General

[quote=Tornx]A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"[/quote]
lmfaooooooooooo

@Tornx LOLOLOLOLL

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

@Kamikaze450, it actually did lol

[quote=Daprodige]@Skyms try again[/quote]
U NO LIKE MY JOKE?

@Daprodige: oh? OH? Ohh ....i see.

@Skyms try again

@skyms: yez dare iz...

[quote=HEYitsTracey]What the fark? monsterzexion or w/e didn't even comment. THIS SHaAT IS RIGGED![/quote]

He's suspended so he pmed me

@iShAn Yes I do. You just don't have funny ones.

On a cliff theres two girls, a smart blonde and a smart brunette.
Both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which hit the ground first?

A: The smart brunette. Theres no such this as a smart blonde.

ts is dumb and doesn't laugh at things that r funny

im probably gonna get suspended AGAIN, so pm me lmao.

So a guy walks into a bar, and he goes to the bartender and says; "can i have anything but a heinieken?"
So the bartender gives him a budweiser.
The guy goes up a second time and says again "can i have anything but a heinieken?"
So the bartender gives him a sam adams.
The guy goes up yet again and says "can i have anything but a heinieken?"
So now the bartender gets fed up and asks; "what do you have against heneiken?"
The guy says; "Well, i drank 30 last night and blew chunks everywhere."
Bartender: "Well so would i if i drank THIRTY..."
Guy: "No you dont undertsnad, i blew chunks in my car, i blew chunks in the shower, and i blew chunks in the yard."
Bartender: "SO WOULD I IF I DRANK THIRTY HEINEKEN."
Guy: "But i blew chunks in my bed, in my kitchen, and even in my basement!"
Bartender: "SO WOULD I IF I DRANK THIRTY, PAL."
Guy: "No, you STILL dont understand...Chunk is my dog."

@Plethor, Ahahaa. You get one.

What does every raciest joke begin with?
-Looks left, then looks right-

yo Doc! i have a serious problem, i can never remember what i just said
when did you first notice this problem?
what problem?

pres i rlly nid it so i can gift myself items on my secondary acc

what's the difference between a dead blonde on the road and a dead cat on the road?
there's skid marks in front of the cat.

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face?
stop laughing and reload

How many babies does it take to paint a house red?
Depends on how hard you throw

How do you stop a baby from drowning?
You take your foot off the back of its head.

Why did the boy lose his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A pilot

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms or legs.

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree?
It died.

Yo dude, I heard you like jokes, so we put a joke in a joke so you can laugh while you laugh.

women's rights

@Plethor, yes they do.

Mechanics will be nerfed soon.

What? It's funny.

wow u dont like yo moma jokes ...u suck..

@iShAn, you can keep trying

didnt i make u laugh bro? ;( i though i was funny...

[quote=PostBB]What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
mosquito stops su1cking once you slap it[/quote]

Even though Sex jokes are overused, that one made me laugh a little.

comment if i made you laugh

Just read this thread
http://www.basilmarket.com/forum/2078028/0/Giving_away_Maplestory_Adventures_keys.html
Who ever gave you a laugh just PM them.
Another thread of this is useless.
/joke (Don't need code I already playing)

waffles<3

Poster below me's moma so fat even dora cant explore her , and the poster below me mom is so ugly she went into a haunted hause and got a job application~