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coping with bullying

have you experienced bullying and how do/did you deal with it?

i have long hair and don't speak very often so some people like to whisper gay (there are others words that are censored on basil) and some people do it without realizing and just treat me like a girl. it's not a big deal for me because i know my sexuality but after months on end of it is just overwhelming

it's kind of tough sharing this but i don't know who else to talk (definitely not my parents)

April 3, 2014

34 Comments • Newest first

DkWhut

Had the same problem, stood up for myself. And kicked the guys arse. (Don't have to go that far)
And if you ignore it, they will get bored. The bullies are just looking for reaction, don't give them one. Oh and don't draw unwanted attention to yourself. People move forward and relize how stupid their action make them look. Stay positive and don't let the tauntings get to you!

Reply April 4, 2014
Wanton

i was bullied in elementary by this Filipino kid for being Korean and called me Chinese and was like ching chong ling long
90% of the kids were filipino so yeah i was a minority
i was okay with it for a while cause i was like 'k go away i want to play house with my friends'
then one night, i watched an episode of inuyasha being angry and so i was like yo being angry is cool and looks fun
so the next day the guy was taunting me and idk what came over me but i stood up, yelled at him, kicked his desk, and got sent to the office.
i dont remember what happened after but whatever.

Reply April 4, 2014
ZetraDedd

well when I was insecure / still cared about other's I never really got bullied much... Now though if anyone trys to pick on me I really don't care at all lol

I'll give you some advice. Give yourself more credit, be more confident. Consider others, are they worthy of being your friend / even someone you respect? If not then why should you care what they say / think like really lol that's how I view things now and nobody can bother me really

Reply April 4, 2014
easyrolling

[quote=Ipoopster]just stand up for yourself if you want it to stop. by doing nothing your basically telling them to keep bullying you.[/quote]
I did this in high school and was accused of making myself a target because of it.

My case escalated pretty bad, which lead my tire being slashed and car keyed. That's where I drew the line and told the VP, but he just told me to stick up for myself... which is apparently another form of bullying, which makes me target. I have never been so flustered in my life.

Reply April 4, 2014
DarkOdor

I used to be bullied from elementary to middle school...then I got contact lenses and people treated me better. I'd say change your appearance. Dress up better, get contacts (if you look better w/o glasses), or getting rid of acne are all ways to change. You can also change your physique by working out or even learning how to fight. Knowing how to fight can boost your confidence (and if everything goes to ****, you can fight them), and working out will boost your confidence as well. Besides appearance, you can also just try to be more confident (most important thing imo). I didn't really do much do deal with my bullies, but over the years, I learned that you need to just stick up for yoursellf (i wish i can go back to middle school with this mentality).

Reply April 4, 2014
iDrinkOJ

talk to your counselor. take martial arts and lift weights.

Reply April 3, 2014
Ipoopster

just stand up for yourself if you want it to stop. by doing nothing your basically telling them to keep bullying you.

Reply April 3, 2014
mitarumetaro

[quote=Kiryuin]@mitarumetaro: it's only a small group not the entire school[/quote]

You can either
(1) ignore them
(2) beat someone up
(3) Just verbally stand up for yourself

Reply April 3, 2014
LuckyNinja

Just say "Good for you. Do you want a cookie for that?"
Or you could make fun of his religion.

Ex. (Christianity) "You need some Jesus"

Reply April 3, 2014
Errr

[quote=Kiryuin]i wasn't aware having hair and not talking had something to do with sexuality[/quote]

Now tell the bully that.

Reply April 3, 2014
mitarumetaro

[quote=AugustRain]no, unfortunately. if the bullying continues to the point where it threatens physical harm then he's gotta tell somebody. it's difficult to stand up for yourself in a situation like that, and gathering from op he doesn't give the impression that he could.[/quote]

I think we need more information about the specifics of stuff

There was some stuff going down at my high school in grade 12, but my solution was to almost brawl

Reply April 3, 2014
muffinsx

[quote=Kiryuin]fighting? i've never really been in a fight besides with my brother i think fighting will just embarass me even more, especially if i lose[/quote]

It's not about winning. It's about standing up for yourself and what is right. Many things have been gained through failure.

Reply April 3, 2014
AugustRain

[quote=mitarumetaro]unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way[/quote]

no, unfortunately. if the bullying continues to the point where it threatens physical harm then he's gotta tell somebody. it's difficult to stand up for yourself in a situation like that, and gathering from op he doesn't give the impression that he could.

Reply April 3, 2014
Cryzonia

Bro dont ignore it. Just go along with it and then they will leave you alone. I got bullied in kindergarten,and i figured that out by my self.And dont go to any principal,or scholl counseler unless you get really scared. Like one time a counseler got me in trouble for someone bullying me.Oh, and sometimes just say call me gay i really dont care. Thats how i deal with bullys. After a while they see that its not doing anything.Hope i helped.

Reply April 3, 2014
Chowder94

[quote=AugustRain]you guys, it's not about fighting back. coping with bullying is about demeanour and walking away like it doesn't faze you even if it does.

bullies are in it to incite an emotional reaction, if there's no reaction then they just give up.[/quote]

it's never stopped me

Reply April 3, 2014
mitarumetaro

[quote=AugustRain]you guys, it's not about fighting back. coping with bullying is about demeanour and walking away like it doesn't faze you even if it does.

bullies are in it to incite an emotional reaction, if there's no reaction then they just give up.[/quote]
unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way

Reply April 3, 2014
AugustRain

you guys, it's not about fighting back. coping with bullying is about demeanour and walking away like it doesn't faze you even if it does.

bullies are in it to incite an emotional reaction, if there's no reaction then they just give up.

Reply April 3, 2014
Castrius

First off, try to make friends, they will help you in the long run.
Second, dont take the comments, whenever someone says something, tell them they're wrong. Sometimes thats all they need to shut up.
Third, stand up for yourself. If it means beating them up, then do it. How do you expect people to respect you when you havent earned it. When they see that you have guts and stand up for yourself, they'll realize you're more of a man than they are.
How do i know this? I got bullied for 3 years for being overweight. One day i punched him in the face and broke his nose even though he was bigger than me and that was all it took.

Reply April 3, 2014
mitarumetaro

[quote=Kiryuin]have you experienced bullying and how do/did you deal with it?

i have long hair and don't speak very often so some people like to whisper gay (there are others words that are censored on basil) and some people do it without realizing and just treat me like a girl. it's not a big deal for me because i know my sexuality but after months on end of it is just overwhelming

it's kind of tough sharing this but i don't know who else to talk (definitely not my parents)[/quote]

KKswagdawg

How big of an issue is the bullying? Like is it like *the majority of my peers bully me* or is it *a small group of people bully me*?

Reply April 3, 2014
Luapxal344

Well, I do know that the bullies I had in middle school 9 years ago are now in prison for murder today so...yea
EDIT: I forgot to add that I had a punching bag in my backyard and I took it out on that.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Kiryuin

[quote=Blackest]If you don't want people to think your gay, don't do things to make people think you're gay.[/quote]

i wasn't aware having hair and not talking had something to do with sexuality

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Blackest

If you don't want people to think your gay, don't do things to make people think you're gay.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Kazno

[quote=Duckynater]Your first post was very vague. I interpreted it as if there is a guy that regularly picks on the OP than just go hit him. However now that we cleared things up I agree, and even state what you say in the my first post too but rephrased.[/quote]

Yeah my bad lol.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Duckynater

[quote=Kazno]I'm not telling him to straight up just hit someone out of nowhere, but if he gets in a situation where there is trouble then he has to stand his ground and do something about it.[/quote]

Your first post was very vague. I interpreted it as if there is a guy that regularly picks on the OP than just go hit him. However now that we cleared things up I agree, and even state what you say in the my first post too but rephrased.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
NonSonoFronz

I always went to schools with really accepting and liberal environments that embraced being weird, so nope, can't say I have.
Just go along with it and play it off. But given how you act in this kind of situation already you probably don't have the charisma to pull it off.

Because if you had that kind of charisma to begin with people wouldn't be bullying you.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Kazno

@Duckynater
I'm not telling him to straight up just hit someone out of nowhere, but if he gets in a situation where there is trouble then he has to stand his ground and do something about it.

@GurlMaybe
ok wanda srsly can u for once just bak off plz? u always do this? i told u i fought u so u cant do my battles anymore ok just stop it thx.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Duckynater

[quote=Kazno]Yeah you really need to stand up for yourself, if there's someone in particular bothering you then you should hit them. Sitting by doing nothing will make no changes.[/quote]
Just hitting someone is a dike move. No, you make your stand first and if the other guy wants to fight than that's when I feel it would be OK to fight.

@Kiryuin
To OP if you're weak, don't be afraid, most kids are just punks and when in a fight are just like "Oh, $#!*, where the hell is the security guard?" in their mind just hoping someone will break the fight up. I've seen it too many times, two punk kids who just make so much drama saying "Oh, I'mma fight this n!**#r during lunch bruh. I'mma really do it bruh, I'mma real one!" to people and before the fight even happens there's already a giant ass crowd with teachers already noticing whats's going to happen. At least you stood up for yourself and now people think that you're not a pu$$*.

Of course fighting is the last thing you want to do. The best thing to do is to acknowledge within yourself that some people are just dikes and that as long as you can be happy at the end of the day your life isn't that bad.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Zoneflare4

I bully the bullies.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Kiryuin

[quote=Kazno]Yeah you really need to stand up for yourself, if there's someone in particular bothering you then you should hit them. Sitting by doing nothing will make no changes.[/quote]

fighting? i've never really been in a fight besides with my brother i think fighting will just embarass me even more, especially if i lose

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Kazno

Yeah you really need to stand up for yourself, if there's someone in particular bothering you then you should hit them. Sitting by doing nothing will make no changes.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
Omegathorion

When I'm bullying someone too much, my friends step in and stop me from talking to the person I'm bullying anymore.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited
SirZos

Friends in this kind of situation are a giant help as they can support you in this case and show you to stand on your own two feet in front of these people. Depending on the people it was benefit you to ignore/stand up to said people saying these things. I'm sorry I cant really give any pointers or anything to cope; I've been in a bullying situation myself and know other people who have too. It spans differently with everyone; as does how to cope with it. The best thing I can really say is your not alone on this and just You knowing You is enough. Try not to let others decide who you are for you, take control and surround yourself with people who care and know you for you also.

Reply April 3, 2014 - edited