Came out to a couple friends Plus Other Stories
[b]1[/b]
So a few days ago (or something like that) I came out to a couple more friends of mine. I'm pretty sure that one of them was actually expecting that I was going to say I was gay (or something like that, due to the nature of the conversation, as well as some other stuff which I don't really need to expand on here). It went pretty excellently. One of them was either not sure exactly what I meant, or they wanted to make sure they weren't misunderstanding me or something, since they asked what exactly I meant. But it was really chill, and we talked about sexuality briefly and stuff. It was cool.
[b]2[/b]
I was sitting in one of my classes, waiting for the lecture to start. This girl who has sat in my general vicinity for a few weeks sat down beside me and introduced herself, and we talked for a bit about some stuff. I was sort of curious about whether that would have happened had I been anyone, or if it was something specific to me. That is, I'm wondering if she was interested in me specifically, or if she just wanted someone to know by name, and to talk to, etc.
As I've been conversing with people--people who I'm not close with, acquaintances, and people of that sort--it's been becoming more and more apparent just how much I don't want to be social with people. Like, conversations just seem so like.... trivial. And, like, yeah I made a thread a while ago (or maybe it was a comment in a thread) about how I find it intimate to talk about trivial stuff. But, like, conversations just seem like this really artificial social stuff, and it's sort of just an irritating thing to have to put up with.
[b]3[/b]
I've got a friend who is 19. He is in a relationship with a 16 year old, and they have been together for a few years (don't judge). Going to refer to them by their ages (19 and 16) for sake of not having to give them names.
19 is busy. He's a student, he's doing a bunch of stuff outside of school which occupies a lot of time. And, like everyone, he also likes to just chill out with friends sometimes. 16 feels really like disconnected from 19's life. For one, she feels like she can't relate to a lot of stuff that's going on in his life, partially because it doesn't involve her at all. But, also, because of how busy 19 is, they don't get to spend a whole lot of time together--at least not as much as 16 would like. And, consequently, 16 sort of feels like she is being just squeezed into his time, sort of like she's extra to everything else that's going on.
It doesn't help that 16 doesn't really have many friends. (Honestly, I don't know what's going on inside her head, but, based on conversations we've had, I sort of feel like she has similar feelings towards others as I do. She has anxiety issues, also).
She was sort of venting to me about stuff, and about being afraid that something is going to happen between her and 19, and that she's going to be left sort of alone in life.
[b]4[/b]
I've been feeling generally terrible, but that's not special.
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22 Comments • Newest first
Is 16 Asian?
soo do you want to be a girl, or a boy?
[quote=evyxx]mitarumetaro: good luck to her!
ah hm idk, do you feel lonely or uncomfortable with that?[/quote]
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.
idk
I don't really understand my own feelings
@mitarumetaro: good luck to her!
ah hm idk, do you feel lonely or uncomfortable with that?
[quote=evyxx]mitarumetaro: ahh ok sorry i misunderstood umm there are some lower-stress jobs out there, fast food if youre behind a grill should be easy peasy but to be honest those jobs are Hard to get now and its WEIRD. but as long as she is cooking and not dealing with people she should be ok hopefully, the most stress is a coworker shouting to get an order but most the time thats just gonna be to make sure it heard. she could also bus for a local diner, you get nice tips if its a nice place. or she could do dishes or something idk. it would be something where she could meet other people but still part-time and not directly dealing with customers. also if she has a PRN she could take pretty much any job, her pills before ashift for a while and get used to it once its a normal environment (depending how bad her anxiety is and how well her prn takes care of it)
and yea definitely she does i just hope she makes some friends!
as long as you have people to make small talk w/ im pretty sure its normal not to have close friends in all or even most classes. do you have other people you enjoy talking to outside of that?[/quote]
Yeah idrk. Maybe she'll do something like that or w/e
I hope she does too ._. she's cool
I have some people who I don't see much, since they go to school elsewhere. And a couple people who live nearby, but who I don't go to school with. But, outside of that, talking to people is mostly a chore.
@mitarumetaro: ahh ok sorry i misunderstood umm there are some lower-stress jobs out there, fast food if youre behind a grill should be easy peasy but to be honest those jobs are Hard to get now and its WEIRD. but as long as she is cooking and not dealing with people she should be ok hopefully, the most stress is a coworker shouting to get an order but most the time thats just gonna be to make sure it heard. she could also bus for a local diner, you get nice tips if its a nice place. or she could do dishes or something idk. it would be something where she could meet other people but still part-time and not directly dealing with customers. also if she has a PRN she could take pretty much any job, her pills before ashift for a while and get used to it once its a normal environment (depending how bad her anxiety is and how well her prn takes care of it)
and yea definitely she does i just hope she makes some friends!
as long as you have people to make small talk w/ im pretty sure its normal not to have close friends in all or even most classes. do you have other people you enjoy talking to outside of that?
[quote=evyxx]mitarumetaro: i', glad she trusts you at least but tbh it's not your responsibility. if you're uncomfortable talking about certain subjects all the time (other than venting sometimes) its totally cool + you should be able to tell her that. its real hard to make friends in school tho i know that. is she in a position where she can get a job somewhere since she's 16? i make friends way easier at work than i ever did at skool. i'm not saying dont be there for her ever but she does need to get other people to talk to from time to time that isnt just u and isnt just her bf (i'm totally guilty of this tho i rely on like the same 4 people but im tryna improve!)
nah i think thats ok. some ppl i cant stand to talk to not because i hate thembut because theyre dreadfully boring and i just...dont enjoy it! just make small talk and be as friendly as u can stand but its totally fine not to get close to everyone, as long as again ur not just relying on 2-4 people[/quote]
I'm not uncomfortable... but I'm super unqualified.
She could probably try to get a job. Idk. I would hope that she wouldn't be too like screwed by anxiety to do that and not hate it, but idk.
And I know that it's not like strictly speaking my responsibility or anything, but, like, she really does deserve to have someone who is there for her.
Of people who I like have classes and stuff with, there is only one person I really enjoy talking to at all, lol
@mitarumetaro: i', glad she trusts you at least but tbh it's not your responsibility. if you're uncomfortable talking about certain subjects all the time (other than venting sometimes) its totally cool + you should be able to tell her that. its real hard to make friends in school tho i know that. is she in a position where she can get a job somewhere since she's 16? i make friends way easier at work than i ever did at skool. i'm not saying dont be there for her ever but she does need to get other people to talk to from time to time that isnt just u and isnt just her bf (i'm totally guilty of this tho i rely on like the same 4 people but im tryna improve!)
nah i think thats ok. some ppl i cant stand to talk to not because i hate thembut because theyre dreadfully boring and i just...dont enjoy it! just make small talk and be as friendly as u can stand but its totally fine not to get close to everyone, as long as again ur not just relying on 2-4 people
[quote=evyxx]i understand where 16 is coming from but tbh if they can stick it out til shes out of high school (or maybe college depending ) it does get better. but to be honest its really weird to be in a relationship where youre at totally different points in your lives. there's only a 3 year difference there so its not Bad (at all, the bf and i have more than that btwn us) but its an awkward age where shes still in hs and hes not.
congrats on coming out i am very proud of you! that is a hard thing to do!
i get u on artificial conversation THAT IS 100% MY JOB honestly u just get used to it sadly enough. i tend to overshare and try to talk about like things that are serious and important to me way 2 early in friendships when i should be making small talk n getting to kno them...
hope u feel better soon[/quote]
Yeah, it's definitely an awkward age for that reason.
I really sort of wish that I had some experience with the whole *relationship* thing, or even just a better perspective regarding the whole *people in general + friends* thing, because I think that she sort of trusts me more than like... most people in her life. Like, definitely more than anyone her own age. And it kind of feels like I have some sort of responsibility to be there for her in some capacity, especially because she doesn't really have anyone else. Like yeah she had her boyfriend, but she doesn't want to just like complain about stuff, or make him out to be like a villain in her life, or something like that. And stuff.
Thanks <3
Idek what I talk about. I'm especially good at talking about stuff which has nothing to do with me. But it's just such a chore.... like... go away, I have no interest in talking to you. And it's not even like I don't like the person or something or w/e.
But then there are other people who I like really like talking to and stuff.
I think i'm just a jerk lol
And um thanks again I hope so too
i understand where 16 is coming from but tbh if they can stick it out til shes out of high school (or maybe college depending ) it does get better. but to be honest its really weird to be in a relationship where youre at totally different points in your lives. there's only a 3 year difference there so its not Bad (at all, the bf and i have more than that btwn us) but its an awkward age where shes still in hs and hes not.
congrats on coming out i am very proud of you! that is a hard thing to do!
i get u on artificial conversation THAT IS 100% MY JOB honestly u just get used to it sadly enough. i tend to overshare and try to talk about like things that are serious and important to me way 2 early in friendships when i should be making small talk n getting to kno them...
hope u feel better soon
[quote=AntiSenpai]Congratz on coming out to friends, it can be hit or miss with something like that but I'm very happy that it worked out well and that your friend was curious instead of just completely ignoring it.
As for the girl, hm I'd say not to think too much about it, you don't want to fall for someone or assume things before they happen or incase you're wrong. You don't want to be hurt and you don't want to look like an ass. ^^ Take things as they come and eventually you'll end up with a good friend or something more(?)
Hm, as for 16, I feel she should just relax. Relationships are built on trust and communication so she should voice what she is thinking to him so he can understand and take her into consideration more. Also, as a guy he should know how to treat his significant other, you should have a balance that is good for everyone. For me, I make sure my girl spends time with her family, studies and doesn't ignore her friends, but after all that's done she is all mine for the rest of the time. ^^
This is from RLxBellz and I -Super Hugs- If we can make it through the things we're going through to be happy with each other then so can you! ^^ If you need someone to chat to you can yell at me anytime ^^ I hope you feel better and I genuinely wish you happiness and to have a wonderful life and I hope everything goes well with you coming out more and to becoming a better and stronger person! ^^[/quote]
Thanks
Regarding story 2, I wasn't going to fall for her anyway, lol
[quote=ThotsRUs]What did you come out of?
Its nice being both introverted/extroverted because at times you enjoy being with people where at others you would prefer your solitude.
Just be straight up with the 16-year old and be like the guy isn't for you, period.[/quote]
I don't think that I really feel like they aren't for each other or w/e tho. I mean, they've been happily together for a few years, and stuff. She's just a really insecure person in general.
[quote=WindowLegs]like this story was like a good like story but like i dont like know like if it like[/quote]
Oh come on... I didn't even say "like" all that much in this one.
like this story was like a good like story but like i dont like know like if it like
@Tharsis: Eh, it's irrelevant now ^^ Seems you have impeccable timing, it's all over now.
@Tharsis: I do believe you're asking things that are irrelevant to you. ^^ Please be kind and respect other's personal lives ^^
@Tharsis: Nerp, they're just friends. O.O She's with me o.o
Congratz on coming out to friends, it can be hit or miss with something like that but I'm very happy that it worked out well and that your friend was curious instead of just completely ignoring it.
As for the girl, hm I'd say not to think too much about it, you don't want to fall for someone or assume things before they happen or incase you're wrong. You don't want to be hurt and you don't want to look like an ass. ^^ Take things as they come and eventually you'll end up with a good friend or something more(?)
Hm, as for 16, I feel she should just relax. Relationships are built on trust and communication so she should voice what she is thinking to him so he can understand and take her into consideration more. Also, as a guy he should know how to treat his significant other, you should have a balance that is good for everyone. For me, I make sure my girl spends time with her family, studies and doesn't ignore her friends, but after all that's done she is all mine for the rest of the time. ^^
^^ If you need someone to chat to you can yell at me anytime ^^ I hope you feel better and I genuinely wish you happiness and to have a wonderful life and I hope everything goes well with you coming out more and to becoming a better and stronger person! ^^
[quote=Wanton]mitarumetaro: i guess its because ive been friends with her for so long and i didn't know about this side of her until recently that its sort of hard to call her out on it? ? ?
idk it makes me sad lol.[/quote]
ugh that makes sense, but it's unfortunate
@mitarumetaro: i guess its because ive been friends with her for so long and i didn't know about this side of her until recently that its sort of hard to call her out on it? ? ?
idk it makes me sad lol.
[quote=Wanton]at least your friend tried understanding you and you guys had a discussion about you coming out.
my friend tries to totally avoid stuff like that, and doesn't respect people's preferred pronouns.[/quote]
...and you are friends with that person because?
at least your friend tried understanding you and you guys had a discussion about you coming out.
my friend tries to totally avoid stuff like that, and doesn't respect people's preferred pronouns.
[quote=YoureWrong]http://www.basilmarket.com/submit/story[/quote]
of course someone str8 wudnt understand struggles
cis -scoffs-
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