General

I'd like to thank everyone for all the feedback and suggestions.

In the end, I decided to tell her my feelings and my circumstances as well (which she was aware of already)

I don't think anything will really change for now and as much as it hurts to say this... I'm might tell her that she shouldn't wait for me for anything. I don't know how long it will take to convince my parents (or if they'll ever get convinced) I'm just not ready for them to hold any animosity towards me. They're my parents after all. They've done everything for me, given me everything I've ever needed.

I'll definitely be coming back to this thread every now and then just to re-read the comments. Might help me make up my final decision when I'm ready to make it.

@mitarumetaro: Gee, maybe because his parents raised him all his life? We don't even know what his parents are like or how extreme they are about their religion, yet you're just telling him to basically tell them to screw off so he can get with a girl that might not even last that long? Grow up.

meh, just go out with her without telling your parents yet. if the relationship does blossom, then you can release the news in a careful manner to your parents. if not, then you can go on living life like normal.
based on people's posts, you're going to college soon so you can work it out from there. honestly, there is a limit on how much a parent can tell you what to do because at times they are right and at times they are wrong.

[quote=xtripled]right cause someone who clearly values his parents approval will not be giving up his happiness by going against his parents wishes. He clearly cares about his relationship with his parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sure his parents have non western ways of thinking but they're still his parents and they obviously mean a lot to OP. You'll meet plenty of girls in your life, you'll only have one set of parents, unless they find new partners, but you get what i mean. Sure the situation isn't ideal but the decision is pretty easy, or at least it is. I'm choosing having a decent relationship with my parents over some teenage relationship that will in all likely hood end after a couple months anyday.[/quote]

Maybe the relationship will go somewhere. Maybe the relationship will go nowhere. But that's how every relationship works. Whether it's now or later, OP's happiness is probably going to require that he make that call--however tough it may be--and screw his parents.

edit: addressing your edit
It's not about a teenage relationship. Ten years from now, when he is no longer a teenager, his parents will have the exact same attitude. I see no reason for him to respect people who evidently do not respect him.

[quote=mitarumetaro]srsly screw your parents. It's not worth giving up your happiness simply to preserve a relationship with your parents. It's not worth giving up your autonomy for that purpose.[/quote]

right cause someone who clearly values his parents approval will not be giving up his happiness by going against his parents wishes. He clearly cares about his relationship with his parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sure his parents have non western ways of thinking but they're still his parents and they obviously mean a lot to OP. You'll meet plenty of girls in your life, you'll only have one set of parents, unless they find new partners, but you get what i mean. Sure the situation isn't ideal but the decision is pretty easy, or at least it is for me. I'm choosing having a decent relationship with my parents over some teenage relationship that will in all likely hood end after a couple months any day.

lol flexy are you serious, his parents don't like the idea of him dating certain ethnicities therefore he shouldn't respect them any more? sure lets just scrap all they've done for you over some teenage relationship.

[quote=icemage11]@mitarumetaro: Maybe so. But the alternative is to go behind his parents' back, lie to them and disrespect them. That's a worse choice than attempting to solve the problem like an adult.[/quote]

If his parents don't have enough respect for him to let him make his own decisions regarding his relationships, then I don't really see why he should have any respect for them.

@mitarumetaro: Maybe so. But the alternative is to go behind his parents' back, lie to them and disrespect them. That's a worse choice than attempting to solve the problem like an adult.

[quote=icemage11]You should be talking to that girl about your situation. Tell her that she might be faced with hostility from your parents and ask if she's okay with it. You're not the only one being affected if you date, she also has the right to know that she might be mis-treated and then let her decide if she still want to be with you.
Also you should be talking to your parents. Ask them why they won't accept your religious differences and see if there's any possibility they might change their mind. Try to let your parents know how wonderful this girl is and how happy she makes you.

Please approach your problem maturely like an adult. Don't throw a temper tantrum and say to your parents that you're 18 and you'll do whatever the hell you want. That just shows them you're too immature for a serious relationship right now.[/quote]

Honestly, there's about a 0% chance of OP's parents changing their mind. It's the same for everyone with that sort of family.

You should be talking to that girl about your situation. Tell her that she might be faced with hostility from your parents and ask if she's okay with it. You're not the only one being affected if you date, she also has the right to know that she might be mis-treated and then let her decide if she still want to be with you.
Also you should be talking to your parents. Ask them why they won't accept your religious differences and see if there's any possibility they might change their mind. Try to let your parents know how wonderful this girl is and how happy she makes you.

Please approach your problem maturely like an adult. Don't throw a temper tantrum and say to your parents that you're 18 and you'll do whatever the hell you want. That just shows them you're too immature for a serious relationship right now.

idk I'd date her and avoid telling my parents but I'm not known for making the best decisions so yea

@missy here is the parents response to using the 18 thing "you're 18 so get the Hell out of my house"

haha, oh the days of being a teenager. i've had a relationship where both my parents didn't approve and we were kept a secret from them. it's not hard really, just don't bring her to your house and don't make it obvious that you're going out with her. you're going to college soon, i'm guessing you're 17 because if you were 18 you wouldn't have to worry about what your parents thought. it really isn't a big deal, if they find out, what're they going to say?
>"she is not right for you" [b]i'm 18 you can't tell me what to do[/b]
>"she's a bad person" [b]i'm 18 you can't tell me what to do[/b]
>"she's ugly" [b]i'm 18 you can't tell me what to do[/b]
plus, if you keep up the blue balls for two months you can frick her all you want when you're sharing rooms.
good luck fellow basil comrade, i hope everything works out

Can you post a picture of yourself?

I feel sorry for you, sometimes culture and religion really limits your life.

Wow, Basil. Mother's Day was just yesterday, and the very next day you're all like "ohmaigawd parents are horrible."

Why not explain the whole situation to your crush and see what happens from there?

[quote=Casey]If you can't date her, don't lead her on.[/quote]

But we like each other

@RitoPls Not sure how that's relevant to any of this? (I'm southeast Asian and she's a mix with Filipino and Asian ? not too sure how the terminology works)

@Likwid Their ideology is derived from a mixture of tradition and religion. There's absolutely nothing I can do to change their way of thinking (they've been conditioned their whole lives to be the way they are) They've tried to do the same to me but living in a country with such incredibly diversity it's almost impossible to condition someone to the same extent.

If you're serious about liking her then why not date her. Not saying you should do this but romeo and juliet found a way to be together behind their parents back.. well ofc they did die because of that so your choice

What are your races?

If you can't date her, don't lead her on.

srsly screw your parents. It's not worth giving up your happiness simply to preserve a relationship with your parents. It's not worth giving up your autonomy for that purpose.