General

@XGreyFoxX99 There should never be hate involved unless the person cheated or something worse! But yeah, other than that trueee.

@Celianna hehe I did! How long did it take you to get over each person? and like how long did you guys date for? (i have a feeling that this question is inconsiderate-if you don't want to answer, don't!) Thanks so much for the help!

@Arestelle First and foremost, i hope you and your bf stay together for a very very long time! You seem like such a good girlfriend. That last paragraph was right on. So many good points omg! Thank you <3

@skiay "Culture is an illusion, we're all humans in the end" should be quoted somewhere! Thank you Sir for the advice!

@wowarcherwow Ramadan Kareem & EYY 94 buddy
I'm sure you know how it is. Parent's are...something. Im already hiding this relationship from them. If i told them, they'd send me to Pakistan or something. They're uptight & strict about it. Not to sure about the whole culture thing, but honestly who knows. There's a chance. But you're totally right. They should know! Thanks Sir

@RightToSmile Thanks! Hope things are good with you & parent's

@guacamole222 looking for someone new is just rebound. (Well if its in a short time period .. its like using the other person who may get hurt in the end) .. & if the break up was mutual/something that had to be done without hate .. then it could be ok? anded trueee.

1-look for someone new and better than ex, express your feelings to someone
2-no, ex is bad person, I cannot forgive or forget
3-i don't let parents decide my love life

First of all Ramadan Kareem!

I am also a '94 Kudos!
Also, the way I see it is that you both love each other a lot. Seeing that you guys are from same religious background but not location, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I know many parents from this background are very strict about their children love matters. The way I see it is as it shouldn't be a problem for your parents if you guys are not from same geographical location. Talk to your parents about this and come to front in terms about this. Being secretive is not going to help either you or your love or yours parents in the long run. Trust me on this!

Most of your questions are answered with the main idea of figure it out, it'll make you much happier and stronger down the road knowing you did the correct thing, and you're the only one who knows what's correct.

It's rare that you find such a wonderful sounding man who will stick it though 5 break ups. Culture is an illusion, we're all humans in the end. Personally I'd never let something as simple as culture.. get in the way of possibly being with a man/woman who'll bring me happiness. The reason no one has the key to happiness and or life is because each persons keyhole is much different from the last. It's not my job nor is it your parents job to explain to you how you obtain the key to life. This is something you should figure out on your own, it'll make you a much stronger person down the road. Thus my conclusion, you know what you should do deep down somewhere in your mind, so apply it

I am still dating my first boyfriend, so I can't answer your question on breaking up. However, I can say for sure that I would definitely be
very down about it for a while, likely crying myself to sleep some nights, but I'd like to believe I'd be back up within a few weeks to my normal self.
To be honest, I've considered breaking up with my boyfriend many times. But whenever it came to it, I just thought about how I would feel if later
down the road I saw him with another girl. Smiling at her the way he used to smile at me, holding her the way he used to hold me, loving her like
he once loved me. And I can't bring myself to break up with him because I know it would hurt so, so much if it happened when he's still so important
to me. As for coping...You just get over it eventually. The first few weeks will be hell but then quickly after you realize that it's not that bad after all.
Of course, occasionally you'll think back and wonder how things would have turned out differently if the relationship had never ended.

I don't know if I would be friends with my boyfriend if we broke up. In theory I would like to remain friends, but I'm afraid that it would hurt too much
with him always being around as a constant reminder of what we used to be. My boyfriend is not a jerk; he's genuinely a good person. So I know
that no matter who initiates the break up, it will end on amicable terms. Even if I do end up being the one to break off our relationship, a part of me
will always be weak for him and I'm not sure I could handle still being friends with him. I believe he feels the same way.

Yes, I would disobey my parents in pursuit of a guy, but only if I was really sure that he was the one. You must understand that in disobeying your parents,
you may never be able to gain back the original trust they once held for you, and to lose it all for someone you're hesitant about, is very risky. I realize
people often overlook the importance of their relationship with their parents. Your parents are the ones who watched over you when you were just a cute little
baby, the ones to hand over a fortune to feed and clothe you, the ones they've loved so dearly. For most parents at least, you are one of the most precious, if
not most precious, thing to ever come into their lives. I think most people, caught up in the thrill of the social circles of friends and boyfriends and girlfriends,
tend to forget the familial aspect of their lives. Your bond with your parents is an important bond that has been created from ever since you were born, and to
recklessly throw it away is not a good idea. That being said, I am NOT saying that you shouldn't go off with this man in the case that your parents reject him.
I am just simply saying you should take a long time to think this over and weigh the consequences of your choice before making a rash decision you may regret.

oo you added more questions. I quite enjoy answering these

[b]-How to deal with a break up/ if you've been in one..how did you cope?[/b]

it's gonna be tough. for the few days/weeks/months (different for each breakup I had) I just cried and cried and felt sad and felt like a hand was physically squeezing my heart, loss of appetite (all I could eat was half a banana for breakfast&lunch).

how to cope? just do the typical things everybody says to do after a breakup. talk it out with a close friend, it really helps. keep yourself busy with school/work/hobbies/friends/family anything to distract you from thinking about your ex. it'll take time and everyone is going to say "it's gonna get better" and you'll say "no it won't I'm completely heartbroken" but trust me, it does get better.

[b]-Would you be friends with your ex?[/b]

Only after a significant amount of time as passed so you both can move on. do not be friends if you still have feelings for him or want to get back together. you'll just end up hurting yourself even more.

[b]-If you're cultured, would you disobey your parents and continue forth with someone from another culture?[/b]

I can't really answer this. I have similar views with my parents regarding dating someone from a diff culture so it's not a problem for me.

You don't need to be super close to your ex but make sure you're at least on good terms, so it isn't weird when you two are together.
Cultural differences are a bad reason to hate someone. Unless their culture is cannibalism, murder, imperialist beliefs or something along those lines just go ahead with it. Of course take the time to learn his culture, that will help a lot.

Work on the breaking up thing. If you love him gradually decrease the amount of times you break up, or if you can do so immediately.

@Celianna Thank you. I honestly can't thank you enough. Greatly appreciate the advice! The journey involves a lot of tears and sleepless nights. But you're right. " imo it's better to break up sooner than later before you get too attached and invested." That's something I've been denying these past 6 months. The tough part is going through with the break up. Thanks again!

@xxkatzrinaxx Thanks for the input
@GalacticCat Touche

I know what you mean about the language barrier and culture/customs and all that. The only way to overcome that is if you're both willing to learn each other's language and customs. You don't have to be fluent in it, just make an effort to at least grasp a basic level. Learning about his customs are really important, such as how to behave around his parents & family, dinner table manners, etc. Idk anything about Middle Eastern culture but I'm thinking about things like for Asians: taking your shoes off in a house, don't stick your chopsticks in your bowl etc etc. things that may not make sense outside of the culture, but is actually really important to them.

You guys broke up 5 times in the past 6 months? hun if you guys don't overcome this barrier together your relationship is just going nowhere. you can break up and get back together 100 times but eventually it'll be a permanent breakup. and honestly imo it's better to break up sooner than later before you get too attached and invested. so just make your decision, communicate with your bf, and see if you both believe you can make this work. it's not going to be easy, and only you can decide if he's worth it.

[quote=xXSkittl3zz]@GalacticCat .. yeah its pretty crazy. 5 times, 3 in the first month, and 2 times last week. He knows I'm always going to crawl back so he's the same. Would you break you parents/close one's heart to be with someone your heart desires?

@Righttosmile Yeah, 19. Paren'ts are still a huge part of your life, i mean we are what we are today because of them and to completely disobey them is quite insulting. But otherwise, you have a point. Kinda curious .. what's your answer to "Would you break you parents/close one's heart to be with someone your heart desires?" if you don't mind answering[/quote]

Yes i would because i have to live my own life. They got over me growing my hair long. finding out i smoke, who i hang out with, who i dated, etc. They werent happy with any of those but they accepted them because they learned they cant have control of me forever. They wont accept what you do right away, give it time, if theyre good parents (or people in general) they will look past it and love you no matter what you do.

@GalacticCat .. yeah its pretty crazy. 5 times, 3 in the first month, and 2 times last week. He knows I'm always going to crawl back so he's the same. Would you break you parents/close one's heart to be with someone your heart desires?

@Righttosmile Yeah, 19. Paren'ts are still a huge part of your life, i mean we are what we are today because of them and to completely disobey them is quite insulting. But otherwise, you have a point. Kinda curious .. what's your answer to "Would you break you parents/close one's heart to be with someone your heart desires?" if you don't mind answering

I'm a strong believer in love and I think honestly you should do whatever makes you happy. As for the language barrier, you seem to speak english fine, and I assume he does as well. Could you compromise and both stick to english? I'm uncultured as well, so I can't give you much on that.

But honestly, if you're happy with him, then screw it all. This is your life, the only one you'll get the chance to live. Spend it being happy.

Edit: You're 19 date whoever the hell you want to date. Your parents have no say in that, if they talk smack let them youre not going to live with them forever.
You broke up with your boyfriend 5 times, I think that speaks for itself. I don't know the reasons for all those break ups so I cant really give you a concrete answer.