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The zombie apocalypse has started- In Miami

http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html

To summarize the article- A naked man had to be killed by cops after EATING THE FACE off another man!

And don't tell me "oh, it's just 1 isolated incident". That's how zombie plagues start- with 1 person. Just wait until after the holiday weekend when the morgue opens back up and poor, lovable Randy the mortician who likes to eat sandwiches while performing autopsies, opens up the freezer to pull this 'druggie' out of the freezer for the autopsy... We all know what happens next. Soon Randy's undead too and running out into the streets of Miami, just as the summer break college kids are heading into town...

And don't forget my friends- headshots and crippling/incapacitating limb shots. Center mass body shots have no effect! Good luck!

[b]May 30th ADDITIONAL ZOMBIE ATTACKS in Baltimore[/b]

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2012/05/31/man-denied-bail-after-dismembered-body-parts-found-in-home/

[b]May 28th BREAKING ADDITION[/b]: And now it spreads- Men cutting out their own intestines and throwing them at cops...

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/05/29/police-hackensack-man-stabbed-himself-threw-his-skin-and-intestines-at-officers/

See, it spreads. Sure the cover story is still "It's just drugs causing people to go crazy". Suuuuuure... that's what they all say.... right before the zombie hordes come!

Edit: I realize some people may want to assume that it's a simple drug-crazed cannibal. I don't think we can afford to take that chance. The only thing to do is assume Zombie Plague and start lopping off heads. If we're wrong, we go to jail, peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if we're right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.

May 27, 2012

41 Comments • Newest first

myrdrex

Breaking news- new zombie attacks in Baltimore!

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2012/05/31/man-denied-bail-after-dismembered-body-parts-found-in-home/

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
dwagonslay

Makes me really consider living past the age of 30.
As if 17 years on this f^cked up planet isn't enough.

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=momotaro]crap, the scourage is coming.[/quote]

No worries- look on the bright side, maybe we'll get to meet that cutie Milla Jovovich as she comes and saves our butts from the evil Umbrella Corporation that is surely behind these recent attacks...

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
desimator546

http://i.imgur.com/YWLHn.jpg - Face

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562444_299448936811545_118192184937222_652548_139946500_n.jpg - Crime scene

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
trainwreckxxx

[url=http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4v1bfA70Y1qzi6i8o1_500.jpg]Sup?[/url]

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
032193sid

I saw this a couple days back haha! I will be more wary of hobos when I'm out clubbing in downtown Miami lol

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
Azith

The news guys are saying that he was on MDPV or mephedrone, not PCP or LSD.

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
hirrho

He was on lsd. My first thought was pcp. The zombie apocalypse has not fallen upon us.

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
Azith

Might be time to use my zombie eradicating plan. Basically involves tying some volunteer as live bait in the middle and having this nice convenient chasm all around. Blast music to get all the zombies from all over to be attracted to the bait, where they will shamble and fall into the chasm to their graves. Hopefully permanently this time

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
Azith

[quote=RyuuseiRyu]A ton of awesome stuff[/quote]

Don't forget the simplest thing that will stop zombies in their tracks - rigor mortis. Zombies might last for a few hours without a meal, oxygen, and water. Without the necessary ATP being made to supply the muscles, they'll just lock up and become paralyzed. Kind of like being dead, except paralyzed and undead .

Reply May 31, 2012 - edited
XronellX

Common guys its all just lie....AHHHHH! I SEE A ZOMBIE! </3 </3 </3 Wait...that was just a mirror ._. >.<

Reply May 30, 2012 - edited
FatHamster

TO THE BATMOBILE! -batman theme music-

Reply May 30, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=Jobrjo]It has begun
http://thirtysecondstomars.thisisthehive.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/avatar81.jpg[/quote]

Now that's a picture of someone I want by my side in the upcoming inevitable battle against the hordes! You have given me confidence that we may yet live to see this thing through.

Reply May 30, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

And now it spreads- Men cutting out their own intestines and throwing them at cops...

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/05/29/police-hackensack-man-stabbed-himself-threw-his-skin-and-intestines-at-officers/

Reply May 30, 2012 - edited
anatyefet14

i think they would have mentiond if the officer shot him in the head, if he didnt that means its not a "zombie"...

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
Fourton123

[quote=braunter123]I puked a little in my mouth.[/quote]

Wussy.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
BurnedFrozen

[quote=Gunhearts]Actually, this would be a good time. The mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012, so assuming the apocalypse is now, this is the beginning of the end.[/quote]

Humans die to zombies in 7 months? That's pretty long. I say 1 month at most.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
JaysonHoang14

I just bought an airsoft gun yesterday, time to return it!

Poor guy though, wish him well.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=33ask11]did the guy rise up ? the walking dead m/[/quote]

Not YET... But we've all seen this before.

First it's one guy biting the face off another. "Oh, he's just on drugs" everyone says.

When the morgue opens back up on Tuesday and Randy the goofy yet lovable mortician pulls him out of the freezer (while eating a sandwich of course- showing how he is unphased by death), he'll start prepping the dead 'druggie' for the autopsy.

When randy has his back turned to the 'druggie' on the slab, he'll hear a metal pan fall to the ground. Wondering who could have possibly knocked it over (since it's just him and the 'dead' guy), poor Randy will turn around. That's when he'll get a split second glipse of the undead creature.

Later both Randy and the original 'druggie' (which we'll now know to be a zombie) will walk out into the streets of Miami, just as all the college kids are arriving for Summer Break.

A few kids will get little bites from some silly 'druggie' and head to Miami International Airport and fly back home, thinking nothing of it. Until, of course, they get sick a few days later... Yup, it's all over folks.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
33ask11

did the guy rise up ? the walking dead m/

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
timmybitty

This thread is so awesome.

OT: I'm pretty sure it's just a crazy guy but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
Gunhearts

[quote=BurnedFrozen]damnit this is 7 months early zombies please leave[/quote]

Actually, this would be a good time. The mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012, so assuming the apocalypse is now, this is the beginning of the end.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=Snovvy]Look at the comments, and watch the videos. The story was sensationalized, and even had many things made up. Basically, it's a fake story.[/quote]

We can't take that chance. 6 shots to stop a man from eating another person's head? That just screams zombie.

Oh sure- "He's just on drugs"- that's what the all say--- Right before the lone mortician in the morgue goes to do the autopsy and the 'dead' man gets up and bites him. Then there's 2 zombies- and they bite 2 friends, and they bite 2 friends...

The only sane, logical, and level-headed thing to do at this point is to assume the zombie plague has finally arrived. Years of "what would you do in a Zombie Apocalypse" books and threads have finally paid dividends.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
BurnedFrozen

damnit this is 7 months early zombies please leave

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
bumblexxxbee

its this drug that makes ppl like zombies and will do what they are told.

Reply May 28, 2012 - edited
Levity

Someone might wanna keep an eye on that guy in the hospital...

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
lmm616

I have read The Zombie Survival Guide book and this might possibly be a class one outbreak, but come on. I'm pretty sure the dude was using PCP. And if he was a zombie, then that amount of law enforcement in the video was obviously enough to put him down.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
foxxman301

I thought it was just the guys nose. Whatever.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
ThanhnuFia

Oh joy, my Christmas present came early f3.
OT: Two things I need to point out: The article never mention where the last shot hit, it could penetrate the attacker's heart, or neck. Doesn't have to shot someone's head to kill them.
Second, I believe most of you already know that, ahem, 'zombie' get distracted by sounds easily. The attacker is clearly high if after half a dozen of gun shot and he still haven't backed away until he was killed off. So therefore, Z-day haven't start yet.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
KrnKiddo

Thats just sick....

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=ChrisChrisChris]According to the Zombie Survival Guide...rule #4, blades don't need reloading.[/quote]

I love that book!

Good point though, we should make sure our fellow basilers are prepared. If they don't have time to Amazon the book before the impending zombie plague sweeps past Miami into their part of the world, here's the short list:

1) Organize before they rise!
2) They feel no fear, why should you?
3) Use your head: cut off theirs.
4) Blades don't need reloading.
5) Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6) Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7) Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8) Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9) No place is safe, only safer.
10) The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Good luck, stay safe!

@bleachgod1 We can't take the chance that it's anything as simple as drugs. The only safe thing to do is assume Zombie Plague.

If we're wrong we go to jail, peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if we're right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters!

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
ChrisChrisChris

[quote=myrdrex]There's no time for emotion when the zombies are at our doorstep! Shoot, move, reload. Shoot, move, reload.[/quote]

According to the Zombie Survival Guide...rule #4, blades don't need reloading.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
NonSonoFronz

I saw this earlier, and the first thing that came to mind when I saw the headline was "PCP".

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
ZombieOverlord

[b][i]Oh drat, we've been found out![/i][/b]

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=braunter123]I puked a little in my mouth.[/quote]

There's no time for emotion when the zombies are at our doorstep! Shoot, move, reload. Shoot, move, reload.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
ClementZ

All of my what.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
FlyingAlmond

omg it's timmmeeee

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
MatthewDough

Well, that sucks for the guy who had half his face eaten off. </3

At least now he might have the nickname Two-Face now.

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited
WetDuck

YES.
ALL OF MY WANT.

(I feel horribly for the victim, though. Couldn't even imagine the terror.)

Reply May 27, 2012 - edited