A discussion on divorce
I'd like to have a discussion about divorce as the title suggests
All comments are welcome and I'll start things off
I personally believe that divorce is a terrible option for people who have younger children, and I say this primarily because that's what happened to myself and because I honestly believe that divorce hurts the children more than anyone involved.
Any chance at a "normal" and what I'd call stable life is practically gone, and it really does leave a hole in a person's being and that's something I don't think you can recover from.
I understand people are pushed to limits and want to give up, but I also feel that if you loved someone enough to get married and in most cases start a family then you should be able to come back to that feeling.
I also understand that for a lot of people that its not possible to do that due to some various reason, but to me and my association with divorce I see it as quitting on yourself, your lover, and your family, well at least in most cases.
What about you?
How do you feel about divorce?
What about special circumstances like abuse or neglect or adultery?
Discuss
11 Comments • Newest first
If two people don't love each other anymore, and they're married, they should get a divorce. End of story.
[quote=YerDum]@TS
Really? My parents broke up when I was five, and I never EVER once thought it was my fault, or do I currently thing that it messed up my life in any way. I do remember missing my dad though, but the every-other weekend visits stopped that.
Adultery? Really? How do you think you were made?[/quote]
I don't remember saying that I thought it was my fault but yes different people different circumstances
when I say adultery I was talking about being unfaithful to one's spouse unless I used the wrong word?
@above I understand that someone shouldn't have to remain miserable for the rest of their lives and create that sort of fake happiness
what I'm saying is that for a couple who "loved" each other enough to get married that a situation like this shouldn't happen and I know it does, but I think people should really sit down and think about it because (and I'm speaking from my own experience and some friends of mine) divorce often seems sort of like an impulse and being a child you aren't notified about it and it just sort of hits you and you have to deal with something that honestly you can't comprehend (or at least I couldn't wrap my head around the big picture)
I fully support divorce if it well thought out or because of reasons like violence or whatever, but I do feel like people who have had a divorce and then continue on to get remarried often have a lot of problems, and again I speaking from my own personal experience along with friends
I mean c'mon who really like their step parents? (Yes, I know people do. I'm talking about the majority of people)
Sometimes divorce is in the best interest for everyone. Kids need to thrive in a healthy household. Constant tension, mistrust and fighting does not make a healthy environment to develop properly. I'd rather be raised by 2 individual and happy people, than a married couple who couldn't stand eachother. Just because one has kids, doesn't mean they should remain miserable. A parent has an identity and life outside raising children. While the children should be a priority in life, giving up yourself and peace of mind to fake a happy life, will make everyone miserable in the end.
Kids learn relationships and how to have a healthy one, early on. If parents do nothing but fight and have constant tension, research shows the child will have less of a chance at holding a healthy and lasting partnership
If they just legalized mormans then this wouldn't be a problem...
I believe divorce is an option to be considered if you´re in an abusive relationship with the person you´re married to. I say this from what I´ve seen with my aunt who has gone through a lot with her husband (ex-husband soon). Besides that, I agree with most people in the sense that divorce is bad for children.
When there's drugs, child-abuse, and parents screaming at each other then yes, a divorce is definitely in order. ._. Or in my case it was so bad I was taken away from both my parents and sent to foster care for over a year. If there had been a divorce sooner a lot of pain and damage could have been avoided.
@LordZubin: Lol, my parents were divorced. I'm nowhere near weak; probably one of the strongest people I know. The weak ones would've been weak regardless, they just use the divorce as an excuse.
[quote=AnasF]There's nothing wrong with divorce.
The problem lies in people treating marriage like a toy. Seriously, don't get married unless you're super, super sure. :L
I understand that people change, but you really should accept that before you get married.[/quote]
This, pretty much. If you're going to get married and have a family, there shouldn't be a need for a divorce. Marriage means that you have utmost trust, confidence, love, et cetera for your partner. Therefore, if that wasn't actually true, then the people never should have gotten married.
I also think kids who were affected by divorce need to stop being weak.
I agree with utmost passion that a child, whenever possible, should be raised by both parents. Divorce is indeed a terrible, terrible option for the children.
However, it's absolutely impossible to make a sweeping statement that it's always the WORST option. Often times in life you're forced to choose between 2 lousy ones. Divorce is always going to be lousy, but in some circumstances it will be best, rather than have the kid grow up in a house filled with constant fighting, violence, etc..
So, if the parents can reasonably work it out (it's not easy, most things in life worth doing aren't easy), they absolutely should make every attempt.
There's nothing wrong with divorce.
The problem lies in people treating marriage like a toy. Seriously, don't get married unless you're super, super sure. :L
I understand that people change, but you really should accept that before you get married.
I think ultimately nobody really needs a certain father/ mother figure. It's awesome if you don't, but not the end of the world if you don't. Life's what you make it. Learn where you can. Move on when you feel you're ready to. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy it while it lasts.