Novelist: Dear ________,

I still like you, despite your odd quirks that others might seem quite out of the norm. I don't even care about the problems you're having or going through. Half of me sees or thinks of you in everything I see or listen to. The other half just tells me to give up because I know it's stupid to even try to fathom you liking me back, let alone anything happening. I've been wanting to talk to you about it, just to see what your thoughts on it were, for the last couple of weeks, but you've had so much going on, that I just sit patiently and listening intently to everything you have to say. It's not that I dislike that, but I'd like to be able to ask my question without seeming rude for thinking of myself and what's on my mind for just a brief moment for you to answer the question. Still, I have yet to ask, and I doubt I'll get the chance to ask anytime soon. Despite your constant busyness, I still won't let myself give up. Usually I would feel ignored and forgotten by now, but time doesn't seem to have a time when waiting for you. That seems really stupid and I probably shouldn't be waiting for anyone (though I don't even know if I'm waiting or not, since it's not like you know I'm waiting...), but for whatever reason things seem a little different with you. That probably seems like a broken record coming from me or anyone for that matter, to say, "You're different/special/etc." It sounds like something to get into someone's pants or to even just make a move, but I honestly think things are different this time. In the past I've given up by now. Hell, I've even told myself not to wait around for you, but something tells me I'm not waiting for you, because it doesn't feel like it. It's just weird. I don't count the days since we talked, until for whatever reason, it comes to mind. They're all blurs in the grand scheme of things, because all my days are just melting together. Everyday, though, I can't wait to see if I can talk to you. If I can't, I get a little disappointed, but I don't let it ruin my day -- other things do that for me -- and if I do get to talk to you, well then that makes my day.

I know this all sounds like it's coming off way too strong and way too soon, if you were ever to read this and know it was about you, but I'm really not trying to be that way. I've held back so many comments, because I don't want to look like an idiot or come off clingy or seem like I'm trying to make unwanted gestures. I like you, I really do, but I mentally I'm telling myself not to rush into things or to say stupid things that might blow any chance I may or may not have. What I want mentally is different from how I express my emotions. I can be rather strong worded and my emotions seem extremely strong and over the top, but they're really not that bad. I just have a way with words that make it seem as if they're overzealous. I hope that makes sense. I'm not saying my emotions are lacking, either, but they should be acceptable...just how I express them makes them come off more than they should be...

Moving on...I should tell you that there's a lot of things I've wanted to say about you that just...blow my mind. I can't even fathom how awesome it makes you. I doubt I could or should ever tell you most of these things myself, because both you and my friends would think that's too much to be saying this soon. I think so too, maybe. I'm not sure. I just know I've observed so much in the last couple of months that...it just makes you seem so amazing. I don't even know where to start. Your uncanny knowledge of poker? Or how about your seeming appreciation of football, among other sports? How about the fact that you seem so driven and strong, even after everything you've been through? Even though you seem so strong, I've been wanting to just...be there for you, so you can have your moment to feel weak, but protected. I know I can't really do that though, nor do I think you'll let me. See? Even this seems like it's too much to say right now. I'm coming off way too strong, even though I have no idea if you'll ever read this. Just thinking about this seems like I'm coming off too strong. I'm not trying to be, though, it's just what I've noticed and appreciated so much about you. There's just so many things about you, though, and I seem to find something new to like or appreciate about you everyday. On top of all the great things that make up your personality, you're gorgeous. I don't know how often you get complimented, many times I'm sure, and I don't think I've ever outright said it, but I think you're quite beautiful. I think the only reason I haven't said all these things to you is because I know these kinds of things can make it awkward for you and you get all quiet. I find that cute, by the way. It'd be quite adorable to see you get all awkward and shy and quiet every time I make a sweet/romantic/cheesy remark, which I seem to do quite often I think - or at least I want to.

All in all, I know you probably won't read this. If you do, I doubt you'll know it's about you. If you do know it's about you, well, then, I don't know. Maybe it'll do something for me. Hopefully it won't hurt me, though. Who knows, right? I can't read your mind. I know I'm probably coming off as a giant sap though. So much for having that male image going for me. Although I think you could probably see through me trying to fake that all along anyways. I hope we can talk again soon. I miss our conversations.

- Jeff

P.S. I was going to say "Love, Jeff", but I didn't want to come off too strong, and I didn't know what else to say. Don't take it the wrong way that I didn't write anything there. I didn't want to be cliche and formal with another "sincerely", and I didn't want to come off the wrong. So that's why it's just my name. (Okay see, here I am rambling when I'm nervous. Didn't I tell you I do this? )