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What are some real life examples of Doublespeak?

for example, calling someone "unique" instead of "weird"

April 14, 2013

5 Comments • Newest first

CygnusBabii

This reminds me of a book I read a couple pages of... 1984?

Reply April 14, 2013 - edited
Segumisama

The code doesn't have any 'bugs', it just has surprise features!

Reply April 14, 2013 - edited
myrdrex

[quote=NekoChan]"No one gets fired, you simply 'leave to pursue other opportunities'."
Wouldn't it be more accurate to say "No one quits"? Since being fired is not your choice at all, or would it be "No one gets fired, you're simply forced to 'leave to pursue other opportunities'."[/quote]

Sadly no, I've seen coworkers fired- called into their bosses office, told they were fired, and then seen the email go out to the rest of the division later that day saying they've 'left to pursue other opportunities'.

Yeah, corporate America is filled with BS. Sorry, I mean- "The diverse nature of businesses in the United States allows for a dynamic set of viewpoints to be expressed on any given topic, ultimately leading to a successfully executed resolution of the original discussion point".

Reply April 14, 2013 - edited
myrdrex

I got my MBA a few years back, which is pretty much a degree in Doublespeak. I see, hear and occasionally (although I try not to) speak it at work.

A project never has issues- it has opportunities.
No one gets fired, you simply 'leave to pursue other opportunities'.
We don't cut costs and lay off people, we 'rationalize'.
Your budget wasn't cut, it was 'right sized'.
We'd NEVER make a stupid acquisition- we simply have a higher 'goodwill balance' than expected.

The list goes on and on and on.

Reply April 14, 2013 - edited
ElectroRetro

calling someone special instead of a retard

Reply April 14, 2013 - edited