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In response to KayleyAnne's guide to men I felt that it was necessary to create a list of various types of women and their characteristics. Boys boys boys An Indepth Look at the Y chromosome Before we begin, I would like to note that women are impossible to completely understand, even for other women. The best we can do is to reach a vague idea of how the different types of women will behave and what their motivations for doing so are. Co-authored by Brian/Keeffer/Bubjub45 (same person) We will start with a fairly common breed of women - The Princess. The Princess wants, no, feels entitled to everything, but only if it costs a lot of money. She demands your full attention at all times, and stop at nothing to obtain it. She will often have several men at their beck and call, "whipped." She honestly believes that seeking her attention should be the life goal of every person. She is best matched with a spineless worm, someone who is too enthralled with her to stand up for himself, and a jock (at the same time - one for business, one for fun). Usually has wasp-like features. Warning - there is a reason for the existence of the term "Royal ____" The Girl Next Door. In stark contrast to the Princess, The Girl Next Door is sweet, funny, "innocent," and cute. She is the best friend that means so much more, the one you grew up playing doctor with (and maybe still do). For a guy, your parents love her, and can't believe that you haven't gotten together yet. Well suited to the "nice-guy" or any guy who she can have fun with but will still treat her with respect. The She-Hulk What, a girl can't work out? Yes, she can, but The She-Hulk takes this to the extreme, destroying all femine traits that she may possess. This girl is a walking tank - there is not a guy in the world "man-enough" for her, and she lives for the rush of scaring the piss out of men. Possibly a steroid user. Often possess VIOLENT tempers. Best matched with a body-builder or another She-Hulk, someone that she can't hurt easily. The Goth The Goth is the exact opposite of The She-Hulk - she is quiet, disinterested, and avoids physical activity where possible. Usually pale, or wears white make-up. Reads often, favorites likely include the works of Edgar Allen Poe. Avoids confrontation. She will open up to someone that she feels she can relate to, likely another Goth of either gender, but expect her to hide her feelings. May keep a journal. A good match for a Goth is one of two things - someone that shares her gloomy thoughts and feelings, or someone who can get her to try new things and bring her out of her goth shell. Goth girls vary greatly in physical attractiveness. The Book-worm The Book-worm shares many qualities with the Goth - she is quiet, calm, and likes to hide from the world in a good book. In fact, she spends more time in a fantasy than the real world. Severe extremes may lack the ability to differentiate reality from fantasy. Often too busy reading to care about looking for a relationship. Book-worms are MADE for nerds/geeks - they share many common attributes, and know how to enjoy a quiet day indoors. Often has a strong intellect. Variations of the Book-Worm include the Anime Fan and the Gamer-Girl. The Prom Queen This girl is hot, and knows it. She rules the world around her (not in the manner of The Princess, but simply by fact of her beauty and plotting). She rarely has to think or act for herself, but when she does, The Prom Queen can be extremely manipulative, selfish, and cruel. She is usually found with a Princess for a best friend in this case, until they fall for the same man and unleash hell upon each other. Conversely, she could be kind, helpful, and perfect in an almost un-reachable way. Her flock of followers makes her near impossible to get close to though, so she is difficult to pursue in a relationship. As her name suggests, she is almost a guarantee for Prom Queen. High probability that she is/was a cheerleader. Best suited for an all-around person (someone who excels at sports, academics, and social activity). The Stoner/Rocker There is nothing that the Stoner/Rocker won't try - she is WILD. She loves the music to be so loud that she can't hear herself think, but is usually too stoned to think anyway. She loves parties and loves to get drunk. Do NOT try to tame her. For people dating her, be prepared for her to cheat (this may not always happen, but things happen when you're on every chemical, legal and illegal, known to man. Somehow they always end up dating deadbeats and sleazes. The Tomboy This girl is awesome - she is one of the guys. She loves to wrestle, punch, spit, burp, and set things on fire. She can take care of herself, and frowns upon guys "protecting" her. Often referred to as the "country girl." Not afraid to speak her mind. Will not tolerate abusive relationships. Well-suited to respectful but capable partners. The Prude The Prude is the opposite of the Stoner/Rocker. She will not try anything - not for religious reasons, but simply because she is stuck-up. She likely will not try new things, claiming that she hates them without ever having tried them. She is extremely picky and slow moving in relationships. Impossibly stubborn. She fits perfectly in a relationship with a Religious Zealot or any other "safe" partner. Low chance of being homosexual. The Zealot Oh dear lord...No, seriously, these girls are borderline nuns (in their minds). They have a religious quote for every situation, and often adopt a cause which they fervently support, such as starving children in a foreign country. Their favorite passtimes include listening to "Christian" music, praying for "non-believers" or those who "stray" from the "righteous path." Often share many qualities with Prudes as well. A word of caution - do not, EVER, for ANY reason, bring up the topic of religion with these girls. A Passion of the Christ t-shirt is a dead giveaway. Well matched with a male from the same religion (99% of these girls believe that homosexuality is a dreadful sin). Brian's additions The Feminist The feminist feels that everything a man does is to put women down, and she has no problem explaining that to you. Any gesture of kindness can be seen as putting her down, such as opening a door for her, or trying to push in her chair. In an argument, she will always side with the woman, no matter what. This type of person should be avoided, because there is no real way to reason with her. It is also a fruitless endeavor, because she is, or most likely will end up becoming, a lesbian. The Nurse The Nurse is always concerned with how everyone else is doing. She will put whatever she is doing aside to check on you and to help you with your problems. Whenever you don’t have money for lunch, or are thirsty, there she is with food and water to give you. If you hurt yourself, she goes out of her way to help make life easier. This type of girl is great to find, and is suited well with everyone except those extremely independent types of people. The Tease The Tease is not interested in you, she just enjoys the attention you give her. She keeps you as close as needed in order to have you bending over backwards for her, but never closer. She will often use sex as a motivation for you, dressing provocativly, blowing you kisses, but never letting you touch. Do not pursue teases, because they do this with every guy, and it will drive you insane. This is by no means a complete list, but contains most of the more common groups of women. Remember, there are always exceptions (a Prom Queen dating a nerd) to these groupings. Let me warn you again that it is IMPOSSIBLE to truly know what any woman is thinking. Do not waste your time trying, just go with it. Replies
"Let me warn you again that it is IMPOSSIBLE to truly know what any woman is thinking. Do not waste your time trying, just go with it."
Something all the basil kids should take note of and remember well. lupefiasco said: "The Princess - No The Girl Next Door. - shoot me The She-Hulk - Hmm, could be hot. The Goth - Pale? Hotsauce The Book-worm - I love you The Prom Queen - I kill you till you die The Stoner/Rocker - Rocker sure, stoner GTFaway The Tomboy - depends, could be hot could be not The Zealot - I R TEH ANTIPOPE The Feminist - I'll punch you in the face The Nurse - You me bed nao The Tease - Tease me you die" I laughed so hard at your Zealot comment.
Actually it's really easy to tell what a girl is thinking. They drop so many hints that you'd think in 2000 years a guy would have figured it out by now and wrote a book.
why am i always attracted to the she-hulk? why?
yangz702836 said: "maspan do you have a link to fakefire's guide?" Fakefire's guide was deleted a LONG time ago. Shortly after it was posted. I'm sure some people have it saved on their computer. I used to have it but then I reformated.
What made it so FakeFire's guide so good?
xKyoukanxxx said: " Fakefire's guide was deleted a LONG time ago. Shortly after it was posted. I'm sure some people have it saved on their computer. I used to have it but then I reformated." Oh that sucks. I suppose the good die young if you wish to be forever immortal.
When it comes to girls, I say only one thing:
Be a polite gentleman.
im proud of the response to our work.
bumpcakes yangz702836 said: "Actually it's really easy to tell what a girl is thinking. They drop so many hints that you'd think in 2000 years a guy would have figured it out by now and wrote a book." Except for the fact that these hints are for the most part hidden amongst all the not-hints that we think we see, so... MasPan said: " Except for the fact that these hints are for the most part hidden amongst all the not-hints that we think we see, so..." Stop thinking you see things then. yangz702836 said: " Stop thinking you see things then." What most women fail to realize is that most men are hopelessly clueless when it comes to picking up signals from girls, and instead think that we are being jerks.
To portray the average boy's point of view: Think of a girl as a puzzle or a Rubik's Cube if you will.
RubenFett said: "When it comes to girls, I say only one thing: Be a polite gentleman." I don't like that stuff. If a guy is gonna go out with me, act like we're just friends. I don't want anything... I don't know the word. xKyoukanxxx said: " I don't like that stuff. If a guy is gonna go out with me, act like we're just friends. I don't want anything... I don't know the word." What the elephant does that mean? I just ment be nice and help others out. If it's a date is obviously going to be more intimate. |
