon scared the hell out of him. I don't know, but honestly we never even really talked about our future that much. We were practical, and lived in the moment. We weren't discussing "when we get married we will--" or "our first house will be this--" or "our future kids name will be--". No. We never talked about marriage or kids, but the idea of us living together was mentioned often enough, so I wasn't too concerned about that stuff because that's how our relationship had always been... working on things one step at a time, and never jumping ahead of ourselves. Like, I mean there was some mention of our future together but it wasn't the only purpose of our relationship.
- [i]Is it because we were each others first real serious relationship?[/i] I've dated before but I don't consider any of those guys my 'exes', because there just wasn't the same connection... they were just flings... and it just couldn't compare. This was different. And same goes for him, before we started dating I knew he dated/slept around... but no one was ever considered his 'girlfriend' before me. Is the fact that I'm his first girlfriend like some rule that it couldn't work in the end? Thinking back, did we really know what type of partner we were looking for when we were teenagers? Probably not -- but it seemed to work out for us up until now. I don't know what changed in him.
Like what is the answer here? Is there ever a black and white answer as to why someone stops loving someone?[i]Or does it just happen over time?[/i]

Days before it ended, we spent the weekend together. How was I to tell that something was different? We spent Christmas and New Years together, and he bought me an expensive set of jewelry. How does that not say "I love you"? So why would he do that? Why wouldn't he just buy me clothes or something less romantic? Maybe I'm just incredibly naive, or maybe we just became so comfortable together, and our relationship was so monotonous that things got boring for him. How long did he stop loving me and continue to tell me otherwise? How many times did he do these loving things but not really mean any of it? I can't tell if that's selfish or selfless, because clearly he wanted to continue to make me happy. Was it selfless? He cared too deeply for me and knew that he would break me if/when he told me his true feelings... Or on the other hand would you call it selfishness? So he could continue pretending that he loved me for his own benefit while I assumed everything was normal.

He told me that things changed between us, that things weren't the same any more. He said he no longer saw a future with me. He said he really didn't see us lasting, so why draw it out any longer -- only for it to lead to us hating each other? He said if we were to live together, that it would ruin us. He said he knew that we would break up eventually, so he thought it was best to end it when we still cared about each other rather than feeling hatred towards each other and before things got messy. His heart wasn't in it any more and he didn't want to lie to himself or to me any more. He said he still cares for me deeply, but doesn't love me any more. He said we could be still friends like how we were before we were together -- but I told him I couldn't do that. Not yet at least. There are too many emotions and I'm tired of pretending they aren't there. I'm tired of my heart racing every time I see his face or name. I'm tired of pretending I don't want to talk to him any more. I lie and tell myself that I'm better off, and I don't miss him, but with every message I receive I find myself hoping that it's him. I need to let go and move on and stop pretending to.

People keep telling me that it'll get better over time but right now I can't imagine that when I can barely go a couple hours without thinking about him because everything reminds me of him. At first I was holding on to a sliver of hope that he'd realize he made a mistake and take me back, but we've talked in the meantime and I know it's not going to happen. I'm still just as confused and hurt as when he first said that it's over. It's been a week now and I'm an utter mess. I'm taking it a day at a time right now and just trying to keep as busy as possible to keep my mind distracted, but in reality I know it's going to be hard for me to get back to my normal self. Being with someone for so long makes you become so dependent on them... almost like you forget who you are on your own. People keep insisting for me not to contact him, but man is it hard. Every time my phone goes off I'm hoping it's him. Every time I get a Facebook notification I'm hoping it's him. Every time I check my voicemail I hope he left me a message... but it never happens. I'm fighting with all my urge not to call and text him but I know that will just make things harder for myself. The first few days right after it happened I texted him like crazy, probably sounding like some desperate fool -- only to have him ignore almost all my messages. I know I need to start trying to move on but it's a lot easier said than done.

As Freud once said, "We are never so vulnerable as when we love," and I would never have realized how true that meant until now.

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]

...I would have, I ALWAYS READ THOSE KINDS OF POSTS.

im too young =/...

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]

lol I hate when that happens, anytime you type a long post like that always remember to 'copy' it before you submit, just in case. If you retype it I will read it.

No because of reasons ._.

[quote=br333][url=http://i.qkme.me/35796k.jpg]^__^[/url]

A lot of people find relationships more fulfilling and enjoying than random encounters. You make it sound like it is bad to be in a relationship. lol[/quote]

It's bad to be in a relationship if you're not prepared and/or ready for commitment. But if you are, then all the power to you, you're right they can be great I was in one for 2 and 1/2 years but I'm not ready for that kind of commitment again, at least right now.

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]
http://www.reddit.com/r/breakups would like to hear about it. I sent this link earlier to a Basiler who was suffering from an old breakup. I think it's a really useful subreddit, assuming you don't know about it. Sorry to waste your time if you do

OT Yes I am. My first and only relationship

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]

There will be another thread for that and I look forward to reading it when the time comes and you choose to type it out.

[quote=zoneflare2]Just dont get caught in any rip currents lol
OT nope no one even peaks my interest[/quote]
I swear you and I had a conversation no more than a few months ago about both of us having to get our girls tampons

I'm with the love of my life right now <3

nope. i'm hella immature.

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]
tease.

@Trashed cliffs pls

No interest in it. No money for it. No time for it. Beyond spending some time with casual smashes and otherwise interesting girls, no can do. On that there studying/research/lifting time.

My hand is all I need

[quote=trashed]I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.[/quote]
I would <3 ...srsly

OT: never have been

I just typed up a long 5 paragraph post about how my long term relationship ended but decided not to post it after all. No one on here would really care to read it, but writing it was sort of a cathartic process that I needed.

yes and he's pretty amazing

[quote=TrueAtheist]Nope, having too much fun with random girls to get tied down in a relationship right now.[/quote]

[url=http://i.qkme.me/35796k.jpg]^__^[/url]

A lot of people find relationships more fulfilling and enjoying than random encounters. You make it sound like it is bad to be in a relationship. lol

I really don't want to be. I'm graduating in a few months.
But there is this chick I'm kind of into and I feel like if I don't at least attempt a relationship, I could potentially be missing out on something great.

Nah, and probably won't try. I've done my share of it, and with half a year to go before I have to go elsewhere, it just isn't worth it.

Nope, having too much fun with random girls to get tied down in a relationship right now.

Yes, the 7th Feb. it has been 4 years since the day we first met and the day we began our relationship xD

No, no I am not.

Well I'm glad you're willing to admit that.