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sup basil how is my poem

so i wrote this poem

i see it
or do i?
a distant mirage on the horizon
like a fading desert
the infint grains of sand slipping through my fingers

so yeah

im kind
tripping right now. and. im not sure if its good or like terrible or what so./ yeah. what do you think. <3

edit:i mean tripping like tripping over a tree branch lolol

March 25, 2013

11 Comments • Newest first

Retrospectus

So i ask you, does this poetry have a concept?
It'd be easier to comprehend if you have one in mind.

Reply March 29, 2013
polardare

w0ah that was so deep. like it's in your hands, but it's slipping away. damn. i have so many feels right now man.

Reply March 25, 2013
sidleyhatesyou

Uhhmm I'm not one for poetry at all but I can understand poetry for the most part and honestly that wasn't very powerful

Maybe get all sad and stuff then try again

Reply March 25, 2013
Jedi

May the force be with you.

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
LordVoldemort

@jedi i shall grant you permission to turn it into a song young padawan

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
Jedi

Can I turn it into a song?.

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
AnasF

Your poetry strikes me,
Like a dull spoon on the skull.
My head aches in awe,
As I try to comprehend.
What is this.

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
LordVoldemort

@altersniper okay...im having trouble understanding what youre saying. but i think i get it.

response: i like taking walks through the woods but often times they are bad for me so i dont take walks in the woods very often. but ha you are wrong because i am not trying to land a dream job and the only drug test im going to fail is the one my parents are making me take......

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
darkchaso69

pretty less than average for a ametuar poet

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited
mp003

wtf is this?

this isn't a suitable love poem.

i am disappoint.

Reply March 25, 2013 - edited