Had a quotbadquot day
So I'm a university student. I go to university in Philadelphia, and I was invited to come to a week-long conference in my home town, San Francisco. Naturally, I was happy, because I'm familiar with San Francisco and I could stay at my father's house and eat good food and sleep on a real bed and all that jazz. He was happy too: we're on good terms. Almost too good, because he spoils me a lot.
Well, my flight landed yesterday and I got a taste of just how good our relationship is. Practically since the moment I got up in the morning, he's been making me hang out with him everywhere. We ate fancy Asian food, went sightseeing at famous SF landmarks, ate more fancy Asian food, and thankfully by then it was pretty late, or else we would've gone to watch a movie too. That took up my whole day. And normally I wouldn't be complaining, because I was a starving student who really missed good Californian food.
But I am complaining, because I didn't fly home to relax and have fun. I flew home to go to this conference, give the talk I was asked to give, make business connections, and do work. The conference isn't the only thing on my plate: I'm prototyping a 3D bullet hell game, creating a website for the club I joined, trying to re-render my final animation so it has working particles, and buying all the materials/programs I need for my next set of classes. And I can hardly accomplish half of what I had planned, because my dad is taking so much of my time by being friendly.
What really ticked me off was my business cards. I had sent my business card design to a shop here in the Bay Area and was planning to pick them up today. But no: I couldn't even get two hours away from my dad during the day, he wanted to take me to the Golden Gate Bridge. So I ended up blowing off the print shop (without being able to notify them beforehand) and had to spend the day with my dad. The print shop is closed tomorrow, so I can't pick up my cards then. My conference starts Monday, two days from now. Long story short: I won't have my cards ready in time for the conference, and it's because my dad was spoiling me with tons of Asian food.
It's really kind of wrong for me to complain about my dad being too nice to me, but that's how it is. My stay here in California is meant to be a business trip, not a vacation. And my dad and I have been disagreeing about my mentality for a while now (again, not "disagreeing" as in a serious fight, just a conversation topic). He always wants me to prioritize my happiness, whereas I always want to prioritize my productivity and development potential. Eating lots of delicious food makes me happy, but missing out on my business cards hurts my productivity and development potential.
This is a weird situation, hence the quotes around "bad" in the title. I'm probably the only person I know who can complain about his parents being too nice to him. Is that shameful? It certainly is. That's why I'm venting all of this on Basilmarket rather than talking to anyone I know in real life. Anyway, vent over. No idea what this post was ever supposed to accomplish anyway.
13 Comments • Newest first
[quote=Croodle]Tell the guy one of your secrets to tell you (past). Cause' otherwise he's gonna be all
OH MAI GERD WHUT I DUN BELIV YU >:O
Maybe. Granted, I know nothing about how you act, so this is all an assumption.[/quote]
I think my past self would buy it, because it's not a really dramatic message. "Make your business cards now" is pretty acceptable and reasonable, but my past self would ignore a message like "there's a bomb in your apartment basement."
@ All the people saying I should talk to him: You're all right that he would probably understand, but the other thing is that I would feel guilty for not hanging out with him. Still, it's a good idea to say this to him. Thanks.
Work > happiness
Just sit your dad down and tell him that you two will get to hang out as much as you guys want as soon as you finish the stuff you have to!
Your dad sounds like a really understanding person, it would've been best to explain the fact that you came back regarding a business trip. If he's the type of person who would want you to prioritize your happiness, then I'm sure he's someone who would listen to what you would have to say. Good luck on your conference bud.
Sounds like you have a good dad LOL Dads get like that when they are older (you sound like you aren't a kid anymore) so naturally he might have realized he won't be around forever, you should also feel the same way.
Money and success are one thing but at the end of the day if your life goes to the toilet, will all of your business cards and connections really care about you? The answer is no and will always be no, don't convince yourself otherwise.
Take care of your business as fast as you can and enjoy your dad broski, maybe tell your dad "lemme just get all this crap done and we can chill!"
[quote=Omegathorion]Normally I would, really. Whenever I see these kinds of posts on Basil, I always say "show this post to the person you're talking about." But how can I say something like "stop being too nice to me"? From a certain perspective, I'm the villain here: I'm prioritizing personal growth over family love. If Disney was making a cheesy movie about this, it would be about my father slowly warming up the business-focused heart of his cold unloving son.[/quote]
Of course putting a negative spin on it or using ridiculous way of saying it sounds like it won't work. Your dad sounds like someone that will hear you out. Explain what you need to get done on this trip and you'd be more than happy to spend time with him when you have more availability. Just make him understand that your trip includes a checklist of things that need to get done first.
All this thread is is you hypothetically explaining this to your dad with the worst choice of words, ex. "Stop being too nice to me." You know that's not how you're going to explain it. Explain it with reason. Like I said, it sounds like your dad would at least hear you out.
[quote=Omegathorion]Probably, yes, if I had printed them out in Philadelphia before leaving and carried them with me. I should have done that. If you have a personal time machine, please go back a week and suggest this to me.[/quote]
Tell the guy one of your secrets to tell you (past). Cause' otherwise he's gonna be all
OH MAI GERD WHUT I DUN BELIV YU >:O
Maybe. Granted, I know nothing about how you act, so this is all an assumption.
[quote=foxree]If you had managed to finish the business cards early, would you have had time to spend with your dad and family?[/quote]
Probably, yes, if I had printed them out in Philadelphia before leaving and carried them with me. I should have done that. If you have a personal time machine, please go back a week and suggest this to me.
I am having a bad day too.
I am sick, sneezing and have a running nose.
Been in bed all day.
So you had a bad day.
[quote=Croodle]Perhaps you could just tell him about your current situation if you haven't already.[/quote]
Normally I would, really. Whenever I see these kinds of posts on Basil, I always say "show this post to the person you're talking about." But how can I say something like "stop being too nice to me"? From a certain perspective, I'm the villain here: I'm prioritizing personal growth over family love. If Disney was making a cheesy movie about this, it would be about my father slowly warming up the business-focused heart of his cold unloving son.
Perhaps you could just tell him about your current situation if you haven't already.
The life works strange wonders. I'd say just try and move on from what happened, your dad was excited to see you it seems.