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Why do people stay in terrible relationships?

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fadedglory Level 120 Windia Night Lord
I am currently living in a house and there's this couple who's renting another room. It seems like there's not a week that goes by where they don't fight at least once. The girl seems to have some anger issues and say terrible things to the guy when she's mad. Like screaming that he's ugly or a piece of trash. She throws stuff around the house too. The guy seems much more rational and calm minded. He just stays quiet.

Why do people choose to stay in those relationships? Why bother wasting time for someone who obviously sees you as a subhuman being whenever they are angry? If you truly love or value someone as a partner, you wouldn't say those terrible things when you are angry. And even if they don't truly mean what they say, I have no idea why you would be wanna around someone who goes crazy whenever they are ticked off. You wouldn't wanna be a friend with that person, so why be in a relationship with her/him?
Posted: June 2017 Permalink


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readers Level 131 Scania Beginner See what games, anime & art readers is intoReaders
Probably because you wouldn't know psychologically what being in an abusive relationship is like unless you were in the shoes of the victim. It's a kind of learned helplessness in that the worst types of relationships involve isolating the victim and manipulating them to believe there isn't any other way out, or any other option.

Also for the man especially, people will think differently of him when he tries to seek help. The tendency is to think that the man is doing the abusing and are not the victims/recipients of abuse. They may not be taken as seriously on that end. Of course, for the woman it's a lot different. Even then, depending on the severity, in both cases there is the possibility that trying to leave such a relationship may devolve into something worse - possibly a fear for your life, or there will be many things you'll have to leave behind in the process. You certainly hear the worst of those cases every once in a while on the news.
Jun 28 2017
audio Level 21 Yellonde Blade Recruit See what games, anime & art audio is intoaudio
^ this

i can speak from experience: my most recent relationship was with a girl who had really severe bipolar disorder and suicidal tendencies. she would physically abuse me a lot, especially when i tried to stop her from harming herself. i knew that if i ever tried to break up with her she would without hesitation attempt suicide and i couldn't deal with that on my conscience, so i just had to keep stuff to myself and give her the cold shoulder until eventually she cheated on me and confessed to it the day after - happiest day of my life.
being literally the only guy i knew who had experienced abuse in a relationship with a woman made it all the more difficult to deal with at the time, but in hindsight i think i made the right decision. even though it really messed me up psychologically i would never wish harm on her because i know she wasn't doing it on purpose, and there were parts of her i still really liked, parts of the relationship which i really cherished.
tldr it's impossible to make judgements about another person's situation, it's always more complicated than you think
Jun 28 2017
upcomingnerd Level 102 Scania Beast Tamer Shared
Stupidity probably. Life is too short to put up with a terrible relationship.
Jun 28 2017
curesword Level 222 Scania Shadower Justaway Guild
I guess either the victim believes the relationship will work in the end despite being constantly abused or thinks the abuser will do something bad if they left.
Jun 28 2017
zoglinemusic Level 56 Khaini Dark Knight
hope she's at least good in the bedroom
Jun 29 2017
fradddd Level 170 Windia Hero
cause they're dumb
Jul 01 2017
hmongshaman Level 184 Bera Shadower
Or maybe he can't see her bad side because he loves her but what do I know i have never been in a true loving relationship
Jul 01 2017
berserkerking Level 219 Mardia Hero
your saying the guy is the calm and collected one and the female is the abusive one? Thats a joke.
Assuming your not joking, the guys sticking around because hes able to keep sticking it to her duh.
Jul 01 2017
lightxtc Level 125 Windia I/L Arch Mage
I had a friend who had family problems. His mother was a lazy beach who never worked and had serious psychotic issues. His father worked desperately hard to feed the family of four and pay the bills, but the mother was never happy. My friend, his brother, and his dad all suffered from lots of abusive yelling and anger from the mother, it would go on and off periodically. I always wondered why the father didn't divorce the mother and take custody of the kids. I asked my friend that question and he told me that his dad took pity on the mother even though he no longer loved her and that if he tried a divorce the situation would only get worse as divorce laws were heavily stacked against men.

Moral of the story is: don't put your d in crazy because you'll be trapped in a situation similar to what my friend experienced.
Jul 02 2017
upcomingnerd Level 102 Scania Beast Tamer Shared
My cousin just got murdered by her abusive husband. Still seems unreal.
Jul 02 2017
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