I have a one hundred percent useless sibling
He's not particularly intelligent. (He doesn't even speak with proper grammar. He started speaking when he was FOUR. He has the reading level of a child four years younger than him.)
He's plays games more than 12 hours a day.
He doesn't have ANY hobbies. (except games)
He doesn't have ANY social skills. (Friends? He has no friends.)
He's not good at ANYTHING. (Even in his game, he doesn't rank very high. He doesn't play instruments or has any artistic ability)
He's dull and uninteresting (stemming from his lack of hobbies). ("So what do you like to do?" "I dunno."
He's not athletic. (Stick thin. And even in sports, he takes forever to understand the rules.)
He probably has a mental disorder. (OCD, to be specific, he's a 'checker'. Always checking the light switch or the locks or the windows.)
His father coddles him all the time. ("Don't care about what other thinks of you!"
Q: Why don't you do anything about it?
A: I don't know what to do! I'm only sixteen. I have to deal with AP summer homework and driving lessons and art trades and SATs and my own life! I don't have friends either, and I never learned how to communicate with my brother. He's, mentally, at least 5 years behind me and I've always been ashamed of the fact I had a brother who was useless. And I can't help but be disgusted with his personality. He only listens when he wants to and refuses help.
Q: Why don't your parents do anything about it?
A: Like I said, father coddles him and fails to see anything wrong with him. Well, okay, he does, but he has bigger problems to worry about (specifically, how we're going to survive past next month. We're hideously in debt and poor and we don't have much income.) Mother is the only one working and she is always working.
Q: Why don't his friends--
A: He has no friends.
Q: What about other family?
A: We're disconnected.
Q: Wait you said he might have a mental disorder-- why don't you get that checked?
A: We're poor and have no insurance. Father refuses to see his problem and won't get him tested. Getting tested is already a few days to a week off of mother's income.
Q: Have you talked to him?
A: Yes, and he stormed off when I got to the crux of the matter.
Just. What the hell do I do.
34 Comments • Newest first
Military academy or at least enrolling him into a cadets program (marine/army/air) should toughen him up a bit.
I'm nearing my third year of army cadets, and I've met lots of people, made lots of friends, and I get paid for joining their summer program.
It's only once a week (excluding spring and winter vacation) and the whole program is 5 years I think? But you'll have to leave before you turn 19.
It's completely free (not sure about the US, I live in Canada) and it'll look good on his resume for when he gets older.
You see, I could do exactly the same thing and get on basil and create a thread about all my brother's issues and how he won't grow up. Then again this is basil you are talking about, do you really think you will get real help for your brother here? Also you make so many statements that are so filled with your emotions...
-he has no friends (do you really believe that? I sure as hell don't)
-hes not intelligent (how are you ranking his intelligence? grades, his spoken words?)
-hes not good at anything (what a huge statement! Obviously he is good at getting attention from your father... people usually have some sort of skill, who knows what he is capable of)
-is being athletic a requirement of a human being? (I am skinny as hell and suck at sports, are you saying I am a waste of space too? If so, there are many girls out that that are useless)
-he checks locks and lights (so do you prefer keeping all your windows open, doors unlocked, and lights on? If so have fun with that electricity bill and your robbed house)
However with the slow speech development, he may have some sort of disorder since he sounds a bit like my friend. If I can see through your very opionated statements of your brother, it seems that he has trouble socializing/grasping concepts.
[quote=Spirit]o_O It's possible. What kind of lifestyle do you lead that requires more than a part-time supermarket job to live on?[/quote]
I work part time and most of my money is sucked off by gas, car insurance, car, school, gym, and food.
I wouldn't know how I'd manage if I had to pay rent and other basic utilities
[quote=Spirit]Sorry? In any case, I actually am his sibling so I have to deal with him, whether I like it or not.[/quote]
You're a terrible person.
[quote=ulti25]Where do you live where a part-time supermarket job can support yourself?[/quote]
o_O It's possible. What kind of lifestyle do you lead that requires more than a part-time supermarket job to live on?
@Dpwarrior30: She says it herself on the answer to the first question "Why don't you do anything about it"
[quote=iNubbed]Least he can support himself[/quote]
Where do you live where a part-time supermarket job can support yourself?
Just play that favorite game of his "Dumb and Dumber" and you guys will be alright.
He plays games all day and he's stick thin?
Lucky guy. I do that and I'm a fat mofo.
[quote=Biotic]Let him live his life how he wants to live his life.[/quote]
I WANT YOUR IGN SO BAD
[quote=Bloo]Man the way you downgraded your bro is just pathetic, no more what is wrong him he's your brother afterall. And dam it's not like he's an alcoholic or drug addict or some psycho who wants to kill you.[/quote]
He may not want to kill me intentionally, but if he continues like this then he will kill me (unintentionally).
@Iamblue: He may be too young to be called useless, but I know for a fact he will not thrive in a working environment, if he does get a good job (granted, if he completes his education) Nothing comes easy to him. Anything he can do, most people can do better.
Maybe he is good in a few things.
[quote=Kingsleh]Is he black?[/quote]
Family is white Hispanic
I've got a brother that's approaching thirty years old, is in need of a bra, has acne, doesn't regularly shower, works part-time in a supermarket, and plays MMOs ~85% of the day.
Get on my level.
[quote=Iamblue]Dang girl, Your a sister that I do not want. Nice job downgrading your own sibling on a forum.[/quote]
What would you do, then, in my situation? Seeing how you're the epitome of experience in good sisterhood.
[quote=LightingFrag]You're poor but you use your money on NX instead of food
Logic[/quote]
Maybe her own money for pleasure.
take him to the woods then ditch him.
[quote=Reply]Then the next choice is wait it out, enroll him into military, and they'll set him straight.[/quote]
Mother encourages this idea.
It's going to be hell for him, though. I want to approve.
[quote=Zulucker]You can't exactly call him anti-social if you have no friends yourself >.>
And why do you care? He's your sibling, it doesn't matter what they can do/can't do you should still be nice and take care of your family.[/quote]
Pretty sure you're off on the first part.
OT: If you've tried talking to him as much as possible, trying to help him out in every way you can, then there really isn't much you can do. If there's a counselor or something at his school, try seeing if they can move him into a "special needs" type of class. (You're probably in a summer break so that's just for when school actually starts).
[quote=qtprincessxoxo]Necessity can force change.[/quote]
Interesting words. I'll look into that.
@Zulucker: I know it's important to take care of family, but I don't want to be forced to take care of him the rest of my life. There's only so much "familial caring" I can give out.
Same as @MagiBomchu, only child so don't assume my advice will help much.
And pretty much what he said as well, ask him how he feels about his like, his health and such.
You could always look up the symptoms or effects of having OCD and try to see if they match him.
Although, you seem to be worrying slightly too much. It doesn't matter if his only hobby is playing games (although I'd stop him playing 12 hours a day)
and it doesn't matter if he's stick thin. (I'm also stick thin, I don't like sports, but I get on just fine. I doubt my height makes up for my lack of strength)
Try to ease him into not playing so much, and try to at least communicate with him every day. He secretly might just want you to talk to him more often, it might make him feel better.
Welcome to being dirt poor, I suggest becoming un-poor yourself, that way you can help your family you see fit.
You can't exactly call him anti-social if you have no friends yourself >.>
And why do you care? He's your sibling, it doesn't matter what they can do/can't do you should still be nice and take care of your family.
It'll be a big problem if he becomes a failure in life because once your parents don't have anymore money to give to him, he'll come asking you.
He is not useless if your father loves him. He makes your father happy. That is his purpose.
[quote=Reply]Well, if you don't like your brother and really don't care about the kid, then the only choice is to make him become a deadbeat and completely forget about him, thats not what I would do but you know I'm not in your situation.[/quote]
That... doesn't seem right. I don't like him particularly but I won't abandon him to the wolves.
@Secondary: Hmm? They aren't dead yet. But they're starting to become old due to the stress. I'm sixteen.
[quote=Secondary]@Spirit:
If he plays video games 24/7 and has no social skills,
how is this a problem for you?[/quote]
When my parents die, he'll be in my care. And if he still continues on like he is right now, he'll have to rely on me to take care of him. I don't want a deadbeat brother in my life.
@MagiBombchu: How? I don't know what a "real sister" is supposed to do. What do I do, talk to him? I don't know how to talk to him without scaring him off or making him mad (he's really sensitive). And if I do talk to him, what do I say?
@toid: almost fourteen.
So does my brother.
[quote=iBlaster]Well, seeing how great a sister he has who downgrades him on a maplestory online forum, I'd say you better put that down on one of his "bad things list"
I mean seriously, it's okay to know that you have a brother who's bad at most of the things he does (if what you're saying is right) but it really wont make it any better for him when he's got a sister who talks bad about him behind his back on a online forum..If I had a sister whom were like you, i'd honestly be ashamed to have you as a sister[/quote]
I know I'm a crappy sister. What I should be doing is be out there for him and support him. Any good sister would do that. But I can't stand to be around him anymore. What I should do and what I want to do is totally conflicting right now. I don't know how to help him.
It's not really behind his back. He lurks basil frequently.
I know you just said this in your thread, but try talking again when he's in a better mood. Communication is the key. Take him out somewhere if you can drive. Bring him his favorite food or something. Then try talking. Tell him why you're talking to him, so he doesn't just leave. There might be something you say that'll trigger his mind to make him want to keep talking.
Or you could always threaten to take away his game if he doesn't get a life.
[quote=qtprincessxoxo]Not much you can do besides introduce him to people and give him stuff to do besides games.[/quote]
To who, pray tell? I don't have social skills myself, and I guess I can continue to teach him stuff, but I don't have the time nor the will (he's an annoying pupil) and he's unwilling as well. Do I honestly have to tell him what to do with his own life? Is he that incapable of making his own decisions? (answer: yes)
Well, seeing how great a sister he has who downgrades him on a maplestory online forum, I'd say you better put that down on one of his "bad things list"
I mean seriously, it's okay to know that you have a brother who's bad at most of the things he does (if what you're saying is right) but it really wont make it any better for him when he's got a sister who talks bad about him behind his back on a online forum..If I had a sister whom were like you, i'd honestly be ashamed to have you as a sister
Play a games with him? Maybe then you can actually get him to talk to you...
[quote=Reply]I wouldn't want to be your sibbling, your really meaning?[/quote]
Sorry? In any case, I actually am his sibling so I have to deal with him, whether I like it or not.