General

@windowlegs: Everything you mentioned is exactly how I feel. Thank you so much for the words, I appreciate it. One thing I realized is that if I think too much about what I want to say, I will stammer and stutter while saying it. If I just say it without thinking too much about it, then my words come out fluently. My friends at school haven't mentioned anything to me about my stammering, however they did tell me that I put too much thought into things that don't require a lot of thought at all. I will change this and improve my low self-esteem.

@voidwreck: that is you thinking too much into it. work on your confidence. be normal. if you embarrass yourself one time just move on dont continue to dwell on that one mistake. dont overthink think things like you clearly already do. dotn get flustered and just learn and be aware of your own actions. then you will discover what makes you turn into a stutterpoppin and will be able to stop it from happening.

@xronellx: Thanks for the advice. Yeah I probably do need more exposure. It only became worse after I got hired. I think the reason is because I have never interacted with so many females before in my life, and this is the first time that I actually have to do it because it's part of my job. All my friends are male, and I don't have any female friends who I talk to occasionally. So this job basically exposes me to so many women. I have never had this type of exposure before, even in college, which is really a bummer.

@windowlegs: Nope. And you're right. I keep telling myself that they are just customers, nobody cares about their gender. But even when I know what I want to say, I would open my mouth to say it and the words won't come out and then I end up looking like a complete idiot. It's embarrassing.

@voidwreck: are you the type of person to type lol or lmao even though you are not actually finding the sentence funny?

you need to have confidence. you are not trying to bed them, you are just dealing with a customer. the gender of the person doesnt matter when you are working in customer service, treat them based on their behaviour

If it doesn't occur often towards your family, including your mom, then you may need to try to talk to more females. Practice makes perfect or at least close to perfect that you can fake it until you make it.

I would agree with @ilikeaime suggestion. Step out of your comfort zone in anyway such as taking classes of speech specific courses. Or observing from movies.

I think everyone has anxieties deep inside them, they just learned to fake it or adapt without it being noticeable along the way.

@staplemory: That could possibly be the case. In my experience, women do ask more questions than men. However, there are also women who don't really ask much. I have anxiety in both cases. My anxiety is also an "on/off" thing. Sometimes I would speak fluently, other times I would stammer.

@windowlegs: Nope but I'm the type of person who doesn't know how to respond to jokes. For example, if someone told me a joke I would probably be like "Hahaha" or just agree with them and be like "Yeah that's true haha", without really adding any spice to it.

@voidwreck are you easily offended? if you heard someone say a joke would you take offense even though it was said in jest and not directed at anyone?

It may be a stereotype, but I think women are more likely to ask more questions that would likely to give one anxiety.
I mean, I'd feel pressured when I have to answer questions that I am responsible for the consequences of, too.
Especially moms in their 40s, and women who work as school counselors. I've never had a good experience with school counselors ever.

I think if you really don't have any motivation at all, you wouldn't care so much anymore as to having anxiety when talking to your customers. But what do I know.

@ilikeanime: This problem started happening to me after I got the job. Probably like 6 months to a year later. Prior to getting the job, my anxiety was not that bad, but it was still there to a minimal extent. It somehow became a huge problem afterwards. And honestly speaking, the interviewer was a male. Therefore, my anxiety and nervousness was reduced. Had it been a female interviewer, I would have definitely flunked. I recall going to interviews in the past where the interviewer was a woman, and I was extremely nervous in front of them, especially at the fact that they look so attractive in office attire ~_~

I'm still amazed that you managed to get a customer service job because that type of job requires you to be skilled at socializing. Anyway, I can easily say that my situation is way worse than you. I have grammar issues, I fumble my words all the time, I get really nervous in front of men, women to(its noticeable). Also I literally sometimes have trouble saying words properly after multiple attempts (my speech problem was noticeable to numerous classmates in college but they ignored it, it was like whenever I was going to present they knew it wasn't going to be good.) On top of all this I use to have pre-asthma and bad skin. One solution I found for my self was doing yoga almost everyday; although its not a cure its perfect to calm you down and it also heals every aspect of you. All I have to do now is force myself to practice speaking to/in front of people. Following some type of religion also helps.

I'm very curious how you got the job. Isn't being a customer service employee something where having top notch communication skill is a must? How did you manage to pass the job interview?

OT: basically I had the same problem. Stuttering, forgetting my words, grammar and spelling error, anxiety for presentations, very insecure with job interviews and little bit of social anxiety. I worked on this issue by taking a sales class which lasted a semester. It was a hell of a challenge, and most of my classmates saw me as a social awkward loser. Also taking some extra classes helps alot, like how to perform a good elevator pitch, networking and how to debate.

Taking classes and stepping outside my comfort zone helped me alot. I also watch series and movies with actors with a great charisma, like the series Suits and movies of Dicaprio. Observe their personality, how they function and how they present themselves to others. These days I love to give presentations, have no problems with a holding a conversation, confident in what I say, smooth talking and job interviews are going much better (although I failed a job interview today).

@voidwreck: first thing u gotta do is stop calling women "females"

@windowlegs: I'm 22. Prior to getting this job, I did not speak to many females. But now, I have to communicate with people of both genders, but mostly females.

@amin45678: That's what I keep telling myself. It's so embarrassing when I can't talk properly and get my point across clearly.

@xronellx: When I'm communicating with family, it doesn't occur as often. It might happen slightly, but I won't feel terribly nervous like how I do around strangers. It's kind of an embarrassing issue to talk about and I'd rather not have to tell my mom about it. Instead, I just want to find a way to fix the problem without them knowing, really

hire a hooker
bang her
ur confidence will go up

I have trust issues

Yet you're like a kb warrior. Ermagerd

Have you told your friends or family about this? Does it also occur when your with your friends or family? Why not try to ask your friends or family for help.

They're just people.

@voidwreck: If that is the case, then I would recommend getting a prescription for anxiety medication as a therapeutic measure, at least until you feel you are able to confidently speak to others. The psychiatrist you may or may not end up with will likely recommend something of this nature or, in some cases, exposure therapy (which I'm sure you get the general gist of by way of the name), or behavioral therapy, which is a broader term different types of therapeutic approaches.

how old are you? have spoken to many females before getting that job?

@sezbeth: It mostly happens around women. If I am talking to a guy, I would feel a bit more confident, however my nervousness would still be there to an extent. With a woman, I will feel scared and extremely nervous, especially if they are attractive. I think it's because I probably objectify women, which is something I need to stop. If I just think of them as regular people then I'm pretty sure I would be confident enough to engage in a discussion with them and not stammer while talking. However, it's just really embarrassing for me. In most situations, I know what I want to say, but the words just don't come out of my mouth.

Social Anxiety Disorder could very well be a possible diagnosis here. Normally, in these situations I would strongly recommend simply pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, however as a customer service representative I would assume that you already do that quite a bit.

My advice would be to see a licensed psychiatrist about this issue and, after being diagnosed (which I'm fairly certain you would be), said psychiatrist should write you a prescription for anxiety medication. During my time working at a grocery store in positions ranging from cashier to accounting, I've known a few with similar issues to yours who also reported to having taken such medication. As far as I could tell, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference had they not actually told me.

With technicalities out of the way, I would also like to know if this is just around women you find particularly attractive, or is it more general? If it is only around the opposite sex, you could just skip the above advice entirely by simply adjusting your approach. It really all comes down to the fact that these girls are just people, which is something I find that people with your type of issue seem to forget.

u might have social anxiety