Pokemon The End is Nigh
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
Clap.
You know, Nintendo, I really thought you couldn't top Mega Mewtwo. I honestly believed stapling his butt to the back of his skull was the worst you could do to tarnish the legacy of your franchise. You took the most well-known legendary and redesigned him for no reason other than to satisfy your misguided need to Super Saiyan everything. I thought that was the worst you could throw at me.
But no.
You killed Charizard.
For those of you unaware, a new XY video debuted yesterday, unveiling several new tidbits regarding the game. First off is Pokemon Bank, a cloud storage for your Pokemon that will cost an annual fee. While more space for your Pokemon is always nice, why the heck do you have to pay extra for it? And, more importantly, why do you have to KEEP paying? If you sign up for a year-long subscription and it runs out, do you get locked out of all the Pokemon you had in cloud storage? If you're going to charge us for something you can easily offer for free, at least make it a one-time purchase. When they explain all that more thoroughly, maybe I'll re-evaluate my response, but for right now I think it's kind of a jerk move on their part.
XY-themed 3DS's will also be available in the non-Japanese market this fall, which is cool if you're a collector of limited-edition consoles or need a 3DS still (like I do). I'd also like to take this moment to talk about the 2DS. If you don't care about the 2DS, feel free to skip to my discussion of the Kanto starters.
*Ahem*
WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF IS THE 2DS?
So, it's a 3DS, yes? But it plays the games without the 3D capabilities, which is why it's called the 2DS. But they already have a 2DS. IT'S CALLED THE FRICKIN' DS. The only difference between this and a regular DS in terms of capabilities is that it has space for that obnoxious little notch that changes the shape of a 3DS cartridge and makes it unplayable in regular DS's. It's the same thing with the various iterations of the GBA--some had a tiny bit of extra space inside the drive that allowed for standard GameBoy games to be played, and some were complete butts and didn't. For no real reason.
So, the 2DS is a DS that can play 3DS games. I guess if you don't care about the 3D part then it's cool, right?
WRONG.
This thing is the most ill-designed gaming system I've seen to date. First of all, the thing doesn't even close. The whole point of a DS is that the games are portable, perfect for slipping into your pocket or in a backpack, where it can be tossed around a bit but still be fine. Not this thing. It has no hinges, so the screens are permanently susceptible to damage. And that's a serious issue when the target audience for the console is children in the 7-12 range (they've explicitly stated it's aimed at children). Unless they've invented Mithril-strength glass, my bet is that parents will end up having to buy more than one of these things within the first year thanks to their accident-prone children. No offense to kids, but things really do tend to break around them.
Besides the damage issue, this thing is not even close to portable. The 3DSXL (which cemented my belief that Nintendo should never be allowed to name anything ever again) is already two big for many pockets, so why make the 2DS even less portable? I already feel like a dork taking my DS places, and I have the DS Lite, which is microscopic in comparison to this thing. I just don't understand why you'd make a grab-and-go system more of a hassle than necessary.
The most annoying issue, however, is the configuration of the controls. The arrangement is the same as previous DS designs, but all the buttons are in the top half of the console. The stick and ABXY buttons are in line with the center of the top screen, with the Start/Select and D-pad buttons just under them. The L and R buttons are at the very top of the console, meaning that while holding the 2DS, half the system (including the touch screen) is hanging awkwardly beneath your hands. If you want to use the touch screen, you have to awkwardly reposition your hands to support the massive system while you prod at it with your stylus. It just all feels very inconvenient and half-baked.
The price point makes sense, because it gets kids into the market for a smaller cost to their parents than the standard 3DS. But are these issues really worth the $50 savings?
Sometimes I wonder if Nintendo does any sort of consumer testing with their products before they announce them. After the lackluster sales of the Wii U (the original Wii actually sells more systems per quarter than the Wii U) and this horrendous thing, I'm not sure how much longer Nintendo will be releasing hardware.
So, yeah. The 2DS is a thing.
But you know what else is a thing? You can choose the Kanto starters when you begin X and Y! That's definitely a twist, and I can't say I hate it because the Kanto starters are so great. However, I will say that it seems like a bit of a step back in terms of pushing the new designs. By having to pick an entirely new Pokemon every time you start in a new region, there's a certain amount of forced immersion into that generation that helps boost your interest in it. While I'm not necessarily in love with most of the Gen III designs, I do like them more when I don't have Charmander or Squirtle to compare them to. In the context of Mudkip, the other Gen III Pokemon work.
This, however, is a bit like putting an all-star player in with a bunch of rookies. You can't help but pay extra attention to the well-known individual and judge the ones around them a little more because of what they aren't. I like the idea of having the Kanto starters in the game, but I'm still undecided about if it's better to make them available from the outset or make them some sort of reward later on.
But, as interesting as all that is, that's not the real news.
The real news is that they get Mega Evolutions.
That's right, nineties kids! Time to pull out your old drawings of Blastoise2 or whatever you named your made-up Stage 3 starter evolutions and see how close you were! (I know you made up evolutions for all your favorite Pokemon. I did it too. No need to be embarrassed.)
First up is Mega Venusaur, which surpisingly doesn't look much different from regular Venusaur. There's an extra set of leaves near the top of the flower, a couple vines hanging from it, and the giant leaf covering his forehead is replaced with a cute pink flower. That's basically it. For a Mega Evolution, this is pretty tame. And you know what? I actually like the design for the most part. The vines are a cool touch, and the slight coloring differences makes everything pop a bit more. However, I still hate this on principle. You DO NOT evolve a Pokemon past Stage 2, and you DO NOT mess with Starter Pokemon, regardless of the Generation. The fact that Bulbasaur is #001 doesn't make this any easier to swallow, either. Nothing is sacred.
Charizard would come next numerically, but I'm going to touch on Blastoise next.
I always chose Squirtle as a kid. I don't know why, because I typically choose Charmander now, but I always chose Squirtle. Blastoise was absolutely atrocious-looking in Red and Blue, but I still always liked him. So this kind of sucks on an extra-personal level for me, since he was always one of "my" Pokemon.
*Sigh*
You know what? They're right. Two cannons strapped to a turtle isn't enough. We need THREE. So let's stick a cannon and a little shell on to each of Blastoise's forearms and then a FRICKIN' GIGANTIC, PHYSICS-DEFYING, BODY-TOPPLING cannon to his back. Because that's not silly at all. Seriously, it's like someone at Nintendo was brainstorming while playing Mario Kart, shot a Koopa Shell at Peach, and was like "STRAP THESE MOFOS TO BLASTOISE'S HANDS!" It's just silly. And how in the world does it even work? Where does he get the material for those cannons during the evolution? Silly, silly Nintendo.
But in all seriousness, it looks more like an eight year old designed it and handed it off to Sugimori instead of a trained artist. It's just so comical. I can't even. I don't. What.
I'm glad I talked about Blastoise first, because that silliness makes up for the crushing pain I feel discussing... Mega Charizard.
Hold on.
....
....
Okay, back. Sorry. Threw up a bit in my mouth.
Here's the thing. You know I don't like Mega Evolutions. But if it's a Mega Evolution akin to Mega Venusaur, I'm more okay with it. They didn't change too much, just slightly exaggerated a couple key elements of the design. If all Mega Evolutions were like that, I could tolerate them once the initial dissatisfaction wore off.
But I cannot forgive them for this.
Charizard was never exactly a pretty Pokemon. Even Charlita's bow couldn't take away from the fact that it's a pot-bellied, bright orange dragon. But there's something so great about how simple Charizard is that makes it cool. It's literally just a dragon. It flies and breathes fire and cuts things to ribbons with its claws. No fluff, no mess, no crap. Just dragon.
But Nintendo doesn't like "just" anything. So Charizard was obviously near the top of the list for Pokemon that needed "improvement". So they went ahead with the surgery and created a Frankenstein's monster version of one of their most iconic designs. Thought Charizard's head was nice and simple? Well, you're wrong. Charizard should have a gigantic horn shooting awkwardly out of itss brain, in addition to a more snub-nosed design. Enjoy ridge-less spines? Too bad! Now Charizard gets a shark fin on his butt, plus a tail reminiscent to a stegosaurus, with ridges a few inches from the burning tail tip. Like wings? Good, cuzz now you get FOUR OF THEM. In addition to redesigned primary wings, Charizard also now sports stumpy vestigial wings coming out of the stumpy hands at the ends of his new stumpy arms. I guess usable forelimbs are too much of a privilege for Mega Charizard to handle, so they did away with claws capable of performing an epic Seismic Toss or carrying Ash to safety. now, Charizard has all the manual dexterity of a Tyrannosaurus painting a house.
Sometimes, Mega Evolutions actually look like evolutions. They're absurd, sure, but they feature an almost-logical progression of the Pokemon's anatomy. In Charizard's case, however, he looks like a genetic reject, a complete biological mess that seems more likely to wash up on the shore after a meltdown at a nuclear plant than to exist coherently in the already-nutso Pokemon world. While Charizard was a symbol of simplicity and pure awesomeness, Mega Charizard is a mismatch of bad ideas that renders him the current epitome of "too much". While Mega Mewtwo was just one bad idea, Mega Charizard is a whole boatload of them.
76 Comments • Newest first
Yknow what, i would love to reply a full bit, but i dont have the time...So, to make a few points...
The bank has a fee because its not FREE for them to happily store data. And they are offering, get this...100 boxes. 3000 pokemon stored, if you need that much storage then by all means, you are the target for this. If you dont need 3000 pokemon storage, then no, you probably arent the one they are looking at.
Mega evolutions are optional ways to give pokemon who might have fallen behind as far as what they were on the power scales before as compared to now. Its basically counter power creep for select pokemon. You dont need to trade looks for power if you dont want to, and by all means, guess what! Its temporary! One item per use battle from what i hear, so your charizard can have its fine looks, and if you need power for it in a single battle, then you can go mega and get a power surge. Stop whining about optional things.
Whats pokemon
Well I still stand by my rant whether this was all a troll thread or not.
@ChildsPlay: we c-can catch i-it....
2gether...
@CouponGoddess: i t-think w-we caught the c-cancer...
@ChildsPlay: y-yes... play-chan...?
[quote=CouponGoddess]t-thanks....[/quote]
g-goddess sempai...
@ChildsPlay: t-thanks....
@CouponGoddess: Y-you too...
@ChildsPlay: >implying I use the internet
it's not like i-i use it or anything y-you stupid b-baka..
[quote=CouponGoddess]>breathing
>using the internet
what are you, a human or something... PSHH... STUPID B-BAKA...[/quote]
>implying I breathe
[quote=ChildsPlay]>going on 2+2chan
>not being autistic[/quote]
>breathing
>using the internet
what are you, a human or something... PSHH... STUPID B-BAKA...
[quote=CouponGoddess]>being autistic
>using meme arrowz xdDD
>not liking /s4s/
>not kekking ur privilege
>le pig shig face.png[/quote]
>going on 2+2chan
>not being autistic
@ChildsPlay:
>being autistic
>using meme arrowz xdDD
>not liking /s4s/
>not kekking ur privilege
>le pig shig face.png
[quote=CouponGoddess]oh god /vp/ is so... ugh... full of autists.
>not liking /s4s/
kek your privilege please
thanx :^)
-a concerned doge[/quote]
>not liking /vp/
>not finding yourself at home with fellow autists
>shiggy diggy doo
@HastyHeist: oh god /vp/ is so... ugh... full of autists.
@godbobman
@Childsplay
>not liking /s4s/
kek your privilege please
thanx :^)
-a concerned doge
[quote=Deulxe]I assumed this was your actual opinion.[/quote]
You and many others.
@ChildsPlay Pretty much. It could have been free, but in the end, it's not a big deal. And with the profit they're making, they're probably going to be constantly backing the data up. Losing all of your data is pretty unlikely.
@PteraPaladin I know I'm using numbers, but it's mainly to point out that they're putting themselves before the hands that feed them. I honestly didn't see it coming, because Nintendo's been pretty good over the years. That they could have done the transferring for free (see [url=http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/644064-dragon-quest-monsters-terry-no-wonderland-3d/62806734]this[/url]), but they didn't. Will they regret it? Maybe, maybe not.
[quote=Deulxe]You avoided my question.[/quote]
What's the point in answering your question? Want to call me a hypocrite for buying the game while posting hoennbabby copypasta?
@Amuro: To be honest, the only thing I'm worried about is potentially losing stored pokes. $5/yr is chump's change if you can afford a 3DS and a copy of Pokemon.
@MagicFrappe Check page 4's comments.
@PteraPaladin It's $5 per year, per person. The storage they're offering, 3000 Pokemon, is a few hunred KB to 1 or 2 MB at most. Let's do some quick number-crunching. If 2 million of the 30+ million people buying X and Y buy the Pokemon Bank, that's an immediate 10 million dollars more, gross. There's no way these are going to be huge servers, considering the size of Pokemon data, and if it costs them anywhere near even 1 million dollars per year to maintain, they're doing it very, very wrong. Overall, the annual cost to Nintendo is trivial. They saw an opportunity to squeeze a little more out of their loyal fan base, and they seized it.
@PteraPaladin: Yes, the secret club. Super secret club. I love posting the maymays, do you?
Please tell me this is a copypasta.
[quote=Godbobman]Go back to s4s, you know how bad Basil is with trolls and irony in general.[/quote]
I don't even go on /s4s/. Ironic crap posting isn't fun when people are onto you. That's exactly why I posted here.
Though I honestly am surprised they believe I can write essays that quickly.
you have so much to say about pokemon
pokemon.
Seems like only 5 people in this thread aren't gullible. kek
[quote=pl0pmyfac3]@scientistB: What if the cell comes from a stinky booger?[/quote]
It would be quite an awesome one.
Yup. Definitely tl;dr.
entire thread:
tl;dr
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeze thanks for all the spoilers.. >:C can you PLEASE give a warning ahead of time.
Unlike most people I tend to read everything thoroughly but you kept giving away details! So I had to stop enjoying your posts.
Generally I feel the same way, but more with the story lines and content itself rather than the Pokemon species and stuff. That's what I took from your "rant" since its how far I wanted to go, to avoid spoilers. I'm sure you went into tons of more things I'd like to read.. but can't !
Anyway back to my own point, the game mechanics are stale and leave you craving for more.
Story line -
The story generally only lasts about 10-15 hours play time tops. (If you know what you're doing via knowing types and moves well)
I'm not saying I want a 300 hour story line but cmon give it more depth and put some life into it by adding more variety, twists, sure maybe some romance drama why not every show and game has a tiny bit of it or at least a love interest. Just some things here and there to make the characters feel like an actual character. Not just some random newbie who came from another place or woke up and decided to rule the world with Pokemon and being harassed by strangers along the way. Simply put each game is the same thing : beat 8 gyms, stop evil team, put rival in their place, elite four, collect Pokemon.
Game play -
First off we have over 700 different Pokemon. Why are we still facing only eight gyms? Not to mention each gym has about 2-5 trainers including the leader. As well as each fight featuring two or 3 Pokemon to battle against. Where's the challenge? Where's the 700+ variety? Hey here's an idea! It's simple and stupid but would probably shake things up a bit! "Lets make a gym for every Pokemon type there is! lets throw in the stipulation you can either face them with only the same type of Pokemon! (Example fire versus fire or fire/any) Or we can have the choice to not be able to use "super effective moves" It's only an idea but given the current state of the games, I think it would really hype gym battles up.
Speaking of battles there's new 3vs3 and the 2vs2 and now other battle modes! Well where are they? Sorry you can't have any of those battles throughout the entire game. Not even a random trainer? Sure only once though! just to tell you what it is! What about at a Gym leader fight? Not a chance! Elite four to make it more interesting rather than the 5th annoying final battle which never makes me the legit champion? In my dreams. Point is there's more variety of battles.. IMPLEMENT THEM! into normal game play.
Then there's the encounters.. again 700+ Pokemon, why do I only run into Geodude or Zubat EVERYTIME or Tentacool in the water EVERYTIME. Just saying.
I really liked in Black 2 / White 2 by the third town you had access to give your party some type variety. However it's still a dreadful pattern since rattatta and pidgey, that I should run into a less than mediocre and very bland normal type pokemon or normal flying early in the game. Again 700+ Pokemon why am I limited to only 2 Pokemon to be with at the start. Aside from the starter Pokemon. All I'm saying is it'd be cool to start the game and by the second or third town I'd be friends with a steel or ghost type Pokemon. Which brings me to my next rant.
Routes and towns -
Why does this town have only 2 houses which serve absolutely no purpose and then the PokeCenter? Hello, and good bye. -Walks 10 steps- Oh look at that I'm in the next town already! Oh no I actually walked right through another town skipping it.. Oh but there's no need to back track, that town had only a PokeCenter and some weirdo strangers rambling garbage everyone and their mother already knows about Pokemon. Gee do you think you guys can tell me something more about whats happening in the story line? Like hidden secrets or secret areas? What? What do you mean there's no story line to this game? I remember in Blue/Red even Emerald, routes were long and challenging to get through. You really felt accomplished once you finally made it to Cerulean or Sootopolis city. Now in 40 steps I'm already at the League and magically obtained 8 badges already.
I'm running out of energy so I'll only say, Ruby/S/E remakes.. where are you? Emerald Battle frontier which had 7 DIFFERENT. BATTLE. STYLES. and different ways to be challenged, like the pyramid for example a maze that was random and fun yet a nightmare but always kept you coming back, or the Palace where you can't control your Pokemon and the moves they chose themselves to use depended on their nature. A calm Lapras isn't going to start blasting HydroPumps it would cast defensive skills instead.
Even the Seviper room was cool. Also Why can't every game have the Pokemon contests or marathons? It adds more replay value after story mode! implement it! and all of them! safari zone can only be done so much before its worthless, battle subway is way too repetitive and horrendously boring to give it another chance after one streak failure. Isn't that the reason we had Battle Tower?
I'd add tons more but I think this is enough for now.
@torch15: Yuh pokemon are being cashcows and i dont like it!
[quote=CouponGoddess]Is this a copypasta?
Also, Nintendo (and Gamefreak) doesn't give a shxt what some person thinks about them. You might think Pokemon is dying, but in Japan (where it really matters for them) is still huge, and they have a lot of merchandise. Pokemon ain't leaving any time soon pal anyone delusional enough to think that needs to get medical help.[/quote]
Too bad Pokemon will never have it's model kits ported over.
The last time I've seen models aimed at children exported was Battle B-Daman.
God Nintendo way to pull a Microsoft
True fans of Pokemon would appreciate that Gamefreak is finding new ways to reintroduce older Pokemon while adding a new tactic into competitive and normal play.
@inyourface45 It's 5 dollars a [b]year[/b]. Is that really so bad?
Wow, that pokemon cloud storage sounds like BS, its like nintendo took a huge dump on my head. If you had to pay Poke to use the storage then, ok that would be a cool addition to the game! But charging real life money to store pokemon? I want to slap the developers of pokemon so hard, every one of them
Thats really the only part of this thread that i read, you guys have posted walls of text everywhere... its melting my brain
I laughed as I read your thread. Providing your perspective on these pokemon mega-evolutions was truly humorous.
But you say their age group was aimed at 7-12 year old children yes? Then I suppose they wouldn't really mind these designs too much, especially since they didn't grow up with the 1st, 2nd and 3rd generation pokemon.
Also, love how you said 'Frakenstein's monster' instead of 'Frankenstein'. You would be surprised at how many people get that wrong. It just makes me want to scream in frustration.
Anyway your English is great; there was a flow in your rant that encouraged me to read your incredibly long thread.
I would be interested to have a conversation with you not on pokemon, but on something else one day
And the world moves on and people will still buy X and Y when it comes out.
didnt read op is a nerd
thread over.
@scientistB: What if the cell comes from a stinky booger?
[quote=pl0pmyfac3]What about the stinky booger (Reuniclus)?[/quote]
Oh, silly goose. Reuniclus is a cell undergoing mitosis. Which is also awesome!
[url=http://31.media.tumblr.com/19d1c04662a940dd7d15abd331b5d673/tumblr_mr6de7fcFN1spilswo1_500.png]If you don't like it, that's fine.[/url]
Don't like it? Then don't play it. Simple as that.
[quote=scientistB]Hey guys. I just got Pokemon Red and Blue. You know, the new ones that just came out. And I must say I'm quite dissatisfied with these new designs... I mean, a rock with hands? A rat with a lightning bolt for a tail? A glob of toxic waste? Or even an upside-down pokeball? Seriously? The developers really must have run out of ideas on their creativity. Why can't designs be like they were way back then, when it started with Black and White? We had an allosaurus with a battle axe for a snout, a UFO plant covered in spikes, and even a really sweet looking electric eel! Not to mention a freaking moth that had the power of the sun! Man, I sure miss those days.[/quote]
What about the stinky booger (Reuniclus)?
Hey guys. I just got Pokemon Red and Blue. You know, the new ones that just came out. And I must say I'm quite dissatisfied with these new designs... I mean, a rock with hands? A rat with a lightning bolt for a tail? A glob of toxic waste? Or even an upside-down pokeball? Seriously? The developers really must have run out of ideas on their creativity. Why can't designs be like they were way back then, when it started with Black and White? We had an allosaurus with a battle axe for a snout, a UFO plant covered in spikes, and even a really sweet looking electric eel! Not to mention a freaking moth that had the power of the sun! Man, I sure miss those days.
You don't have to give Charizard the mega stone though
I usually hate when people say "TL;DR" but...I'd be willing to make an exception for that with so many long responses.
On topic: I agree for the most part about what you say in your first post. Being a 90's kid I continually held the first two generations in high regard. That being said, I never write off any of the new games until I've played them myself. I've liked them all to some extant (least being Gen 4) and I will again withhold judgment of X/Y until I play it. And as far as the Mega Evolutions, while I personally am not thrilled about their existence at all, the designs could look worse(except Mewtwo's, I hate it.)
[quote=FrostyGun]It's funny because I skip all of the OPs long has Copy pasting and read everyone elses.[/quote]
Same m8.
Personally I'm excited for the new Pokemon X and Y with all the mega evolutions, Honedge, and the 2DS isn't that big of a deal. Firstly, mega evolving one of your Pokemon is entirely optional so you can just stay away from doing so while playing. Secondly, Honedge is just like any other Pokemon in the shape of a sword. Pretty much every Pokemon is based off an animal or an object such as a kangaroo or a rock and people are saying that Nintendo is lacking creativity well look at how many rodent Pokemon there are! Lastly, the 2DS has pros and cons I agree. It is cheaper to manufacture thus making it cheaper but what you failed to mention is that the 3D in a 3DS can damage a child's eye.
I'm actually cool with charizard, I'm just sitting here laughing at blastoise's new look though.
[url=http://tytonnuzlockeemerald.smackjeeves.com/news-archive/posts/126418/the-end-is-nigh-part-xii/]http://tytonnuzlockeemerald.smackjeeves.com/news-archive/posts/126418/the-end-is-nigh-part-xii/[/url]