Just venting because I need to
So I should probably start off by saying that I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy, or anything along those lines. All I'm really expecting is a bunch of troll posts which I couldn't really care about as I do it myself quite a lot. This thread is merely for venting, as I don't really have any other way to get this off my chest.
So it all started somewhere around 4 months ago. I live a somewhat solitary life, and this includes when I play maple. I tend to ignore a lot of people that attempt to talk to me, as the majority of people tend to annoy me. However on this particular day, I had a change of heart when I was randomly invited to a guild. I accepted the invite, and after 3-4 days I started to somewhat fit in with everyone. The guild, and alliance, seemed to actually enjoy my sarcastic nature.
At this point in time I spent the majority of the time I was online sitting in hene by myself whilst I watched TV and such, I had no real interest in actually playing maple. I was surprised however, when I glanced at my screen during a commercial break and saw a guild member sitting next to me, attempting to talk to me. Not wanting to be rude I replied, and before I knew it we'd been talking for the entire night. It was almost 11am. I told her I needed to get some sleep and she immediately sent me a buddy request. Over a year since I hit level 200, and I had only just gotten the first person on my bl.
We continued talking for large amounts of time for the next 4-5 days. For me, having conversations with people isn't as easy as it is for most. Seeing as how I never really talk to anyone, I don't have much experience with it, yet talking to her was so easy. Anyway, at some point during a conversation I went to get a glass of water, and during the time I was afk she'd told me she liked me as more then a friend. I shrugged it off as a joke.
The next day, she asked me to be her girlfriend. As stated before, I'm a very reclusive person, at the time I didn't see the point in an actual relationship, let alone one over the internet. I also shrugged this off, and we continued talking. However, this seemed to set something off inside me, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I soon noticed, much to my dismay, that I actually liked her as more than a friend. Not long after, we became girlfriends.
For a month or so after this, everything was actually pretty amazing. I'd never felt happiness on the scale that I did then, and still do. We both came to terms with the limits we faced as we were so far away, and came up with some workarounds for them.
A couple of weeks later we had our first argument. I had done something on accident, that put me in the wrong. However when I told her I didn't explain it properly and didn't even mention the fact it was an accident. For the next 4-5 days we barely talked, and I realized that I needed to explain it to her properly, so I did. She realized it wasn't the big deal she though it was, and everything carried on [i]almost[/i] as normal. We went from constantly talking to having a conversation for about 30 minutes per day. I was fine with this, as I stated earlier, I'm not really one for talking anyway. But what really got me was she started to act even weirder. She went from constantly telling me she loved me etc to never saying it.
I was also fine with this, as I don't think it's really necessary to say it as much as she was. But she started a new character. She told me it was hers, she added me on it. She sat with me in hene on her normal character and was always off doing things on her new one. I didn't think much of this to start with, as of course there is a lot to do when you start a new character. Soon she started telling me it was her sisters character, her sister being so young she can barely read/write.
I pretty much leave maple on all the time, as I leave my pc running nonstop and free willpower exp is always nice. One day, about a week or two after she had created this new character, I had woken up and sat there for about 2 hours without saying anything to her. I noticed in buddy chat she said something to someone about her girlfriend wanting a new pendant, so I questioned her about it, and she told me she tells everyone else her sister is her girlfriend. I presumed she was telling the truth and shrugged it off.
The next day I inadvertently found out she was cheating on me. This upset me slightly, but I made it worse by getting upset with myself for being bothered by something so stupid. (It's a relationship over the internet, what a stupid idea)
Then the trouble started. I confronted her about it, just to see what she would say. For the next 6~7 hours she tried to somehow make me believe I was the one cheating on her with this girl. After she realized it wasn't working, she made one last attempt to tell me it was her sister and not her. She then admitted what had happened, during the time me and her stopped speaking because she thought I'd done something wrong, her friend comforted her and they got together. When she realized it was just a misunderstanding it was already too late.
We spent the next 40 or so hours discussing what was going to happen. Every second of it I felt like just going and never talking to her again, but I couldn't. Again, the fact I was being upset by something so stupid upset me even more. But eventually we resolved the problem. She told me she'd break up with this girl and stay with me.
From then until now (roughly 2-3 months) we have small arguments daily. Every time, we both agree it will never happen again, but it does. About a month ago I was talking to the girl I was being cheated on with, and she tells me they're still together. I constantly feel like I'm not wanted, yet I can't bring myself to just break up with her.
She assures me that she loves me, and that she wants to be with me, yet her actions are different to her words. I honestly hate myself for being bothered by something so trivial, something I and many others consider to be incredibly stupid.
I don't actually think anyone will read all of this but whatever, it's not what I've actually posted it for. And to anyone that's going to post something along the lines of "Relationships on the internet are dumb" I agree.
31 Comments • Newest first
@Truculently: > .< oh no problem at all I hope it could at least help a tiny bit~
Well, do you think there is someone out there who wouldn't do this to you? Who would treat you better? The answer is yes, so you should move on, because there are bigger and better fish in the sea.
Unless you're actually like 40 and this is the first person you've ever been able to connect with, which I doubt is the case.
@Nashi: I'm actually amazed someone would put as much effort into replying as you did, thank you.
@hame16: I suppose it wasn't so stupid... And thank you.
Jesus. What has the world come to?
I'm going to give you the first mean comment and tell you to grow up and move on.
You haven't even met me yet.
So when you talk to that girl you were cheated on why don't you ask her what she thinks about all this? I mean (both of your) girlfriend is between you two, not obviously picking one or the other which isn't fair to either to you.
I do understand that it's hard for you to let go of her probably especially cause seemingly she's the first person you could actually connect with (at least online from what it sounds like). But she's not the only interesting person out there, there's many more that could put a spell on you with their charm.
You should just try to talk it out with her completely, tell her what you honestly feel and think and let her know what she's doing to you and how disrespectful she is.
Personally I don't think she actually does love you or anything even CLOSE to it. Think about it, she cheated so fast, so early, and just cause of an arguement.
Whatever the arguement was about and no matter how severe it was - eventually it was a misunderstanding and if you two could have found the time and nerve to talk it out properly the first time that crap (hopefully) wouldn't have happened. Couples argue much more than just once within their relationship - so where is this going exactly?
Also, you say you still argue a lil daily and the other chick says she's still with her.
Something is broken between you and your "girlfriend" is obviously not trying to fix it for your sake and for the sake of your relationship but she is trying to keep it the way most comfortable for her.
She probably feels guilty for cheating on you so she wants to console you by "giving you a piece of her" - while at the same time she doesn't just wanna leave the other one considering you two argue so much so if she were to choose you completely and you argue again she would have nobody to comfort her.
Also sounds like she doesn't date people for who they are but simply for dating itself. From what I see her focus is only on HERSELF.
She does things to make herself feel better even if that includes trying to make you feel better.
And man she lied to you so easily, it's sickening.
At the same time though you should have also paid more attention to the process. You're probably not used to the whole thing but it sounds like you're much too careless about it (shrugging it all off, getting mad at yourself for getting upset... Well, when you like someone things like that naturally happen, everyone goes through that so that's nothing to be mad at yourself for)
You maybe don't exactly know what you want and what you need. While emotionally you are kind of bond to her, rationally you don't wanna care about it solely cause it's an online relationship.
Well, online relationships (or preferably the next level of it: LDR) aren't that bad, it just depends on what the people make out of it.
There's those that solely date online
those that aren't certain about what they actually want
and those that are actually sincere and want it to work out iRL too.
Distance is an obstacle that can be overcome, love knows no limits. You could be as rational as you want but you can't possibly have 100% control over your emotions, who you fall for and what you feel when about what.
Either way, long story short....
Confront her with it all but first think about it yourself. Take yourself a day or two. Then talk with her and end it.
If you keep this up all that will happen is that you two drag each other further and further while you painfully drift further apart and more grudge can be gathered.
The earlier you end it the earlier you can start the process of moving on from it.
Also, you have to learn to appreciate people for who and how they are. Sure many are annoying - but that's just how they are and just like people are accepting towards your personality (your guildies) you should do the same for them.
I know how it is to be a loner and to not have interest in talking to people but at the same time it's really refreshing getting to know someone new.
The whole story they have, the way they are, what they went through, what made them the way they are...
it's what makes it all really colorful, entertaining and fun. And to have bonds with different people no matter where they sit is a good thing and you could possibly learn a lot from it.
I wish ya the best, chin up. Should ya need someone to chat with feel free to PM me or something.
@Truculently: Its a promise! lol anyways.... ya so you know what you need to do to feel better.
@ShadeCombo: Yeah that seems to be what needs to be done.
@DragonBandit: We sure will.
@truculently arg I feel so betrayed but I am sure we will play the best games of chess the world has ever seen!
Welcome how life and people really are. Honestly, if you want it or not, you won't be happier with her. Considering how easy she can lie to you, even though she has feelings for you, won't stop her from dropping that other chick (or possibly you) and cheat on another girl.
TL;DR: Just leave her and do the best of it. You'll feel better if you do.
@HastyHeist: No, no, I suppose it probably does seem like that but it's not. The reason I hadn't talked to anyone was because I don't like the majority of people, but something about her was just different.
@Devoid: Sorry. :c
@DragonBandit: Finally someone to play chess with.
@hastyheist /everyone needs to back off now! I have already won. I have been invited back to the TS's house! It's a happy ending.
@Truculently Based on what I've read from this, you accepted her because you haven't talked to anyone in a long time, so the one person that does talk to you, her, becomes very close to you. It could of been anyone. It didn't have to be her. No matter who it was, you would of felt the same way for them. It's just because she got you in that state you were in.
Idk what I'm saying I'm brain-dead.
@truculently gladly be right over
@Devoid: True
@DragonBandit: Wanna come to my house?
@truculently go out and let someone get it in... you will forget about her.
[quote=Devoid]stand up for yourself and what little value she has for your relationship and break up. she's a liar. you're unhappy. you tried, but it's not worth your time anymore.[/quote]
I know that's what I should do, but I'm finding it hard to. We argue daily about stupid things and each time instead of just giving up I inadvertently make everything okay again.
[quote=UrinalMint]@Truculently: do you agree with Tigers famous quote?[/quote]
Tiger doesn't exist, he's just people's imagination running wild.
[quote=UrinalMint]@Truculently: by logging of and venturing out into real life?[/quote]
I laughed, again.
[quote=UrinalMint]40HOURS? did you even sleep? or eat? how is that possible! o.o o.o[/quote]
Neither of us slept or ate, and how could someone sleep with something like that on their mind.
[quote=Truculently]@HotAir: I laughed.[/quote]
I think he was serious?
@HotAir: I laughed.
@MiracleGirl: Thank you.
@miraclegirl bah to understanding... the truth should make you more defensive. I relationships have their problems though be it over the internet or in person... but w,e
@MiracleGirl: Well I wasn't expecting a reply like that. I realize that it's probably for the best if I just move on but I'm having a hard time with it.
[quote=MiracleGirl] It's really troubling how long you can spend with a person online and come to realize they never cared, point blank, or even just the feeling that you've wasted your time.[/quote]
You waste your time because guys only care about one thing. Over the internet they can't get it. So if they see no possibility of getting it... obviously they are gonna drop you like a hot potatoe.
Just finished reading this because I was that bored, and no comment.
I was going to post a kill your self meme on this but then I read the whole thing. I don't believe in online relationships working... because they rarely do... heck face to face relationships hardly ever work out.... now put a couple hundred miles between the 2 people? Seems impossible. But I understand what it means to have feelings for someone. All I can say is if you stop talking to her... you will move on. The world isn't over and you will feel better.
I don't mean to be rude or anything, but...
What.
[quote=ollypay12345]What.[/quote]
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality]Here.[/url]