Female friend starts ignoring me out of the blue
So about a year and a half ago, I became friends with a girl, around my age, who was very fun to hang out with during my high school junior year.
We've shared several great laughs together, along with some of my other friends.
Then about a month ago, moving on towards our senior years, I post some vague and depressing status on Facebook, she asks me what happened.
Seeing how we were gonna hangout along with my other friends at some random carnival over the weekend, I just decided I'll tell her then since it's a bit personal, and I trust her.
Weekend comes, we have some good laughs, and when I'm about to depart, I just hug all of my friends goodbye, including her. It just came across my mind to ask her if she was really wondering what happened the day I post the depressing status, and then she started hugging me much more closely (which really caught me by surprise, yet I managed to get comfortable). I briefly tell her about some personal issue that I have with my parents, then she just says "Oh, you'll get better." And that's it, then I just waved goodbye to her and the rest of my friends.
After that moment, she started to ignore me in the school hallways, seeming uninterested to talk with me any longer. It bothers me because she has never acted like this before.
I asked her one day why she's acting so cold to me, if it was a problem with me or not, and she's like "Noooo you're fine." When some of hers and my friends come around, she starts acting normal and cheery with them, but when I try to talk to her now, she either doesn't say anything or hardly responds.
I don't get it? Did I do something to make her mad? Did I somehow make myself unapproachable by venting out my depression on her?
I've been wanting to make amends with her for a while now because I miss all of the good times we've had,
but it's become harder since we don't share any classes for this year,
and I don't exactly want to bother her on Facebook over it because it's not like me to converse on Facebook for anything except homework discussions.
16 Comments • Newest first
We're having another carnival hangout this weekend with my other friends.
If she comes, I'm gonna try to initiate a few cheery conversations anymore, just to show that I'm not really as depressed of a kid as she probably thinks I am, and that I've been making progress in improving myself for the better.
Also, to be honest, I've been developing feelings for her too... is it too early/late to confess them?
I thought it was too late to do so because I've pretty much dropped myself in the friendzone from the start, but if she really has feelings for me, should I really confess to her?
I feel that it's a chance I have to take soon.
[quote=esteban]Idk I just see this happening in lots of threads you post in =P maybe it has something do to with your name.[/quote]
Ign or BasilID o.o I know my ign isn't really common for girls/girl character.. BasilId has something to do with sports so it's neutral (both genders can like it).
to me it sounds like she has feelings for you since she hugged you more closely (or maybe she did that cuz you were depressed), after that chat you had with her maybe she was expecting something more from you but didnt get it. Maybe that caused her to feel sad and such around you.
Obviously if you ask a girl "there's a problem with me?" shes usually not gonna say yes... She also acts sad around only you, so its a sign it has something to do with you and she wants your attention
i dunno, im a guy and i dont speak girl language so thats what im guessing from reading this
[quote=Laker1294]Lol..IDK.. I just don't want to be seen as a G.I.R.L.[/quote]
Idk I just see this happening in lots of threads you post in =P maybe it has something do to with your name.
Girls are complicated creatures bro. She's probably dealing with something in her life or confused. The best thing to do is just to leave her alone for at least a month. If she doesn't come talk to you by then go ahead and send her a text or something. It tends to drive girls crazy when someone seems to lose interest in them, be it as a friend or a lover. Keep trying to make contact at this point will probably push her away.
[quote=esteban]You love proving your a girl eh? [/quote]
Lol..IDK.. I just don't want to be seen as a G.I.R.L.
[quote=Laker1294]Perhaps..my friend didn't want to deal with my depression and requested that I went to therapy (we're both girls). You should seek professional help..it's more effective and people don't usually like to deal with unhappy people..[/quote]
You love proving your a girl eh?
the fact that she started ignoring you after you told her.. it makes her seem like a bad friend.
.. like someone who is unwilling to help and support you, or just doesn't want to be around an unhappy person.
if she stopped talking to you because she doesn't want to be around you cause you're sad, and whatnot, then she really isn't that good of a friend at all.
what she said to you after you told her seems like she just doesn't wanna deal with this.
thinking about this is kinda saddening.. ;__;
..I thinks you best not overthink this too much. Maybe she has some problems of her own to deal with too. Or whatever you said may have changed her thoughts about you.
Chill & relax~
Ok, I'm not depressed like this ALL the time.
About a few days after the hangout, I got over the problem and tried to have some cheery conversations with her, and that's when I suspected the problem.
No way in hell am I trying to use her as an emotional crutch or anything like that, maybe for that ONE incident briefly, but not anymore.
Also, I don't know about anyone else, but if anyone ever came to me to talk about their problems, I'd gladly listen on them.
Well, i think she's telling you to stop being so depressed so much and she doesn't know what to say about it. I don't know if you hate or not, but being with someone who's always sad, get's annoying to them because you can't get over it or deal with it.
[quote=MusicalAryama]She seemed like she was eager to know what was going on... maybe she just expressed her empathy very adequately?
Many of my other friends don't offer that kind of support to me...[/quote]
maybe she thinks you're getting too close to her? maybe she thinks you're trying to get with her, but she just wants to stay as friends? idk also same thoughts as the 2nd poster. I don't think she's that good of a friend.
[quote=MusicalAryama]She seemed like she was eager to know what was going on... maybe she just expressed her empathy very adequately?
Many of my other friends don't offer that kind of support to me...[/quote]
Perhaps..my friend didn't want to deal with my depression and requested that I went to therapy (we're both girls). You should seek professional help..it's more effective and people don't usually like to deal with unhappy people..
[quote=Laker1294]Maybe she's not interested in talking about depressing topics and doesn't want to deal with them. She sounds like she's not a good friend..[/quote]
She seemed like she was eager to know what was going on... maybe she just expressed her empathy very adequately?
Many of my other friends don't offer that kind of support to me...
Maybe she's not interested in talking about depressing topics and doesn't want to deal with them. She sounds like she's not a good friend..
girls man. girls.