Satori and Syaoron seem like a good pair... What am I saying!? Satori and Kariya are more like it... Ifrit, guardian of the Fire Orb... You're finished!
The Fire Orb is as good as ours... You know, these descriptions are starting to get REALLY cheesy.
PS. How's the new Banner and Background? I was told that the banner was sloppy and that the background should be changed. Well, I took that advice and changed them both.
August 2, 2010
24 Comments • Newest first
Lawl TWEWY reference ^^
I'll bet you a couple million dollars...nay...a couple million british pound, that you're not japanese. good artwork, but the usage of japanese names completely ruins the comic.
lol it doesnt make any sense =o
Heres what i think should be changed in this comic.
-The names. I think i might know where you got "Satori" from, One piece right? because shes on a cloud and such. Also the names just seem too foreign and cheesy, just try something formal.
-The characters' looks. i seriously don't like the overuse of NX, it makes the characters look colorblind or just don't know how to correctly dress. Also the chat bubbles, normal chat bubbles would be reasonable..
-The grammar, lines, and overall story. Try fixing up the grammar and such, and the storyline seems REALLY cliche.
-The flashy skills. No no no no NO NO NO! Over-usage of skills = BAD.
and try organizing your panels a little better.
Was this supposed to make sense? Because it doesn't make sense. It feels like you didn't want it to make sense.
In my opinion, NICE Comic! Nice Story line!
I don't get this....
._.
I would suggest not using bannedstory chat bubbles.
But Idunno why. It just irks me.
Also try using blurs? I never made a comic, but blurs make me happy. Don't overuse though.
[quote=kandicandii]Dragon Ball Z much?[/quote]
That's what I thought of right when I read "I have to gather the 7 orbs" in one of the last ones.
[quote=Kichura]Yeah, I remember Freelancers. That was one of my favorite comics too. Why aren't any of the really good comics being completed though? Freelancers was cancelled, and wasn't Maple Legends stopped too?
This comic was distorted because it had to be lowered in Size slightly to lower the File Size. It was at about 460KB at 800 Pixel width, so I shrunk the whole image by 5%. That resulted in the image becoming about 425 KB, with the Pixel Width changed to about 760KB. Sorry about the Quality screw up XD[/quote]
Good comics take a long time to make. Eto's a mod now, so that may explain the lack of Maple Legends.
I suggest you cut out the banner and instead of using a background (behind the panels), just leave it black.
The banner is unnecessary and takes up space. Just "Extrusion - Part 4 by Kichura" can replace the banner and it'd serve the same purpose. Of course, you shouldn't just slap it on with Arial or something. Make it a bit fancy, but don't overdo it.
The background is definitely not needed. In fact, it can actually confuse readers. The empty space between panels (like around panel 4) shouldn't be colorful and/or distract readers. People may confuse it for an actual panel, instead of just a background. Stick with one solid color (I personally like black).
Dropping both will result in a lower file size and higher quality.
And like others said, you should work on your panel sizes/arrangement/layout.
They combined into a tranny.
Gosh you guys are harsh.
The comic maker is just trying to have fun making a comic and posting it on Basil.
Doesn't mean to go ape-crap on him.
Yeah, I remember Freelancers. That was one of my favorite comics too. Why aren't any of the really good comics being completed though? Freelancers was cancelled, and wasn't Maple Legends stopped too?
This comic was distorted because it had to be lowered in Size slightly to lower the File Size. It was at about 460KB at 800 Pixel width, so I shrunk the whole image by 5%. That resulted in the image becoming about 425 KB, with the Pixel Width changed to about 760KB. Sorry about the Quality screw up XD
He never put "epic" in the title, wtf?
[quote=Piyohonke]Fire and orb may not be proper nouns, but the item "Fire Orb" for the story can be a proper noun because "Fire Orb" is a name for a specific item.
OT: I kind of like it, I kind of don't I think this guy nailed most of my concerns though so, good luck.[/quote]
The comic [i]is[/i] a little bit sloppy. Some words overlap the edges of the talk bubbles and the NX and GFX collide.
A good comic example would be SilverFox. He made the "Freelancers" series that went on for quite a while until he left BasilMarket on account of real life problems. He even made a comic for announcing his leave.
I thought he was the best BM comic maker I saw on BM.
[quote=SnailTrail]Wait what?[/quote]
Anthony
I'm going to give you some honest constructive criticism, contained in bullet points. I believe you could benefit from it.
-Please, don't overuse NX. I know you think it makes your comic look interesting. It doesn't. The quote rings, floating capes, color-coordinated pajamas, etc. are all unnecessary. Make the outfits simple and memorable, not nauseating and vomit-inducing.
-While we're on the topic of nausea, I don't understand what you were trying to do with the green background. Red and green are colors that don't really mix well, unless you were aiming for a sort of X-mas feel. It's August now.
-Your writing, in general, could use some work. Why did you give them the names they have - do you actually know what they mean (and implemented them for that purpose), or did you just think they sound "cool" because they're foreign? Did it actually take that many panels and that much dialogue to show them killing Ifrit, considering the fact that it went down in one hit? A little bit of forethought could stop mistakes like these from ever happening.
-Lastly, your grammar and panel organization are sloppy. For example, fire and orb are two words that are not proper nouns. This means they don't need to be capitalized. The same could be said of light, elemental, and shrine. I don't think I need to elaborate on what I mean when I say your panel organization is sloppy.
I don't get it.
[quote=Przndude]"Looks big"
"Here he comes"
Errrr...[/quote]
This. I Couldn't help but to laugh xD
This is exactly the reason why I don't bother looking at screens any more.
I suggest you read up on some tutorials about comic making...
http://maplemation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6068
http://maplemation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6278
http://maplemation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6281
Kinda too cliche, you hear? Cliche.
I expected something worthy of this comic, but... Meh, it's getting grinded to the B+ most of the time..
Ohhhhh boy in a girls body?
hehehe..... LOL
weird.... how do you press shift in rl?
Wait what?