General

Just cheat, get that body count up.

@berserkerking: Honestly your ignorance is showing because of your excessive use of the word retard to describe how my paragraph was typed. What about my paragraph was "retarded"? I've never said that you cheated in the first place. I just said I felt bad for any one who dates you because of your relationship ideas. I can have an opinion of your dishonesty because you say how it's okay as long as you don't have kids. I have every right to judge you because this is the internet and I can. You say how you aren't a troll yet you state, "do you know how large my c**ck is" showing your obvious immaturity which has nothing to do with this conversation whatsoever. Also, I didn't skip the thread at all. I read it and chose not to reply because my opinions on it were already said by someone else. I was clearly reading most of the comments of this thread or I wouldn't have seen yours. You repeatedly state how you think readers is retarded which also adds to your obvious immaturity. You were upset at him because you decided to call him a retard for his own opinion. I could care less about whether or not some one else on this is a troll because some who replied sounded mature while they were expressing their opinions. I actually did have something constructive to add which is what I sent you previously (serving a useful purpose; tending to build up/ The purpose of my paragraph was to explain to you how ignorant you sounded and that @readers way of expressing his opinion wasn't to harm you in any way. You should be thankful he's pointing out the fact that you said cheating was okay so in the future you won't do the same or encourage it in any way). You state, "You never ever tell your girl friend that you cheated, thats just suicide" which also shows your obvious dishonesty so I can form an opinion that your a dishonest person. You also tell @readers that you never said that some one should cheat yet you bluntly state, "you didn't tie the knot with your current gf yet so by all means cheat as much as you can with as many girls as you can." I already said I didn't read the rest of your paragraphs because it sounded immature and I didn't agree with it. There was no point in trying to understand some one who choses to be dishonest and ignorant. There also was no point in trying to understand some one who uses the word "retard" to offend people when they don't get their way.

Men are polygamous and women are monogamous. From the begging of time women wanted to only mate with the top 10% men in society and didn't mind sharing and being in a harem.

But because that would be a troubling structure of civilization, monogamy was made into the norm to accommodate for everyone's needs.

Anyone that tells you otherwise is underaged or a lying kike

@noodlenoodle the minute I read "You sound so ignorant its scary." I laughed before reading the rest of your paragraph and then I laughed even more, everything that I read sounded like a retard typed it.

Do you spy on my everyday life? Have you actually seen me cheat first hand? Do you know how large my c**k is? How could you even have an opinion about my dishonesty in my relationships? Oh thats right, you cant. Just because I don't think cheating is a big deal, cus its not, doesn't mean I have cheated myself. Whoa mind blown!

No one is saying no one cant express their opinions, I kinda already beat you to that fact in the very comment that you liked for some odd reason.

Its pretty obvious that not only did you skip most of my posts, you skipped the whole thread.

You wana claim I'm a troll for having a discussion when you don't even have your own opinion about the subject of this thread. All your saying is "hur dur I no like cheating!"

If it wasn't obvious to you, readers sounded retarders in his first 2 posts because of his way of conveying his opinion, not because of his opinion. I wasn't upset at him, I felt sorry for him not being aware of his retardation. Notice how the conversation continued after that? Oh I forgot you didn't read the thread and you don't even care because you share the same opinion with him. Rest of his posts consisted mostly of questions aimed at our argument, so that claim of yours that readers was pointing out "how dumb I sound", uh yea thats out the window so how could I possibly be upset at him? Also what is this mysterious fact that you claim is in his mind and a lot of other peoples mind's? Whatever it is are you gonna claim that everyone who doesn't have it in their minds are trolls as well?

Sorry to hear that you don't really have anything constructive to add to the conversation other than to accuse me of being a troll.

It's a shame, I hope you reconsider because I would love to make this thread last until the site goes down.

The awkward moment when you realize the person who you called kid is actually older than you.

@berserkerking: You sound so ignorant it's scary. I feel bad for any one who dates you especially because of your relationship dishonesty. You're saying how the internet is too much for him to handle yet you resort to calling him a kid and a retard when your ego is broken. If anything it sounds like the internet is too much for YOU to handle. He's just saying his own opinion because he can and also if he wasn't allowed to express how he feels then I doubt basilmarket would allow him to type up a whole paragraph. "Sex is sex" is the second most ignorant thing I've heard you say. Just because it doesn't mean much to you that doesn't mean it's like that for some one else. I seriously feel bad for you for living with such ignorance. You are getting upset at @readers for pointing out how dumb you sound. Honestly @readers is not pointing it out for a bad reason. He's pointing out that fact to show you how in his mind and a bunch of other people's minds that cheating is not okay. Also that it's good to be honest with your partner. I didn't even read the rest of your paragraph @berserkerking because everything that I read sounded like a troll typed it. I have no reason to because honestly from the moment you said cheating was okay except when you have kids, I had no need to read the rest once I understood how ignorant you were. There's no point to even reading your paragraphs and trying to say my opinions on it because of how uneducated you sound. I doubt you care if I read them or not anyways because your not open to others opinions and chose to attack them when they're preventing you from being an idiot.

people dont like being limited

@upcomingnerd: Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
@berserkerking: Well, we can't assume that a bunch of sex slaves is exactly what @nightshade wants, but yeah, a lot of young guys especially are going to have that issue of not being able to find a girl or to even ask one out. If it were that easy, that problem wouldn't be so common among so many people (and I don't want to single him out for it), although in most cases it's a confidence thing, which is fixable with practice and effort.

@upcomingnerd: Well, the person probably wanted for the affair partner to believe they were in a relationship also, and the affair partner could have been asking for a date. The movie was probably the go-to excuse. They would use the excuse of taking the child. A lot of affair partners don't know they are actually in an affair.

@wellness: lol Why would you go see a movie with someone you're cheating with. Cheating as having 2 girlfriends seems like such stress, 1 gf is enough for that. Cheating should be just for pleasure.

You don't like putting it in 1 girl for the rest of your life, but rather collect an ever-growing harem in which you don't necessarily need to stay with.

Many mammals do that.

Spread your genes and become the next Genghis Khan.

It must be some kind of kink, like having sex at work. Feels good when you gamble on something risky and end with success.

@readers: Random tidbit, but I know someone who was caught cheating with their affair partner at a movie theater. Some relatives of the cheated spouse just so happened to go there at the same time. So yeah, it's easy to get caught.

Theres no other way to explain it other then the fact that someone cheats at all shows that they don't care about the other person and because the other person is the only one who gets hurt its not a big deal. If I get cheated on, I'm the only one whos hurt, its my problem boo hoo lifes not fair move the f**k on. Thats my opinion of it.

When children are thrown in the mix, a cheater no longer hurts just 1 person, they hurt the whole family. Hurting children especially your own children physically or mentally is never ok.

The reason why people don't just break it off with there current girl friends when they cheat is because at the end of the day, sex is sex (and possibly countless other benefits as well depending on the situation). If you break up with your girl you can no longer use her holes. Its that simple.

I'm not saying that sex is a hard to come by commodity but I'm sure its not hard for you to imagine that people who do believe it is exist. Take that nightshade guy who started the I hate my life thread as an example, that guy would love to have a girl of his own and he probably day dreams of his own harem of sex slaves. Guys like that assuming they have any half decent game at all, can and will juggle 2 or 3 girls at a time but are not limited to 2 or 3.

The players straight up don't give a f**k, they will sleep with who ever they can because they can, and the best players are even open about it and pull off threesomes like there nothing. unless your a queer bag, a strict religious white knight, or you have already found someone who you think is the one, You want to be like the player.

@berserkerking: OK, but I was hoping for more than just a restatement of the first post. I wanted some more clarification, or more explanation on your justification (apologies if that question was not clear, although that was why I tried to phrase it with the previous question). Otherwise, this will continue to remain a circling back-and-forth argument. I was very clear the first time around, so I will repeat again:

"I ... am still confused by your justification on why it's OK to cheat when not married and with kids. You still haven't really explained to me properly why it's OK to do this, but not when you're married with kids. To me, I just saw those two things as being in conflict - unless you want to describe to me how you would define the difference between those two situations? Is marriage that big of a difference-maker to you, and if so why?"

To me, IMO, if I didn't care about the person, I'd just break up with them and find someone else, I'm not going to cheat on them. That talk will sometimes be hard, but worth it. I don't see the reason for being in the relationship anyway, plus it avoids any potential complications that could result later on.

@upcomingnerd: I mean, I don't know if I would ever go that far as to hire a PI, so I have no idea about that lol.

Yeah I'm not the type who wants to be sniffing out some kind of "proof" that they're actually cheating like many others. I would not want to have so many things on my mind. I wouldn't say it's akin to cheating, but that kind of paranoia will be a burden on the relationship itself, without question. But if you really wanted to find out, the ways I've suggested are some of those ways that people figure it out.

@readers: Hmm, if someone hired a PI to me that is cheating in itself. Which makes it fair game. There is barely any trust in relationships these days anyway. If you're doing any of the above you mentioned or anything else because of a hunch, to me that's on the same level as cheating. A breach of trust is still a breach. For instance if your girl looks over at your phone when someone calls/texts, it really isn't her business but so many girlfriends do it. To me there is no difference between that and sleeping with someone else.

my very first post actually summed it up nicely ill repeat what i said in my first post

The only time its wrong to cheat is if you are married with at least 1 child, because now a third person is effected besides the two.
My justification for cheating is simple, you didn't care enough about the person in the first place so you found something new, sure that other person may be hurt if or when they find out but so what?

Obviously if you are married with children, more people than just the one you cheat on are going to be effected. Those other people I'm talking about, are your own children. You'd be failing them as a parent and no matter what anyone says or does, failing as a parent is the worst possible thing anyone can do. I don't care if your a convicted cannibalistic murdering rapist, you do not under any circumstances f**k up raising your children.

How the hell does anyone ever expect this full circle of disgust and hate to ever end if we all keep screwing with our youth?
. I totally understand why cheating would be a deal breaker to you and probably most others. Had I been cheated on be any other girl Ive been in a relationship with it would have been a deal breaker for me as well. This girl was just different from the rest, I really believed this girl was special and I really thought I was gonna propose to her. She lost my trust so proposal is off the table for now, but that doesn't mean I cant still user her for what shes worth.

Honestly impressed shes lasted this long with the way Ive been treating her, if she really really wants me and shes really really sorry, shes gonna have keep being my dumpster until I grow tired of her. maybe ill forgive her and grant her her wish, maybe I wont.

@berserkerking: I guess I was, and am still confused by your justification on why it's OK to cheat when not married and with kids. You still haven't really explained to me properly why it's OK to do this, but not when you're married with kids. To me, I just saw those two things as being in conflict - unless you want to describe to me how you would define the difference between those two situations? Is marriage that big of a difference-maker to you, and if so why?

Or I can also rephrase the question in a different way; what is your justification on cheating? Why do you think it's OK to do it in the scenarios you just described? I am actually curious about this - no judgments involved, I just want to hear what you have to say.

I personally think it's nice to be forgiving, although I personally see it as a deal-breaker when this sort of thing happens. They broke my trust one time; maybe I can forgive them, but I don't think the act itself can be forgiven. (I also see it in the same vein as friendships - I would not be friends with somebody who broke my trust, or who decided to back-stab me a certain way.) This is one of those reasons why cheating affects others who may be innocent in the matter. IMO, it is kind of a big deal for that reason - else I would not be talking to you about it, and I disagree with others who don't think it's a big deal for some of the other reasons I have already outlined. You yourself were personally affected by this as you've said, so something about it has to bother you too, doesn't it?

@readers Its ok to cheat as long as your not married with kids.
you said "Now imagine that your spouse finds out in one of those ways, but this time when you've already had children - and that just conflicts with what you've said"
First half of this sentence you are asking wat do. I've already stated wat do, and you claim what your saying conflicts with what I'm saying but thats wrong because what I'm saying is not conflictable.

You are not married? cheat away. You are married but no kids? cheat away but you should be ashamed of your self. You are married and have kids? you should not be cheating.

Hence its ok to cheat as long as your not married with kids. Theres no conflict here, its plain simple.

meant to reply to your question earlier.
"How would you feel if your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse had actually cheated on you? This is without factoring in children. If you feel terrible about it, why would you be OK with doing it to others, but not to yourself"

I believe I fall into that category of one who is more forgiving. I'm speaking from experience with my current relationship. Granted I've only been cheated on once so forgive me if my frame of reference isn't enough to answer your question. Understand that situation dictates. Some cases of cheating could be taken and handled differently for a number of different reasons.

Not only did she cheat, but she straight up lied about being raped the morning after. I dropped her immediately and then the top tier begging for forgiveness and countless suicide threats began. I didn't say a word to her for a week, the only reason I broke the silence in the first place was because a I had some time to think about the situation and weigh the relationship we had as a whole before she sucked his d**k. She obviously regretted what she had done because she didn't keep her mouth shut about it and unless I'm delusional(probably am because she cheated in the first place) she cared so much about what we had that she just had to lie and claim rape to seem like a victim to salvage the relationship.

She could have kept her mouth shut and not said anything and I would have had no idea what she had done and no possible way to ever learn of her treachery. I wish she would have because I was sure she was the one. I didn't ever say "I forgive you", I called her out for what she did and called her a s**t. Our relationship now is more or less me holding the fact she cheated on me over her head, disrespecting her constantly for it, and using her as my personal cum dumpster. Its been over 9 months since she cheated on me and id say we are doing fantastic.

We are not married and do not have kids. If we were married and did have kids and she did cheat, I would have killed her.

If things were reversed, I wouldn't have said a word to her especially if we were married with kids.

Thats just me personally, I'm not saying anyone should cheat or murder their spouse for cheating, I'm only saying cheating when married with kids is not ok.

Theres all kinds of people out there, some don't cheat at all, some always cheat. Some don't actually cheat themselves but understand that cheating isn't a big deal.
And its on you to make what your trying to say clear, personally I didn't have a problem understanding anything you said, I've only replied to what was relevant.

@upcomingnerd: Some general ways you can find out, to mostly repeat my rather lengthy paragraph about it:

- You walk in on the act (generally how most people find out)
- Someone you know who both know you and your SO very well tells you so (although that may not generally mean much, unless you really suspect that it could be the case and/or you confront your SO about it afterwards and they admit to it)
- You make a screw up and the worlds of one girl/guy you're dating do collide with the other (so basically you accidentally walk into a situation with one girl/guy that the other girl/guy happens to also be in - chance encounter)
- Something like the Ashley Madison leak happens as I've said
- Some people will hire a private investigator

There are other things as well, though they're generally more suspicions than something definitive (like your SO telling you they're at one place that you yourself are also at, but they're not there and they may be somewhere else)) - but they can give you some indications. I generally don't think it's healthy to always keep suspecting that your SO is cheating, however - it's really only when the signs are much more certain, like in the cases I've described above.

When all these possibilities are outlined, the chances become much higher and easier to find out. Someone is bound to make some sort of screw-up, because we're human beings. Other people will come in and they will also affect your life and your relationship in many different ways. In fact, the possibilities are endless. For example, nobody suspected that the Ashley Madison leak would happen until it actually did. This is how I reason it, and this is why I generally don't think it's worth it - if you're only just looking at the potential consequences that could come about from it. (This is disregarding those who actually internalize the belief and truly value in and of itself that it's wrong to cheat on others - but that's a different subject.)

The thing that most people don't focus on, though, is not trying to find "proof" that they're cheating, but what should happen next after they do find out they're cheating. Whether or not you still want to live together, or share bills, or share certain responsibilities (like taking care of the kids if you have any, or anything else).

By the way, don't take anything I say as an attack on you. They're mostly just opinions, or other things/perspectives that may help you. The other stuff I've said is mostly directed towards the other, who decided to for whatever reason make this some personal thing.

@readers: lol How is it easy to find out if someone is cheating? Curious.

@berserkerking: OK, what was your point again?

The question I was mentioning in one of my previous posts: "How would you feel if your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse had actually cheated on you? This is without factoring in children. If you feel terrible about it, why would you be OK with doing it to others, but not to yourself?" YOU misinterpreted this by stating that I asked: "wat do if spouse finds out you cheated when you already have kids", which I did not say.

I am not losing my mind. Yes, this is a section dedicated to discourse of agreements and disagreements and nothing more. You, however, decided to go one step further and call me a retard and decided to bring your emotions and feelings into this. So please, out of all this, speak for yourself. Your insecurity is showing.

"Based on your three posts however, I can for sure say that you have a massive problem reading between lines, twisting words that other people say to mean what you want them to mean, and putting words in other peoples mouths. That's a recipe for lack of intellect and immaturity in general." Speak for yourself. If you didn't act all emotional and stupid and so defensive, maybe you'd actually re-read what I was actually trying to say and understand what I was getting at.

so your not denying your retardation.

The subject at hand here isnt what kind of person I am so think what ever you wana think about me.

did you really just say "that wasn't the question I asked"? what question are you talking about? The one that op asked? Is op one of your alternate accounts? so this whole time you've been same f*gging. well now I and anyone else who reads this thread knows that you run multiple basil accounts for the purpose of trolling the few posters left.

Oh I better add in that I'm being sarcastic when I say you use multiple accounts because you might actually argue that you don't in your next post

Whos accusing you of misinterpretation? you straight up admitted you misinterpreted what I said.

No one ever said you couldn't express your sympathies and opinions, I think thats the whole purpose of the chat section of this forum. Which believe it or not posters happen to have a varied amount of different view points. I stated mine, you disagreed with it and I made a rebuttal to your disagreement and now your losing your mind.

I stated "Maybe you play Maplestory a bit to much?" Key word "Maybe". I'm not saying you for sure play Maplestory to much like you are accusing me of saying.

Based on your three posts however, I can for sure say that you have a massive problem reading between lines, twisting words that other people say to mean what you want them to mean, and putting words in other peoples mouths. Thats a recipe for lack of intellect and immaturity in general.

Lurk moar and stop posting kid, the internet is way to much for you to handle.

Tl;dr: Whoa! Apparently you know ex-cons and rich kids and sketchy crack dealers with multiple girlfriends! Ohhhh damn we got a badass over here! I can't even tell if you're trolling at this point.

@berserkerking: So you care about the children when they're married, but don't care about the children when they're not married. Got it. You make the point about caring for children in your first post and being a parent so you shouldn't cheat, but apparently that doesn't apply when you're not married. You might as well be a hypocrite. I don't understand what the difference is besides the marriage aspect, but whatever, apparently I am retarded, yes.

All I've gathered from your posts are that you're one selfish, arrogant, self-interested individual with no regard for other people. Absolute assholery. Assuming that I have a lack of social experience (as you 'assume' - accusing me of assumptions, but hey look at you), at least in that case I wouldn't need to meet and be taken advantage of by scumbags and dirt like you.

That wasn't the question that I asked. Read again. Actually, wait, maybe don't, you've already skipped over a good bulk of the stuff that I was talking about in my post. Since you accuse me of misinterpretation, I advise you to also not misinterpret me.

Well obviously people have their own lives that I don't really care about. But I can express my sympathies towards those who manage to become affected by people like you, who for some reason are okay with cheating on others. Those are the people I would be concerned about, not people like you.

Sure, I play MapleStory WAY too much. In fact, I dare you to try to stalk me and find me in-game. My character names are listed in my profile.

Be careful, you're sounding a lot like @xdarkshynobi. You never ever go full @xdarkshynobi.

tl/dr change your user name to retarders because I'm convinced that your retarded.

@readers I don't think you did read his post, if you did then you clearly didn't comprehend what his post even said. I'll spell it out for you, he summarized his situation and asked the question "what is wrong with me?" You come in and say "thats your problem". wut? that doesn't even make sense.

His problem is that hes wondering if anything is wrong with him. you just saying "thats your problem" not only doesn't answer his question but also doesn't contribute to any conversation at all and to top it off it makes you look retarded.

Right at the start of your first paragraph you confirm your retardation by stating that you misinterpreted what I meant when it was crystal clear what I meant. You also go on to correlate my point about not cheating with children to cheating when you have no children for the 3nd time in this thread. so for the 4th time I'm gonna restate my point, its ok to cheat as long as your not married with children. Maybe that will sink in this time but at this point I highly doubt it.

Your 2nd paragraph was even worse, literally assumptions on top of assumptions.
You state and I quote : "You have to keep up appearances for all of them by trying to ensure that you're a faithful human being and you don't want one world with another person to collide with another world with another person you're dating"
First of all, if you have more than 1 girl friend, unless you tell both or all of them about all of your girl friends your not being faithful right there. Thats a contradiction. Your also making the assumption that one would have to keep up appearances with every girl and not only is that completely false, but shows your lack of social experience. Maybe you play Maplestory a bit to much?
Forget about the possibilities for fk buddies and one night stands for a second, but its very possible and doable to manage your time with ten or more girls. From rich kids who don't need a job to even poor dudes who regularly get their hands on crack, people can and do manage their lives while maintaining multiple girlfriends. St I know an ex con who had 4 different girls visit him while he was inside, no drugs involved, maybe.

To answer your side note, the sky is the limit. your assuming it takes effort but managing a list of phone numbers, facebooks, instagrams, s**t even myspaces back in the day could very well come natural for some players. Look at all these millennials now a days, this is practically all they do for a living.

Your also assuming what one would have to do once they pick 1 girl out of the many and thats actually a very simple thing to do, its called the cold shoulder. Theres countless other things one could do in that situation but the cold shoulder takes the least amount of effort.

The rest of paragraph 2 were pointless examples of what a mad ex or spouse could do and honestly I couldn't give two f**ks if she did a back flip into a rocket ship that flew off to the moon.

At the start of paragraph 3 you state : "It's almost impossible to keep up that facade when the risks are too high in the ways I've suggested"
Key words being "risks are too high in the ways I've suggested". Yea the ways you suggested are retarded no s**t.

Your asking wat do if spouse finds out you cheated when you already have kids, the answers are either work it out or get a divorce duuuuuuuuuuuh. The kids are already screwed in that scenario but if a cheater was interested in a last ditch effort to save their kids mentalities they would cover up the fact they cheated. which is what happens in roughly 60% of the cases. This also absolutely does not conflict with what I've said numerous times already and ill say it one more time in this post, its ok to cheat as long as your not married with kids.

As for your better case scenario, thats only a better case for you. Other people have other ways of doing what they do and living life they way they live it, just in case that wasn't obvious to you.

Feel free to keep this argument up, I have no problem going back and fourth with it until Mr Basil forgets to pay his Godaddy bill.

It's human nature to always want more, but sometimes it's better to be thankful for what you already have in life. The desire of nothing more can give a person a feeling almost of nirvana, in harmony with the world around them, if they so choose to reflect upon their fortunes rather than misfortunes. It all depends on whether one views the glass as half empty, or half full.

@readers: lmao this niqqa thinkin he bouta drop sum hot essay 4 his social studies class rite here expectin dat a+
lemme tell u somethin man aint nobody gon keep readin yo online rants, aint nobody got time 4 dat, iunno wat u tryna prove ova a buncha dudes on da internet but man yall needa get a life lol
it aint complicated man

@berserkerking: Long incoming post. Tl;dr: what you're suggesting won't work and can't work.

I did read his post. Still his problem. Others don't cheat but he does. He has to figure that out. I had previously given him advice on a different thread of his that could help him with that.

OK, so maybe I wasn't clear and misinterpreted and you're not suggesting that one should always cheat. From your posts you obviously don't value honesty and openness in a relationship, but whatever. It's interesting to me that you value the children, yet have no respect for the spouse/significant other using the same morals and logic, nor do you grasp how the decisions that affect the spouse could affect the children regardless of if you haven't had children yet at that moment. It's very simple how that can affect them: if you don't love your spouse (which you didn't, because you still cheated on them, what turning point would that be to just suddenly "love" them again), and if you're lying, what kind of message does that send? How can you care for them if you're not going to send the right message to them? Perhaps your children are going to follow your example and also do the same thing and lie to others while maintaining that facade of honesty. If that's the case, I would hate to be the spouse who tries to be honest (those people do exist, for the record) only to find out that they were cheated on. And in fact, it's easy to find out, regardless of whether or not you say it:

So you hook up with one girl, and then because that's not enough, you hook up with another, and then maybe another. You have to keep up appearances for all of them by trying to ensure that you're a faithful human being and you don't want one world with another person to collide with another world with another person you're dating (side-note: why the hell would you put in this much effort when there are better things to do and when you could just have one person to be faithful to since it's so straightforward and easy, I don't know, but let's roll with it). You decide on one and then you try to break up with the rest. Of course, you have to fake some reason for doing so. One or some of them are not going to take it well. Ever heard about that crazy ex who might try to ruin your life, including that of the spouse that you've now chosen? That's quite a common thing. Anybody else who may be aware that you once dated one of them may also be aware that you've dated or married another (your ex's friends, your spouse's friends, acquaintances of yours or your ex or your spouse, etc. That unlucky but chance encounter with someone who knows you've dated one person, but then not too much later on sees that you're dating another, and who will start to question your motives regardless of how you're spinning it to them). Maybe there's some reporting for TV going on, and - oops, you and this other girl happens to be walking by the camera for the other girl(s) you're dating to see. Maybe you used some dating website like Ashley Madison in the past, which caters towards cheating on others, and - oh wait, your personal information just got leaked - remember that leak a couple years ago? Also, your spouse could hire a private investigator to try to sniff out your history or whatever unfaithful actions you may be doing at the moment. Someone you're dating may get suspicious about your behavior, since it seems like you're sectioning off some portion of your life away from her (keeping her away from your friends, your family perhaps, etc., since you don't want them to know about this other relationship you're having), and will try to do her own research - maybe post the details online for everyone to see. I could go on and on about the scenarios that could happen, but the point is this:

It's almost impossible to keep up that facade when the risks are too high in the ways I've suggested and when there's too much effort involved in trying to keep this all up. You're taking a gambler's chance at all these things - and those are not very high odds when all of this is combined, mind you. I didn't bring up the children when I laid this out. Now imagine that your spouse finds out in one of those ways, but this time when you've already had children - and that just conflicts with what you've said. That's why I said that what you're suggesting is eating your cake and having it, which you can't do. It's a popular figure of speech that many people use, which you can look up if you want to find out more about it.

I will ask you a question: How would you feel if your girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse had actually cheated on you? This is without factoring in children. If you feel terrible about it, why would you be OK with doing it to others, but not to yourself?

I highlighted "work", because it's not like people "play" at relationships. They take time and effort to get them right. I agree with you on the point that it does include breaking it up if it doesn't work out, which people sometimes don't do even when a relationship is on the rocks, unfortunately.

Here's a better case scenario that others do and doesn't cause any problems and you're better off advocating for: short-term relationships where both parties don't try to catch feelings for each other. One night stands, short-term hookups where people both know what they're in for without committing to some relationship, etc. Sometimes these things can lead to something long-term, although it's dicey to say it's "cheating" if both parties were both in it for some other purpose initially.

@readers did you even read his post? he clearly said and I quote "I can't help but flirt with other girls and want to cheat"

A man keeps his options open until he knows 100% when to settle down with the right woman weather he cheated on her in the past or not. It's never to late because unless your a moron you wouldn't tell her you cheated on her, or if she did find out and didn't forgive you for it, (not that you would deserve forgiveness)she clearly wasn't meant to be your soul mate anyway.

Your words : "there's a reason why people "work" on relationships, or why people try to make it "work""

That Reason you failed to mention : The scenario where one finds out the other cheated and doesn't just get out of the relationship right then and there.

Your saying that Ive said that one SHOULD always cheat, I never said that. Ive only said that cheating is ok except when you are married with children.

I bring up the don't cheat when you have kids point because children change (or are supposed to change) everything. Everything a good parent does is for the benefit of their children not themselves which includes having self control and being monogamous.

As for the having your cake and eating it to comment, thats such a silly thing to say. If your not married with kids you can cheat all you want and its ok, but people sometimes don't anyway.
Your not supposed to cheat when your married with kids, but people sometimes still do anyway.
Its a pretty simple concept to grasp.

I would pick more on your ideas but the bulk of your post was 1 vague sentence and a paragraph that does a poor job at recapping the idea of my previous post.

That's really your problem, there's a reason why people "work" on relationships, or why people try to make it "work".

@berserkerking: So you're basically advocating for not committing to anything, since you're saying that one should cheat at all times and lie to their significant others and thus so long as they have no children they are fine. Because one should always cheat until they find that "special someone" they are 100% certain about, whatever the hell that means - maybe that "special someone" is someone you didn't know was "the one" at the time until after you cheated on them - and whoops, it's now too late, but that's what happens when you're unwilling to commit to the relationship itself; that's why you didn't know. And yet you also say that it's important that we care for the children and why cheating is bad for them and why monogamy in this case is so important, even though you say that monogamy isn't in our DNA.

These statements you made are in conflict with the others you've also made. It's only one or the other. You can't have your own cake and eat it too. Which one are you?

the problems we men got with women
it aint no bad thing, like the above said its in our blood. women dont understand wat its like for us
this is true wen u get older and they keep on keepin the same age u kno wat i mean

Theres nothing wrong with you, humans are not meant to be monogamous. you didn't tie the knot with your current gf yet so by all means cheat as much as you can with as many girls as you can. Your main purpose in life is to spread your seed everywhere.

The only time its wrong to cheat is if you are married with at least 1 child, because now a third person is effected besides the two.
>spouse cheats
>other spouse finds out and flips s**t
>child has to grow up with a f*****d up outlook on both life and love and thats a god damn shame

Its the children that no one ever gives a flying fk about and its the parents who are both selfish and wrong even if they weren't the ones who cheated. This st has to stop.

Also don't listen to any nonsense chema is trying to feed to you his post is completely wrong on all points.

You never ever tell your girl friend that you cheated, thats just suicide. One thing for sure is you aint no Neil Strauss, you cant just get another gf when ever you feel like.

Unless you are absolutely 100% sure that this is the girl you wana spend the rest of your life with which quite frankly if your not at least 24 years old and done with school and have an established career you shouldn't take that step, lying to her is the best thing you can do in this situation because you benefit from having more than 3 holes to use.

If your getting tired of the b*h thats a little different. Still breaking it off completely is a big no no. Never break it off with a girl, let her do the break up, let her figure out that your a piece of st. just make a little less time for her and spend more time with the girl your currently flirting with. Girls love a man thats already taken, they just have to know what it is in you that that other hoe sees in you, your like a forbidden fruit to them. St Ive even told a girl I had a gf once when I was single, if it works for you great. At the end of the day you can still fk both of them.

tl/dr f**k both of them, even in a threesome if possible.

You must be a "risk taker"
It is in your genes and there is not much you can do about it besides train your will power and struggle your whole life

It is best to talk this over with your S.O. and reach an agreement or even break up if necessary

The worst thing you can do is keeping this to yourself and, should infatuation get the best of you, lie to her because "that would hurt her"

It goes without saying you better research all about STDs, condoms, non penetrative sex and all that jazz