leprickon said: "This letter contains some tough news. It's not pleasant to hear, but it's very important, and it's part of telling the truth. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: Mr. Basil's speeches leave the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that Mr. Basil accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Mr. Basil. Only a die-hard liar like Mr. Basil could claim that we ought to worship pathological pests as folk heroes. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that he is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when the worst sorts of balmy clodpolls there are hand over the country to shrewish, asinine ninnies. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that stoicism is a wonderful thing. And fear of untoward dips like Mr. Basil who put a shameless spin on important issues.

So, what am I doing about that? I'm educating. I'm trying to reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. One could truthfully say that blackguardism is a weapon of Pyrrhonism. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by him and his devotees. And just let him try and stop me.

Mr. Basil ought to unstop his ears and uncover his eyes. Only then will he hear that to which he has been too long heedless. Only then will Mr. Basil see that we have a number of problems for which he bears most of the responsibility. That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that if you've read this far then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.

As my mother used to tell me, "The online disinhibition effect perfectly explains why Mr. Basil's so keen to tell everyone that sin is good for the soul." To oppose factionalism, we must oppose revisionism. To oppose tribalism, we must oppose irrationalism. And to oppose Mr. Basil, we must oppose foul-mouthed trolls.

Everywhere he's gone, Mr. Basil has tried to offer hatred with an intellectual gloss. It can happen here, too. It is apparent to me that he demands that we make a choice. Either we let him use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to skewer me over a pit barbecue or he'll throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that Mr. Basil's plan is to fund a vast web of heinous spouters, destructive ratbags, and sinful common blood-stained criminals. Mr. Basil's subalterns are moving at a frightening pace toward the total implementation of that agenda, which includes making my blood curdle. Maybe before the year is over, Mr. Basil will clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. Caustic predictions aside, this would not be an impossible scenario if his ostentatious revenge fantasies were to gain ascendancy in our society.

When I'm through with Mr. Basil he'll think twice before attempting to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function. I cannot compromise with him; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him and with a warning he must certainly take to heart: Maoism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's Mr. Basil's favorite; it makes it easy for him to treat people like primitive criticasters.

Perhaps Mr. Basil writes really long and boring letters, but remember that if they could speak, the birds, snakes, and other creatures who are our Earth brothers and Earth sisters would surely say that he plans to judge people based solely on hearsay. He has instructed his chums not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Mr. Basil knows he has something to hide. He says that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. My point may be made clearer by use of an allegorical tale. Suppose a hypothetical group of three people is standing in a room. One of those people realizes that a common thread runs through most of Mr. Basil's accusations, a thread so moonstruck that it disgusts me nearly to the point of physical illness. Another goes on and on about Mr. Basil's jackbooted, jejune nostrums. But the third can't understand why profligate louts have an insatiable appetite for Mr. Basil's dulcet but narrow-minded piffle. In this hypothetical situation, it should be obvious that mean-spirited energumens remake the world to suit Mr. Basil's own nit-picky needs. That said, we mustn't lose sight of who the real enemy is: Basil and his vile, apolaustic co-conspirators.

Mr. Basil used to complain about being persecuted. Now he is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that I shall not argue that Mr. Basil's newsgroup postings are an authentic map of his plan to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. Read them and see for yourself.

This march into lamebrained misoneism is not happening by mere chance. It is not, as many oleaginous election-year also-rans insist, the result of the natural, inevitable course of things. It is happening as a direct result of Mr. Basil's morally repugnant apologues. I've managed to come up with a way in which Mr. Basil's essays could be made useful. His essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that Mr. Basil has come up with proven methods to threaten our core values, allegiances, and beliefs. All you have to do is let your guard down.

Believe it or not, Mr. Basil's ballyhoos have kept us separated for too long from the love, contributions, and challenges of our brothers and sisters in this wonderful adventure we share together -- life! Must it be explained to Mr. Basil that my aim is to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community? Because he obviously doesn't realize that he says that he needs a little more time to clean up his act. As far as I'm concerned, his time has run out. When you reflect upon this, you'll realize that time cannot change his behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Mr. Basil can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, distract attention from more important issues. In closing, although this letter has been lengthy there are still a large number of comments about Mr. Basil that I have had to leave aside. I didn't even begin to mention, for instance, that he drools at the thought of swilling port and sherry at taxpayer expense. Anyway, the important point is that Mr. Basil upholds sin as sacred."

mikelea said: "^^^^^the downfall of basil^^^^^"