General

When you've been with someone for 7 years it's hard to just walk away, I get it. To keep her you need dat leverage d00d. Move out of your parents house and make yourself the reliable man she once knew and loved! But you either do that or dump dat ho3 because she seem like trouble

[quote=123abt]I dropped a 2+ year because I just didnt feel it anymore. When you have constant thoughts about it then its just time. Besides, its always the guy's fault. No questions asked. If you asked her she'd probably say she sent other guys nudes because you didnt text her so it meant that it was okay for her to do that. <- Literally relationships in a nutshell[/quote]

Ohhhhh my lord.
This is sooooo true I can't even.

[quote=icemage11]Do you still have those things in your pants? Dump her and move on.[/quote]

you mean his wallet? car keys?

no pic no care.

sloots gonna sloot

Handing out nudes - red flag
Doesn't want to talk - red flag
Didn't pay her share - red flag
Blaming it all on you - red flag

How many red flags will it take for you to see that she's [i]clearly[/i] not worth it?

end it she's using u

If anything you can always come to these people to help console you. Look at all the supportive comments. If they can back you up this much, a little more help wouldn't be too much to ask for.

I know it's hard having to let go of something you invested so much time and effort in. I've been there. It's terrible when things end. 5 years of constant effort and trying to make things work. But it just didn't... I might still have some dormant feelings for this person, but somehow, I managed to find someone else who actually reciprocated my feelings. The same thing could very well happen to you. Something good's gotta come after something terrible. It might not be right away, but it'll come.

Just let go and move on. I assume you are still pretty young (<30) so there's plenty of people out there who will give you unconditional affection. Don't think of all the years as some sort of investment, because this will just make you want to stay. Think of it as a "sunk cost", an unrecoverable cost that should not be considered when you make the decision to break up or stay together. Let's be honest, do you really want to be with this person forever? If you're doubtful, then there's no point in dragging this any further. Break up, go no contact, make yourself a better person, and better people will come for you, my friend. Good luck!

" Now we are here and I find out she's been lying about almost everything she's been doing, and she now says that I have no right to know what she's doing ever and I should be ok with only talking once a day if that. "

.. please stop. x: just end it. I know it's hard to let go of someone you've been with for so long, but..
no. it's not working.
Let her go.
I don't quite agree with the "assert-dominance" idea because I feel like it'll just be a waste of time and effort because it seems to me that she doesn't value you, or the relationship. End this.
x:

I dropped a 2+ year because I just didnt feel it anymore. When you have constant thoughts about it then its just time. Besides, its always the guy's fault. No questions asked. If you asked her she'd probably say she sent other guys nudes because you didnt text her so it meant that it was okay for her to do that. <- Literally relationships in a nutshell

I'd agree with most of the "leave her" recommendations. However, if you really don't want to leave her, you have to change your attitude. Honestly, at this point, she doesn't deserve your trust, affection, or even respect. So this is what you could to, put your foot down and assert your dominance. Make her feel like she needs you in her life, and that way, you can make her submit to your demands. If she doesn't care about you enough, then you won't be able to wrap her around your thumb, in which case you shouldn't bother with her anyways.

leave her and dont look back no matter what. move on and find someone else that does not walk all over you.

[quote=iTempo]@IfIMust: it'll be hard to readjust, but you'll be able to do it. it just takes time[/quote]

thank you for your encouragement it means a lot

@xtripled i wish it wasn't as bad as i said to be honest...at least i could look at it then and say that i made it worse than it was and it might heal a little easier but yea, its that bad...of course yes i didn't mention the good things which is part of why i've stayed in it for so long..well the biggest part really. I know its been stupid to stay. Im not doing myself any favors.

I'm hoping the situation isn't as bad as you make it sound. I know personally when i talk about my previous relationship, i made her sound worst than she was by slightly exaggerating the facts of the story or just being a complete dense idiot and not seeing what really happened but what i think happened.

Sometimes when you're going through stuff, it helps to write it all out so you can see all the facts and others opinions are nice too. I'm more than guilty of venting to basil on multiple occasions. Anyways, based on what you typed, there's no doubt that you should let it go. I know there's good things (or at least hope so) in the relationship as well but it'd be best if you let this go. You deserve better. Her actions are ridiculous and not justifiable. I'm kind of like you and tolerate a lot more things than i should because i cared so much about her but never the things you mentioned. That's crossing the line.

[quote=ox0Shad0w0xo]To answer the question in the original post, no you're not stupid for not being okay with it. It's definitely not right and the real question is, why stay with her so long when you're clearly aware she's doing wrong by you. No right to know what she's doing ever? That statement is even more ridiculous knowing you're engaged to her. Considering how much married couples share (name, finances, assets, etc) you have every right to wonder what she's doing. Really not a good idea to go into marriage with someone trying to hide things from you.

Long story short, it's been 7 years and she's still lying to you. It's time to say enough is enough and look past your love for her and think about how much her lies have hurt you.[/quote]

Thank you for saying that. I really don't know why but she says that knowing anything she does is controlling and that i should just trust her....which i shouldn't trust her with everything she's done. I'm very quick to trust people..which i guess isn't a good thing..so i thought i could get that trust back if things got better.

To answer the question in the original post, no you're not stupid for not being okay with it. It's definitely not right and the real question is, why stay with her so long when you're clearly aware she's doing wrong by you. No right to know what she's doing ever? That statement is even more ridiculous knowing you're engaged to her. Considering how much married couples share (name, finances, assets, etc) you have every right to wonder what she's doing. Really not a good idea to go into marriage with someone trying to hide things from you.

Long story short, it's been 7 years and she's still lying to you. It's time to say enough is enough and look past your love for her and think about how much her lies have hurt you.

[quote=iTempo]oh my mistake dude, that's crap on my part
yeah, I really feel like you need to move forward with your life. but at the end of the day, it is your decision. however, it usually takes other eyes in order for you to see how bad it really is, and all the comments here say to dump her. we're strangers, but that doesn't mean we're wrong[/quote]

It sometimes does take an outside eye, i know i used to be that for friends before in a few cases. Its weird how its so hard to see sometimes. im going to end it abd ive let her walk all over me and i've been way to willing to accept it.
to be honest its hard because i've moved away from all my friends that i've known and thanks to this relationship i've not really made many new ones here yet so i'll have to deal with it on my own

[quote=IfIMust]It's not crap at all and yea I guess I've let her walk all over me.
Guess if it's this obvious to strangers I shouldn't be questioning whether to end it or not.[/quote]

Nah, I get it. I was infatuated with a drug addict and would I go throught great lengths to defend her actions, as ridiculous as I sounded. People told me to cut it off with her but I didn't listen. She ended things with me for not getting into her drug habits (to the same degree as hers). Only then I realized how much of a doormat my infatuation made me. However, seven years is a long time, you should of ended things sooner the way you described things. You'd be a complete moron to stick things out and think it'll work because it won't. I understand it may not be easy but it's really whats best for you. Hope thing work out for you.

[quote=iTempo]it's not crap? she sends nudes to other guys, and that's not crap? she's probably had sex with other guys, but it must not be crap at all
she wants to talk only once a day? yeah she must be talking to other guys throughout the day but it's not crap
I know you love her to death, but man this ain't worth it. you don't need a sleazy sloot like her in your life[/quote]

no i dont mean that that stuff isn't crap, i was replying to someone saying that the stuff i said was crap, as in made up. my phone wouldn't let me quote for some reason

all of that stuff is crap
i know when we were on a break she did sleep with someone else which i still cant stand

Dude some times you just have to drop it.
I got out of a relationship of almost 5 years.

It shouldn't be the time keeping you two together. It never should have been.

[quote=IfIMust]It's not crap at all and yea I guess I've let her walk all over me.
Guess if it's this obvious to strangers I shouldn't be questioning whether to end it or not.[/quote]

If you think she'll change into a better person when you two get married, then you're retarded.
If she does not benefit your life while you do, why keep her?
Life isn't a charity, so stop giving free handouts, you deserve better than that.

It's not crap at all and yea I guess I've let her walk all over me.
Guess if it's this obvious to strangers I shouldn't be questioning whether to end it or not.

move on. she no longer enhances your life

Do you still have those things in your pants? Dump her and move on.

Either, 1. This is all bull crap.
or 2. You're too passive and she's walking all over you; stand up for yourself (break up with her)

I try to forgive and see the best in people but I know I'm partly dumb staying together for what I have. Idk how to just give myself the strength to end this and be able to deal with it on my own.