Emotionally confused about this girl
Okay, so me and this girl have been talking a lot for around the past 12 months. We're really good friends and we're there for each other through each others ups and downs and always supportive of each other. She helped me through when my ex cheated on me and I've been there for her when a guy was leading her on majorly yet he didn't like her (it tore her apart because she becomes attached very quickly and I think the insecurities have carried through) . Anyways, last night I had a new year's gathering at mine and she was there. She got drunk pretty quickly and she wanted to dance with me and she started touching me and saying weird things like "Ooo is that a six pack" while stroking my stomach (Lol I don't have one).
Eventually she said she wanted to speak to me alone and she confessed that she's liked me for a long time but she has a boyfriend. We just lay down on a bed looking at each other for ages and I said I wouldn't do anything because it's not right and she said the same. She started becoming pretty emotional and started crying because I'm moving to London (around 3 hours away from where I live) for university. She kept saying how I'll find someone 100x better than her and forget about her. . She also said she wanted to kiss me but couldn't because of her boyfriend. Then she cried about being guilty for even having these feelings when she has a boyfriend. Admittedly, I like this girl as well so I told her that she means a lot to me and no one could replace her like that. I'd also make an effort to see her often and that it's not her fault she's having these feelings and I just lay there comforting her without actually breaking any barriers.
Well today she apologised for what she said to me and said it wasn't right as she has a boyfriend and we just started talking casually again. The thing is, I have a deep wrenching feeling in my stomach, and I just don't know what to do. There's so many things stopping me from actually going out with her ie: my ex was her best friend, she has a boyfriend, I'm moving to university in a short while and she means so much to me as a friend and I'm scared of losing that. I know I haven't asked anything in particular but the alcohol and this emotional baggage has brought me down terribly and I wouldn't mind just talking this over anonymously over the web.
14 Comments • Newest first
[quote=gangar32]i'd say move on since your going away unless you feel you can make it work. if so, ask her out.[/quote]
I think I'm just gonna let this one unravel, see what happens...
[quote=TrueAtheist]You should've made out with her.[/quote]
I wanted to, and so did she, but it would've been wrong... I'm sure there will be an opportunity later on. Or maybe I'll choose to stay just friends with her, I really do need a have a best friend who I can talk to whenever and about virtually anything and don't want to risk that.
idk why cant you go up and straight up date her instead of wasting your time being friends with her o_o.
[quote=Wintermelon]u mean a deep wrenching feeling in ur six pack rite olololol[/quote]
Hahaha played She must've been off her head to think that though lol
[quote=ronny278]The thing is, I have a deep wrenching feeling in my stomach, and I just don't know what to do.[/quote]
u mean a deep wrenching feeling in ur six pack rite olololol
[quote=DesireSombre]So you are admitting that you are beta?
We always knew it Billy.[/quote]
With this girl, yes I'm being beta. Even I know it, but because she means a lot to me. If this was another girl at a party, then it wouldn't be the case.
[quote=ronny278]If this girl wasn't one of my closest friends, I wouldn't be beta.[/quote]
So you are admitting that you are beta?
We always knew it Billy.
[quote=MrAhri]"We just lay down on a bed looking at each other for ages and I said I wouldn't do anything because it's not right and she said the same."
You are so Beta it's not even funny.
I'm actually laughing and shaking my head.[/quote]
If this girl wasn't one of my closest friends, I wouldn't be beta. And I phrased it wrong, I didn't say the "not right" thing independently and randomly. I said it as a response to her saying she wanted to kiss me but couldn't.
Almost sounds as if she's scared of her boyfriend..
Meanwhile in Kenya..
[quote=darkpolearm] ask her to break up with her boyfriend and to go out with you. [/quote]
Don't do that...homewrecker. If she leaves her boyfriend for you, she will just leave you for someone else. She sounds nutty and high maintenance.
I thought these things only happen in movies.
Just move on. You can't start a relationship because she has a boyfriend and I doubt you'll feel any better if she leaves him for you. Since you're moving to a university, it'll be even harder to see her. Say you do get together, but you also say she gets attached easily. What would happen while you're gone? If you WERE to get together, that would mean she'd leave her current boyfriend and wouldn't she be able to do the same with you? Another note is that she likes you, but went after another guy. What's with that?
Why anonymously, all white and asian guys generally look the same in rl?