Have the mushie not die yet, then it follows it and goes all digimon on him(orange mushroom, green mushroom, blue mushroom, mushmom, blue mushmom, and ofc it's evil forms, zombie mushroom and zombie mushmom). Yep.
...Ugh. Okay, this is in dire need of some constructive criticism. 1. Please don't use bleeding cowboy. Everyone online took a vote, and we're all sick of it. It's not original or fresh anymore. 2. Your writing could use some work. The jokes are stale. I'm not even sure they're jokes. 3. Speaking of writing, never, ever use emoticons, unless the character is reading something (but even then, they're completely unnecessary). If you want to use a "" face, make the character portray it. If the character is already portraying it, there is absolutely no need to use it again. Do realize that we read the chat bubbles as if the person is actually speaking. From where I'm from, nobody says "COLON D." 4. Why are the hands backwards in panel 3? What in the world is that in panel 4? Attention to detail would be really nice. 5. Why on earth are you letting Basilers decide what happens this early on in the plot? Honestly...it's your first issue, and you haven't even decided for yourself if a character stays or vanishes? What kind of framework is this?
Final verdict: This comic needs a lot of work. I don't see anything that sets it apart from any other generic comic on here, but you can redeem it if you start putting some originality into it. Not selling yourself out to the audience would help, too.
I like it, and the sun made me giggle. I would suggest using a different font or color of font though, since the lines that aren't in speech bubbles seem to get harder to see with the background. I'm sure there's a type that outlines the letters in black or something.
Ah the map from the first Final Fantasy Tactics, THAT was a good game T.T Hail Ramza. Nice clean comic, keep it up. Your little paint brush effects, lol.... XD
Keep the Mushroom in. Do NOT ask viewers for what they want to see on a regular basis though; it ruins the comic. Also, re-title seems a bit necessary. +1
47 Comments • Newest first
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! ;D
I have great Acorn hair <3
Lol paint effects
[quote=Calvin8D]No, it's not.
Nice try though.[/quote]
Thanks sir, you just gave me a good laugh!
LOL, final fantasy tactics world map FTW
Keep the mushroom!
@above, I think the map is laying on a surface and he's resting on it.
But crap, I recently submitted a drawing and I just realized I chose the same font as you LOL.
I would love to be a cameo, the mushroom should become his trusted helpful pet/sidekick.
I'm up for a cameo.
lol mushie... EAT IT >
i wanna be in a cameo to xD
the mushie should be eaten, then disappear
This is my reaction to that sad mushroom D:
"Awwww *in high pitch* D: Poor thing.."
It's really good. The story makes sense.
But IMO I think you should remove the smiley faces in your script. And just put the facial expression on the character, if you know what I mean.
I wouldnt mind being in your cameo
and leave the mushroom in
[quote=Calvin8D] This is pretty much you complaining about a bunch of unimportant trivial crap.
[/quote]
Sadly, the unimportant trivial crap is also actually very important. It is giving attention to details that make something better :].
I like what you did on the map panel.
Have the mushie not die yet, then it follows it and goes all digimon on him(orange mushroom, green mushroom, blue mushroom, mushmom, blue mushmom, and ofc it's evil forms, zombie mushroom and zombie mushmom). Yep.
Wow this is a pretty good comic haven't seen one in a LONG time. I also want that msuhy to stay .
I'm up for a cameo! ;3
I want to see this avatar inside a comic.
Speedo~
(
I just knew that was the Final Fantasy Tactics map!
I want the mushroom to die.
LOL at the pokemon system.
The sweating looked really good.
Good job on the comic man, you deserve my like. I look forward to seeing the next issue.
Keep it in.
...Ugh. Okay, this is in dire need of some constructive criticism.
1. Please don't use bleeding cowboy. Everyone online took a vote, and we're all sick of it. It's not original or fresh anymore.
2. Your writing could use some work. The jokes are stale. I'm not even sure they're jokes.
3. Speaking of writing, never, ever use emoticons, unless the character is reading something (but even then, they're completely unnecessary). If you want to use a "" face, make the character portray it. If the character is already portraying it, there is absolutely no need to use it again. Do realize that we read the chat bubbles as if the person is actually speaking. From where I'm from, nobody says "COLON D."
4. Why are the hands backwards in panel 3? What in the world is that in panel 4? Attention to detail would be really nice.
5. Why on earth are you letting Basilers decide what happens this early on in the plot? Honestly...it's your first issue, and you haven't even decided for yourself if a character stays or vanishes? What kind of framework is this?
Final verdict: This comic needs a lot of work. I don't see anything that sets it apart from any other generic comic on here, but you can redeem it if you start putting some originality into it. Not selling yourself out to the audience would help, too.
The mushie should be a buddy...or it can be eaten XD
I wanna be in the cameo(whatever that is) too
Can I be in a cameo? Thanks.
I say I would keep the mushroom might be useful in the story. By the way I would be in cameo.
I like it, and the sun made me giggle. I would suggest using a different font or color of font though, since the lines that aren't in speech bubbles seem to get harder to see with the background. I'm sure there's a type that outlines the letters in black or something.
Also keep the Mushroom
Cameo? LET THE MUSHIE LIVE!
I wanna be a villain that turns good
or a ghost
Or that shroom you just killed
Or anything actually
mushroom should be the main char totally.
Ah the map from the first Final Fantasy Tactics, THAT was a good game T.T Hail Ramza.
Nice clean comic, keep it up. Your little paint brush effects, lol.... XD
I like the comic. Keep shrrom and make him grow to mushmom or something. And I wanna be a cameo.
I'd like to be a cameo...whatever that is.
Put the mushie in but don't let some1 eat it. When he tries to eat it the mushie must transform in Mushmom
Keep the Mushroom in. Do NOT ask viewers for what they want to see on a regular basis though; it ruins the comic. Also, re-title seems a bit necessary. +1
I want the mushroom in
I won`t mind being a cameo,
mail me and i`ll send you a link with my looks
The fight remembers me of Final Fantasy. What's a "cameo"?. If it has something to do with appearing in the comic, I'm in
I think i'd be great for a cameo, and I love the mushroom! Looks like it could be a good comic!
Cameo, please.
nice comic, simple and sweet + 1 like
Very interesting comic, I really enjoy the fight system, bring back good memories XD
Oh, and I wouldnt mind being in a cameo either.
Im up for a cameo (:
I cant read whats in one of the panels, and its hard in another as well. But overall, nice.
oh let the mushie in it! i should be in the cameo just reading something
I want the mushroom to be the main character too, I don't really like that Ash Ketchum thing guy.
You might want to pay a little bit more attention to aligning and typography :o.
+1 like put the mushie in >