General

This thread still up? Doesn't threads get locked up after 2 weeks? Or something? (R.I.P. Basil)

I guess you take things to the heart too much and get hurt way too easily. Also sounds like you haven't met enough people in your life for you to say that "every male human that I have ever come in contact with has actually been crushed on." And I highly doubt you're a nuisance to everyone you know. Either that or you're hiding in a cave. But then how do you have access to the internet?

Your life isn't limited to your school environment. I've dropped out of work multiple times because of how shiPOOPtty the environment is. If you don't do anything for a change then chances are it's gonna keep happening. Not everyone is gifted with good looks and smart brains. You just have to work for it. You also gain experience from the process of attempting to achieve something and you should make that your strength. When you're born into wealth, good looks, intelligence, etc., you don't get the experience from the process of trying to achieve something that you already possess.

I've had very few friends but I'd managed to enjoy my time at school with the friends that I've already had. I was an extremely awkward kid, very much like you are now, no offense but just saying.

man yall soundin like a buncha dweebs lol
so much cancer and saltyness here

Ok. I was that complete loner. I had glasses. I am asian. I slouched. Thats what i look on the OUTSIDE. Be proud of yourself! Be that weird outgoing dude! Talk to EVERYONE! literally. Be yourself. Don't hide in a shell! In the inside, I was always alive. I never showed myself. I was just a big chubby asian dude. I was 5 feet 5 before my growth spurt. I was big and FAT. Then, today, I'm not like that. People flock to me. Gaining confidence in myself really helped. Also, it doesn't matter if girls aren't into you! You're sixteen! You have 20 years until you start turning ugly! Also, I've had those times when I want to kill myself. No joke. But try to be happy and achieve what you can! Talk to people, be nice, keep on trying! You will always have a lover.

A few months ago I made a thread about a friend of mine who went against my advice and moved in with a girl he just started to date. Last week, they broke up and he called me to tell me he should have listened to me.

Enjoy being single, having a gf is just work. If you really want a gf, just ask a hefty girl out. If a fatty rejects you too, then lol.

@nightshade: Having been in a relationship before means nothing whatsoever. It doesn't increase, decrease or establish value. (though then again if someone dates 20 people in 10 months you'd think something is up with them lol)
Hormones do suck ass but in a few years you'll be through the worst. I'm 12 years older than you and boy life is a lot different (and in many ways 100x better).
You're not obligated to date or get married, most important is to do what fulfills you. Life slows down a little once you hit your 20s and it's more relaxed. While others have relationship drama and focus on the wrong crap you should just enjoy being young right now.
Heck I'm glad I'm not dealing with raging hormones anymore lol. You'll be fine!!

@readers: Of course I have problems, everyone does. But I'm mature enough to think about it in a big perspective and not write a tumblr pity rant about myself hoping to find a safe space of hugs and kisses.

@distantsky: But just because those issues you mentioned are more pressing than his, doesn't mean that the things he is facing aren't problems at all, or that those problems can even be comparable to each other... sure, a child starving in Africa is a big thing, but by your logic, that means that any problems that you are having aren't even problems at all and should thus be ignored and you should be denigrated because a child starving in Africa is all that matters and you can't always handle your own problems since nobody is perfect, so you yourself might as well be a wuss.

I get the sentiment, perhaps he is overreacting and exaggerating the extent of his issues, but don't be that person.

@bronight: Good. Natural selection is working as intended. Europe is in ruins, free speech is crumbling before our eyes, the world's climate will continue to be exacerbated, and a crazy gook in a small authoritarian country is playing with nuclear launch codes. If this cuck can't get over a girl, he can't face the real problems.

^^kid is depressed and who knows he might become suicidal or have thoughts of wanting to end his life because it often happens that way. whatever it is it is in fact serious. to be honest you're a real prick for that.

@upcomingnerd: These are real serious issues I'm having here and I'd thoroughly appreciate it if you stopped laughing and telling me I was whiny and annoying. Stop.

@luckysausage: I get good grades. My GPA is a hair under 4.0 right now but this is the one thing I'm stressing out about is all. Thanks though.

@readers: Yeah I get you man. I already know adulthood is a lot different but you know what 16 year olds are like I'm sure. Our hormones are quite wild right now so for me, it's kind of hard to see a bunch of girls that I find really really attractive only for them to go after other guys and turn me down. It's really painful.

@nashi: Yes I know but what I seem to think is that at least they have been in a relationship in the past before. Like at least they now know that they're good enough or whatever? Most of the decades you spend as an adult, if you can call it 8 or so, is spent while you're pretty elderly and you're probably just living with the woman you've already been with for plenty of years. Right now I'm 16 so I understand the part that my hormones are raging but that's what makes it suck.

@fradddd: It seems pretty similar to what I've been facing with quite a few girls. They act a lot like that.

@nightshade I mean the girl I've liked for...a while...often has excuses why she can't hang out, but that's cause she likes to keep busy all the time. But she *usually* doesn't try to reach out to me and figure out when we can actually both hang out, it's like she just waits for me to randomly ask her...yeah I dunno it's pretty messed up but I like when we're actually hanging out so I keep at it. I don't think she's TRYING to play games or anything, she just doesn't know what to do about it all.

But yeah, still, I have never known if any girl has had feelings for me. No girl has ever told me. No girl's friend has ever told me.

"Every single one of my friends has been in a relationship" Ok but how long did they last? Are they ongoing? are they healthy? is there a longterm plan?

Having a relationship really doesn't mean crap, y'all gotta get over "I'm 1x and haven't dated yet". You're a child and a teen for only so long. You got potentially about 8 DECADES of being an "adult". But you wanna spend the first 20 years breaking your head over such things as not having a failing relationship yet? come on.
Or so much as someone having a crush on you? It's not like you'd know. If you have a crush on someone you'd likely make sure it's hidden from them. You see people crushing on others from the outside, but there's no way of knowing who crushed on you and who didn't. And who cares, anyway?

Is someone falling for the image they have of you in their head (and mind you, crushes are really shallow and romanticized ideas and expectations people have) the only thing that can validate your existence? What does that say about you that you get worked up over such nonsense?

Just give it a few more years. Once you hit your 20's you'll chill out, you'll laugh at how silly you were years ago, and you'll curse the fact that soon (or already) ya gotta make money to pay the bills (or you'll have have both luck and your crap together and have a job you absolutely love and earn enough in to live a what you consider comfortable life)

@nightshade: Sure. But that's just because you're 16 and the people you're asking out are also 16 or around that age when nobody is behaving or thinking in any rational manner. When the human brain is still developing around that age, that's what tends to happen.

I might possibly be repeating myself here, but one thing is that you're 16. You are 16. You are not 28, you are not 45, you are not 73. You have a whole life ahead of you. It's normal to feel this way, but it also means you're not the only one who will be feeling this way at that age, and it also means that whatever you're thinking about yourself now isn't likely to apply even a few years from now. Unless you actually are a superhero with the capability to predict your own future and your own fate, there is no reason to think that you are incapable of getting a girl, and this will be even more evident once you get out of high school where you'll find yourself in a much larger pool full of girls who might potentially be interested in you than just the ones from school.

@nightshade
I've read that you got into arguments with others and they probably looked for ways to get back at you. This is why you should avoid them all together. My advice would be start focusing on other things like volunteering and being better at school. Also you have to be always positive around other people and it'll get you far (not saying you're not). You should start investing your time in getting very good at few things rather than being a jack of all trades (not saying you're a jack of all trades).

My advice might seem out of the blue, but the reason why I'm telling you this is because I've found it useful for keeping myself happy throughout highschool (just graduated). And also you'll increase your chances with attracting a girl when you volunteer, master a hobby and things like that. Appearance matters very little compared to whats inside imo.

@nightshade: LOL. You sound whiny and annoying, that may be why.

@fradddd But have you ever seen a girl lie to you just to avoid you? "Oh i dont know my number" if I ask her for her number or "oh I dont date guys who are younger than me" and then I see her date someone who's younger than her. My question to the world is how it's f**ken possible that every girl on this earth is so quick to say no to me but any other guy is good enough for them? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I paid a prostitute to do it with and she saw what I looked like and said "Yeah about that..." it's ridiculous. How? How? I just dont get it. Why is every other guy on this planet capable of making a girl have genuine feelings for him yet I'm completely incapable? I'm starting to feel sick to my stomach.

@beefly: It's been 6 years i lost the conversation..

@fradddd: in that case, @meiguihua can you describe to me what he said for you to do in order to turn him on?

@beefly nah dude it'd be better if everyone was corrupted at 13 and started having kids then like in prehistoric times.

lol its coo man. u got us. at least all of us will be alone 2gether

@meiguihua: shame on him for corrupting cute innocent beings

@beefly: We just talked and I been really uncomfortable when he talked sexually and he wanted me to turn him on sexually.... and I was 19.

@meiguihua: How was the date?

Same never had a boyfriend and I'm 23. Except I only dated one guy online.

@nightshade if it's just the mood then ya, I can relate to this a lot. Also never had a GF.
Never known if a girl has crushed on me.
Except I'm 20.

@readers: I haven't been diagnosed with clinical depression so in that case, it's just the mood.

@bleute: Yeah I agree. That seems consistent with the constant idea given to me by other people that those who peak early fail later. Thanks though.

@berserkerking: Not sure what you mean. Could you explain what that is?

@noodlenoodle: I loved reading all that you said. I appreciate it.

@kirenisa: Very sorry to hear that. Hope that it's been a lot better these days.

Oh boy does this hit home from when I was in school. I use to feel this way all of the time when I was younger. I honestly had a bad home life , school life , no friends and was "blessed" with bad physical traits that I even suffer from some incurable disorders today.

I won't sugar coat it school sucks and even after it sucks to.. however that's just life we have deal with what we have or improve it on our own.. I will say this much though a relationship won't magically make everything better , it helps but honestly it won't solve your problems.

Life still seems grim gold relationship and all. It just helps, but it isn't some magical life fix. You have to learn to deal with your depression on your own and pretend to be more positive to matter how difficult it maybe.. people love e personality traits being confident, good sense of humor and positive.

Don't worry about the people around you who are in relationships. Worry about yourself and your own life. Also you thinking of yourself as ugly may not be what other people think because beauty is subjective. You may find yourself ugly but I bet there are some people in your school who find you attractive. If anyone makes fun of you for not being in a relationship yet then so be it. If anything they may even have an unhealthy relationship for their immaturity. If you can't get "the girl of your dreams" go look for some one else. There's plenty of girls in this world that you can find. Not finding a girlfriend in high school doesn't mean you won't find one ever. You are still young and that shouldn't be your biggest concerned. As you said, you have depression so maybe focus more on how you can improve your mental health or cope with it. Most of all you should focus on your studies because if you get a girlfriend, she may distract you. I know at first this may not seem like an actual factor in a high school relationship but this kind of thing does happen. Besides that there's no need to worry about this. Continue to be a kid while you can because time goes by fast and before you know it you'll be an adult. Just have fun and ignore what other people say because in reality they're irrelevant. It's your life and only you can chose how you want to live it.

@nightshade I guess you never heard of backpage?

"16 and never had a girlfriend..."

I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend. It's not the end of the world.

When you're a teenager and your hormone level is >9000 it might seem like a big deal, but eventually you'll realize that there's more to life than dating. In the end it's all just chemicals in your brain signaling your body to find a mate. Don't let such a small and insignificant thing bring you down. Go out there and make a name for yourself by doing what you enjoy most, whether it's playing a musical instrument, joining a band, playing a sport, computer coding, breaking world records or whatever. Take the pain and anger of being rejected, and use it as your power to push your skills and talent beyond that of the average person. Make a name of yourself, and all of those people who treated you like dirt will look like fools because in the end, they are nothing but talentless haters. They'll be the ones begging you for friendship eventually, at which point you will be the dominant one.

@nightshade: Think he means clinical depression as a psychiatric diagnosis or depression as in the mood itself (or feeling sad).

Most people, when they state they "have" depression, tend to suggest the former.

@fradddd Wait, those don't mean the same thing? Sorry lol if that sounds stupid.

you have depression or you're depressed?

@nightshade: Yeah and that's when you know that that guy has put girls and social life before more important things and thus will be going NOWHERE after high school. You don't want to peak early. That's how you end up working at Jamba Juice when you're 34.

@upcomingnerd: Yeah well no girl was interested when I was happy being me.

@beefly: I'm sorry to inform you but you should really look up what a death run is =. I'll give you a paradon. Those videos you see on the internet about boot camp is nothing compared to the real FLEET marine force.

It is kinda funny though 😂.

@readers: Depression is a business. Mind over matter, I do believe that it can be snapped out of. But as in all businesses, if it were that simple as you say. There'd be no profit.

That's true but that's a dysfunctional relationship off of the bat. But in the end it's only an opinion.

You can't give up at 16 because life sucks; guess what?

Life is gonna suck unless you do something to make it better; and it's not easy but it's worth it.

@upcomingnerd: Iunno man, there are a lot of miserable girls out there who get into relationships for the wrong reasons. Misery loves company, as they say.

Your statements about depression would apply if depression as a mental illness is something that can be "snapped" out of, as you imply. If it were that easy I don't think clinical psychology and psychiatry would be much of a thing, nor would we say that there's any biological component to depression as the research suggests. But then again, to repeat, IDK OP's situation.

Serious talk now, let me ask you a simple question. Why would any girl be interested in someone who sees no value in themselves. You want a girlfriend you say, but you aren't happy being you. Why would any girl want to be a part of that. If you aren't even happy being yourself, how can you give them happiness. Stop being so selfish and childish. If you want a gf, first better yourself.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life is hard. It's hard for everyone and it only gets harder. There are countless people who endure depression but life doesn't stop there. Pick yourself up and move forward. The only thing pathetic in this situation is your whiny attitude.

Hey man, I know its a bit late here, but I'm also 16 years old. I think of myself as useless(because I am)I used to be shy talking to people and especially girls. I am usually a loner and am antisocial. But who the fk cares about a GF when you got waifus? Who needs a life if you have anime Yeah to conclude this, just find whatever you think is fun, and if it doesn't fit you then try something new. I've moved places and schools before, and I can tell you there are many different kinds of people everywhere, and if you're talking about 16 years old, I can tell you 99% of them are immature and I've never felt in the right place with them.

@xdarkshynobi: Okay, that last comment you said about the Marines.. I'm sorry but you sound like that one Navy Seal [url=http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/navy-seal-copypasta]Copypasta[/url] and it's just hilarious. [url=http://www.basilmarket.com/xdarkshynobi-Story-bavX2#46801216]Thanks[/url]

@keyan22 That can be hard sometimes. Ignoring their judgments. But thanks so much for your input.

@blazi4ever Very lengthy, well put together response. I got a lot of info from that so thank you.

@staplemory That's ok. It's the thought that counts. Thanks for offering that to me. Much appreciated.

I wrote around 6 to 7 paragraphs without copying it on clipboard lol. Unfortunately I got an error when I tried to post it and I lost my interest to write everything again. But I just want you to know that I'm here to help out. But skrew this site thoe.

It is very common for many men (and women) to never have any relationships until they reach their 20s/30s or even older. Speaking from my experience, I personally didn't enter my first one until 2 years ago (and we're still going strong together) and I'm nearing my mid-20s. I never got hit on during high school (or before, there were a lot of better looking people too), and ironically I didn't start getting hit on until I entered uni (I used to think I'm ugly all the time but luckily I gained better confidence in the appearance category...though I still think I'm an average Jane lol). But looks come second, and that's not a plausible reason for those guys to date me anyway. If people date each other solely because they're "hot," they're superficial, and they won't last long.

Unfortunately yes, a lot of people DO tend to be judgemental during HS years and stick within their cliques to make themselves look cool or better than others while they really aren't (and even after graduating from HS, but there will be people who do grow up and mature and others who just simply don't get out of their phase and continue to be superficial). I can definitely tell you that I was bullied a lot when I was just a kid (being in the coloured minority in my school) and as an unfortunate result, I became bitter for a very long time (things are much different and better today compared to nearly a decade ago, just don't become bitter yourself).

You are young, you are still growing (teenagers are still stabilising their emotions, maturity, their whole self as a person, etc; it's perfectly normal) towards adulthood and there's still plenty of time in the world for ya. Things will definitely change when you get older, there will be people who actually mature and learn to accept others for who they are rather than what they are. And for those who are stuck living as their past selves who continue to judge others and not learning how to grow up, sucks for them + that's not my problem to deal with (aka you're probably doing eons better than them self-wise); I have better people who deserves my time and effort attending to. The same said for the girls, there are simply some that aren't worth your time and you're better off spending the time focusing on yourself and waiting for the one who is worthy.

I'll do warn you that it takes a LOT of commitment towards keeping your relationship stable and steady, not just making time wise but emotional wise as well. I've seen a LOT of people from my HS who kept breaking up with their newest bf/gf and finds another person to date within a month or so (and the process repeats, these types of people tend to be the most miserable after HS).
Remember you should not be in a relationship for social status/popularity/an opportunity to brag to others, it is meant to be you and your partner's commitment to each other, not to other people.
^ Sadly, this was one of the main reasons why most of my peers back then entered into a relationship and how it easily ended in such a short time span (and those who were careful enough to not do this, they actually made it out together since high school but again, this is extremely rare) -- they only did it just to make themselves look good.

[And as a bonus loss, they often lose a LOT of friendships along the way as well. I knew someone who used to be my friend who never made time for us and only spent it solely with her bf, and look what happened? Her bf broke up with her and she conveniently had the time to make plans with us. I'm glad most of my peers who do have a S/O grew out of that phase and still find the time to spend time with their friends and make new ones.]

Overall sum: Quality of relationship > Quantity of relationships.

There's a time and place for everyone, keep true to yourself, remain kind, and stay strong -- you are not a nuisance. I know how hard it is to wait and/or get rejected (it happens, it's not the end), but you must give it time if you actually want to be with someone worthy. Most of all, feel better about yourself! You will always have plenty of room to grow, it won't ever stop at a certain age. I still have crap confidence in myself (huge inferiority complex as a bonus), but I'm still working on improving that area. But once you've seen how much you've improved yourself as an individual, you will feel proud of yourself for taking all of those small steps from the beginning.

I promise you it will all pay out, and you WILL shine brighter than those people in the end.
(Sorry for the super long post, I'm an old fart who was in a similar position and wanted to give you advice |D)

Ignore their judgements, it will only hold you back if you allow it to, children are ignorant, this is why they insult you, as for the depression, try therapy, waiting it out wont exactly defeat it, therapy could help (kind of helped me).

@bronight Thank you for that but I am judged to be honest. People at my school actually have made fun of me for not being in a relationship. Like for example some guy called me out in the middle of a crowd like "Hey bro, you ever kissed a girl before?" knowing full well I haven't as they all laughed. That's why I'm seeking a relationship.

@trueatheist Yeah, I know what you're saying. I have low self-esteem. Whenever I see myself in the mirror I ask myself how any girl could ever possibly like me because of my face. Its just the way I see myself.

It's completely normal to have not been in a relationship at 16 lol, you're young as hell bro. It just sounds like you have self-confidence issues, I mean you straight up called yourself hideous on an internet forum which kind of speaks for itself.. If you honestly think you look that bad then work on your hygiene, get a new haircut, start lifting weights and taking care of your body and you'll see your perspective on yourself gradually start to change. If you like a girl and she doesn't show interest back then forget about her and stop wasting your time, there are plenty more girls out there. You might feel like she's the one, but she isn't. Don't be too clingy when it comes to crushes, girls actually appreciate a guy who isn't needy and desperate. You can't expect to show any love for a girl when you don't even love yourself, work on yourself first dude and the girls will follow.

It's not pathetic if you've never had a girlfriend at 16. There are millions of people who are in their 20's and have never had a bf/gf. High school relationships are a waste bro. You don't need one right now I'm sure. And no one is judging you for that.

Wow. Thanks to so many of you for the kind and helpful replies. Some of these were so heartwarming to read.

@xdarkshynobi and @readers: I appreciated the advice from each one of you, so I hate to see that it's become a big argument. It's nothing to get too worked up over.