I put myself i a bad situation
So to start off, one of my closest friends, a brother to me, was dating a girl and told me that they ended it and he told me that he was single, and it was obvious with the way he made out with another girl at a party.
Then out of no where the girl he was talking to, which I had only met once adds me on facebook and starts talking to me. We start to talk a lot and then she started hanging out with me a lot, almost to the point of everyday I would see her. I went in with a pure intention of being just friends, but I was blind to the fact that men and women can't be closest of friends without one developing feelings for each other.
This is where I started treading into deep waters. I hung out with her a lot, literally talk/ text every day, hours and truly began to enjoy the relationship we had. But then I started developing feelings. I had no intention of being sleezy behind my friend's back while he's in vacation in Thailand.
A girl that was smart, tall, beautiful, shared so many interests of mine, and was down to have a good time, how on earth could I not develop feelings. She was and is perfect in my eyes.
Two nights ago I asked her if she wanted to hangout, as in like grab a cup of tea at a cafe, but she wanted to roll with me and watch a movie. During the movie is when I started to think that something might happen between us, as I took her actions and words as flirting with me. During the movie, we were rolling and having a good time. Then She starts by feeding me gum into my mouth, taking my hat and putting it on and just giving my a heart stealing smile. I felt like I had the justice to assume that she was flirting with me. So she asks me during the movie if she wants to stay out the whole night, and I agreed to it. We went on adventures, meeting up with old friends and just relaxing, listening to good music. Then after a 5a.m. coffee break we decide we should get some rest. So we go to my house to watch a bit of a movie and we slept together in the same bed.
Honestly I believed that this was a bit to friendly to just call it just friends. But I was wrong. In the morning we talked about our situation and she told me that she's had a lot of friendships ruined because the guy fell for her. I mean isn't kind of obvious that a guy would fall for such a perfect girl? I told her it wasn't possible and that it would be hard for me and that sometime I would develop feelings for her.
Thing is, I told her that I thought she was single because of what my friend had told me and emphasized, but she stated that they were dating/talking. So I was in shock and so was she.
I don't want to ruin their relationship, mine with my friend, or my relationship with her. She's a great person, someone I really connect with, and I enjoy the company of.
I want to talk to my friend about the situation that's at hand and that I'm sorry for falling for this girl. But he's in Thailand for another week.
She told me she saw me as a good friend, but I mean, I feel like I had the justice to assume that she was flirting from what was going on the other night. What kind of girl hits up a guy, hangs out the majority of her break and rolls and spends the night with him to end up in his bed?
We didn't have sex, but still seems overly friendly for "just friends"
I want to me a man of honor and respect this girl but what do I do? Im in the situation where I don't to lose her as a friend but i still have feelings for her. But I can't try to pursue her because she was dating one of my best friends, and that it's pretty much one sided. What do you think basil? Personally right now I want to just wait and pursue her, no matter how long the time takes. I've literally met no girl like her, she fits everything I've wanted. I've been really depressed over this and the drugs isn't helping either. It's been running on my mind and I can't get her off my mind. What do you guys think?
tl;dr: A girl that was dating/ might be dating one of my best friends tried to be friendly, but it seemed really flirty, according to me and my friends I discussed it with. I starting hanging out and fall for this girl, but did not go in with that intention. Now I'm stuck in a situation where it's lose lose. The girl, and possibly my friendship with her.
13 Comments • Newest first
Save yourself and your friend from that woman.
Talk to your friend about the girl before pursuing her. If your friend doesn't have feelings for her and if you trust her enough then you should pursue her. Also ask her if she sleeps in other guys beds without the intent to have sex with them.
Sigh pretty girl messing with whoever they want.
for all intents and purposes you are nothing but her gay friend. You don't even have a di ck to her, so it doesn't matter what you want to happen or not, because it won't
One night stand
Ignore her advances. Play hard to get.
Did u bang doe?
picture or bs
I'd say you have to have a talk with both of them....
Wait for him to be back until you do anything with her but talk to her about her actions and how they made it seem the situation is.
If he has no interest in her and is a good friend he may feel sort of irritated but he'd be happy for you - but you also gotta consider her situation... if she likes you, she likes you. if not, she doesn't, and then don't bother her any further.
It's not really a big deal though, you can explain your friend the situation and make him understand you couldn't help but fall for her cause she definitely gave off the signs even if she didn't mean it.
Besides: She says she has feelings for your friend but does all of that with you?
As perfect as she may seem, think about it: So what if you two would date, she may just do the same with other guys whenever you're busy or something (or whenever you argue, even), would you be comfortable with that? Having her sleep in another guy's bed, even if she doesn't have sex with them?
Hmmm. This might seem rude but it's definitely a possibility. The girl might be the type who's not looking to settle down but instead wants to play around. I know a few girls who are like that.
[quote=Gmayn]staying up until 5 am together then sleeping together, that is adorable!
alk to your friend about it and see how he feels. If he says he wants her, let it be up to her to decide who she wants. Your friend will get over her if she picks you, and will get over any sort of fight you two have over this girl.[/quote]
couldnt tell if that was sarcasm in the first sentence, but she told methat she still had feeelings for him but after she found out he might be playing her she was upset..
[quote=LostMyJob]Why don't you talk to your "brother" about it?
If you really are good friends then don't be an asshole and steal his girlfriend[/quote]
He's in thailand and I want to talk to him face to face, and ps theyre not girlfriend and boyfriend.
Why don't you talk to your "brother" about it?
If you really are good friends then don't be an asshole and steal his girlfriend.
Okay, wait what? Your friend says he's not dating her but the girl says they're still dating?
Just stay friends with the girl. Wait till your friend comes back from thailand then see how they get along. If they aren't together then ask her.
staying up until 5 am together then sleeping together, that is adorable!
alk to your friend about it and see how he feels. If he says he wants her, let it be up to her to decide who she wants. Your friend will get over her if she picks you, and will get over any sort of fight you two have over this girl.