Im really worried about my friend. I feel guilty
I told my friend over and over I'm sick of her getting out of control at parties and expects me to take care of her, the last time it happened I found her by a bus stop completely out her mind. Sad part is she doesn't even remember the whole night, we got into a huge fight and I said to her I'm not taking care of you any more. She has emotional issues and needs help but refuses to get help, I don't want be the one responsible for her. I have my own life I don't need to watch out for someone else's. So here's what happened.
We both got invited to the after party celebrating Germany's victory (I'm not a huge soccer fan but I enjoy a good party), I saw her there and of course after an hour she was hitting on every guy, drinking shots like crazy and grinding with everyone. I wasn't about to let her ruin my night, a few more hours past by and she was talking to this guy who kept her wasted the whole night. She couldn't even stand up right getting into this guy's car and I wanted to say something but I remembered the fight we had. I just smiled and waved.
After the party I checked my phone I got a text from her (before the party) saying she's sorry about our fight and wants to be friends again. I'm waiting for her to call me begging me to pick her up from god knows where but she hasn't called yet and I called her twice but still no answer. I'm really worried, the guy she was with seemed shady.
Am I a bad friend?
28 Comments • Newest first
You would think at your age you'd actually be doing something instead of seeking validation from basil and reassuring yourself that she's not dead. Either troll or you got some growing up to do alongside your friend.
Its not that if a girl goes home with a boy one time she is dead in the morning.. probably just a one night stand
dont worry too much oh and dont expect good answers from basil lol
Think about it this way, if you told her "no" she couldn't go with mr. sketch, she would be angry with you anyway and you'd probably have a fight again. People like that will feel bad and apologize when they're looking for sympathy, honestly if you think she's not worth your time, just drop her, life could get better, could get worse, or stay the same. risks r risks. take one and go with the flow luv
Well, you are a bad friend. But, at the same time you don't need to be friends with someone who is constantly adding stress to your life.
It's either be a bad friend for the rest of the friendship (since you're bound to slip up again, and it's not your fault since we're all human) or just drop her as a friend.
You really should've said something about it since he was shady and keeping her wasted all night.
But I get what you mean when you say that you're tired of picking up her mess. It's just that this one time you decide to leave it, trouble happens.
Hopefully she's safe and is just passed out but you really should focus on helping her change her habits and go see a specialist about her emotional issues. I know that you have your own stuff to do but if you help her with the alcohol problems n stuff, it will save you a lot of time in the future because you won't have to drag her ass back home.
[quote=ZetraDedd]tbh your friend is responsible for his or her choices so theres no need to feel guilty
unless she dies[/quote]
i like how you make her feel guilty at the very last second =)
She might be knocked (sleeping) out at that guy's place.
There are also chances might be pregnant if she comes back; possibly beaten up too.
Just hope that she's okay.
Also, about being a bad friend, its partially your fault for letting her go with a shady guy, but it is mostly your friends fault for getting wasted and going with a random guy. She needs to grow up and drink more responsible. Don't put yourself down if anything bad happens.
you cannot make someone else's problems your problems.
I find it kinda her fault as well because if she gets that wild in a party she has to know the consequences she has to know a limit. But you saw her just going into a stangers car like that? even though you got in a fight you should know when to help even if its a someone else something bad could have obviously happen....
I understand your situation well. Ok, maybe you messed up a bit but I feel like the people in these comments are going way to hard on you. You probably feel like it was all your fault, but keep in mind all the times you HAVE helped her. Like you said, you have babysitted her before. You should give yourself credit for doing that. I'm sure you did not truely want anything bad to happen, and if something bad does happen, she would not have blamed you. The text she sent proves it.
Wow... This is like the movie, Taken lol
That really sucks. My friend is exactly like this and she never gets to have fun because she's always taking care of someone else. Let her know that you want to be a good friend, but if she wants to be a good friend then she has to not completely put her responsibilities on you.
Honestly, yeah you were but shes also to blame. You were probably in the heat of the moment after fighting with her but you shouldnt of let that happen.
@ShadySnow Omg, she's not dead. I believe it. She's probably passed out in that guys couch or something.
@Eldeon: She could have decided not to go to the party? Or not to drink? Or maybe just not drink as much? It's called looking out for yourself
you sound like a beta friend who lets a girl walk over you
[quote=ZetraDedd]tbh your friend is responsible for his or her choices so theres no need to feel guilty
unless she dies[/quote]
The thing is, she can't make any choices when she's drunk off her ass, and she's probably only getting that wasted because of her emotional issues. If it was really a friend, you wouldn't let him/her do things like that and instead try your best to help....unless you're an asshole.
Oh my god, I really messed up didn't I. K I have to go find her.
I just realized, I don't even know where to start. FML i pray she calls me.
[quote=RichAF]I think I'm going to cry. Well I'm not crying just really sad.[/quote]
tbh your friend is responsible for his or her choices so theres no need to feel guilty
unless she dies
You really shouldnt've done that, if you wanted some sort of "pay back" then that isn't the way to go about it, she's completely out of her mind and the guy obviously had bad intentions. I always take care of my friends no matter how drunk they get because I don't want to see them get hurt, even if it's at the cost of my enjoyment...especially the females because there are sleazebags guys everywhere that just want to "get in" or commit...a crime.
Try harder to help, force her to accept the help because she clearly does need it, don't just let her continue running wild, be a better friend and you'll feel better about it.
everything she's doing is wrong no doubt, but what you did tonight was also very wrong.
I think I'm going to cry. Well I'm not crying just really sad.
[quote=ShadySnow]just imagine her pale body and an expressionless face in the corner of that guy's room while he is preparing the body bag.
all could have been prevented if you had the heart to tell her. BUT INSTEAD YOU JUST LAUGHED.[/quote]
and waved
"I don't drink alcohol anymore because when I see you drink, it turns me off" BOOM. and it stopped.
@RichAF: ok i'm sorry I wasn't being serious
[quote=ZetraDedd]lets put it this way
if shes dead you're going to hell[/quote]
please please please don't say that
in this situation; frankly yeah
lets put it this way
if shes dead you're going to hell