My boyfriend won my heart by being a creep
For all of you who like to discourage people, I have a little story about why it's important not to get discouraged!
Disclaimer: If a girl is blatantly turning you down and you do not know her very well to begin with then yeah maybe it's best not to be pushy because that does get creepy
So anyway, it was the summer after my senior year of high school. I was lookin to get myself a man for the summer. There were two or three boys I was interested in. Meanwhile this friend of mine (the ex-bf of my ex-best friend who I happened to be friendly with) was very adamant about hanging out with me throughout the summer. We didn't have many overlapping friends and we were both night owls so I hung out with him at night after all the rest of my friends went to sleep. We'd talk until it was light out and I'd send him home before my parents woke up. During these late night talks, he'd try to cuddle and hold me, and usually I'd let him cuz I didn't mind the cuddles and I didn't think they meant anything. I also never expressed to him that they meant anything, and if anything I would be the one who was hesitant or resistant or would tell him to stop. We weren't bffs or anything, we hung out maybe once every week or two when I wasn't busy with my other friends - he wasn't a priority friend of mine and I made that a little obvious. I wasn't interested in him at all - mostly he was off limits because he was a friend's ex.
So he'd text me a lot to hang out and I'd usually tell him I was busy (which I was). Like I said, I'd only ever hang out with him after I was done hanging out with all my other friends. Apparently there were nights that he had nothing to do and would wait around in my neighborhood and nap in his car just in case I could hang out. I'd see him driving by a lot and was a little creeped out but a little flattered. Well around the time I noticed that the cuddling and stuff might tempt me or lead him to think it meant something more, I sat him down and told him nothing could ever come of us cuz it was weird that he was my friend's ex and I was still pursuing other guys and blablabla. Well in spite of this rejection he continued to gun after me and text me frequently (not every day and not excessively but when he did text me he was very persistent about hanging out no matter how late it was). And eventually I'd give in and let him come over even if it was "just for a little while"
While as the nights grew long, sometimes I'd fall asleep in his arms. Which was really embarrassing, especially when he was sharing like deep and private parts of his life. I remember this one night, we were laying in my hammock under the stars, and I dozed off when he was telling me these really personal parts of his life that he'd only ever told a few people... To be fair it was like 5am but still xP But whenever I fell asleep he always took care of me and it made me feel really special. It didn't take long to realize that even though we didn't hang out often there was undeniably something there - and as much as I pushed him away and rejected him and refused to prioritize him, he still kept coming back, with a facade of confidence. You have to understand that this entire time, I literally showed him no grain of interest >-> He was actually very discouraged, at least until one of my friends told him that she knew someone that was attracted to him. Didn't even say it was me. But this tiny little clue was enough to maintain his objective. It was the persistence and confidence that finally made me give in.
He had this little trick where whenever we would cuddle, he would also rub my back and slowly, slowly, slowly gradually explore my skin. It was so subtle that I never knew where to stop it. Well one night, he lulled me into such a deep relaxation and arousal that I didn't stop him at all, and we hooked up. And I told him it could never happen again, but instead he told me to shh and he took me out for dunkin donuts and kissed me the whole rest of the day (neither of us slept).
So in spite of how little of a chance I was giving him, his persistent (and confidence!) (well, and attractiveness) ended up winning me over. And we've been together for over a year and a half now. And he gets some with me. And we so happy.
So if you're sure a girl is right for you, go for it! You just gotta make her see the same way. It's a lot of work but any girl that would be worth it will at least recognize the effort you put in - it will make her wonder what you see in her that makes it so worth it and everything will ideally work out happy. Or maybe I just got really lucky, I donno.
THAT'S MY STORY KTHX
-successfully avoided a half hour of homework-
edit:
aaaaalso for anyone that was interested, here is a pic of us from before we'd even been together for a month: [url=http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r215/gizmoweis2/IMG_8369.jpg]<3[/url]
56 Comments • Newest first
I have advice of my own. How to get girls: don't be ugly.
ot: @muffmallow: Okay, real comment now: this is all well and good, but imo, there's a point at which you should definitely give up. Considering that you were sending him ridiculous mixed signals by cuddling and hanging out one on one, it's no wonder he didn't give up. No, it's still mixed signals when you say "we can never date" and then continue to do things that someone who is interested in him would do.
In other words, you're really lucky this guy knows what's up, because you sound like every other mixed-signal-I-don't-know-what-I-want girl out there. Congratulations on finding a guy who could convince you to want him because you could never make up your mind on your own.
Old thread is old, but congratulations on finding Christian Slater.
[quote=muffmallow]@DuckieBoyy if she's obviously not interested I would let it go
@hosrack I would sit her down and have a talk with her about what SHE wants, independent of what her family wants. If she wants something with you, then you guys will find a way to make it work, even if it has to be a secret. If she wants to respect her family's wishes then you'll have to respect that too. The tricky part is that she's already been "tainted" so to speak by her family's influence on the situation, so it might be hard for her to figure out what she wants for herself. But you should try to be understanding as she is in a very tense, difficult position[/quote]
I think the thing is..like she liked this hispanic guy last year i think. The guy was a drugger/stoner and stuff, but whateves, she liked him i think. I think they secretly went out behind her parent's back..and her dad found out. Her dad raged at her and grounded her for 6 month..and got really mad and everything zz. so now..shes like..yea. And i mean, its against her religion (islam) to date someone outside of islam..
sigh I dont even know, i feel so depressed over all this.
and shes like trying to stop liking me i guess..she starts calling me like "Bro" "buddy" and crap now sigh.
the only creep i see in this story is you
how many times can a man be friendzoned?
I got the weirdest bo-
*Ahem*
That's a very nice story
"That'sssss a very nice love story you've got there... It'd be a ssssshame if anything were to happen to it...
LOOOL , thanks for the story i'll remember this when i chase the girl i like (:
@DuckieBoyy if she's obviously not interested I would let it go
@hosrack I would sit her down and have a talk with her about what SHE wants, independent of what her family wants. If she wants something with you, then you guys will find a way to make it work, even if it has to be a secret. If she wants to respect her family's wishes then you'll have to respect that too. The tricky part is that she's already been "tainted" so to speak by her family's influence on the situation, so it might be hard for her to figure out what she wants for herself. But you should try to be understanding as she is in a very tense, difficult position
@muffmallow
hey could you offer me advice on this?
So i have known this girl for awhile now..we got really close and everything. I told her I like her and she said she likes me too.. We kind've became like..friends with benefits for a short time. But then she said she wants to stop because she said it wont get anywhere. Even though she likes me, she said its impossible for us to be anything more than friends because of her family and stuff: such as her family would NEVER let her date anyone outside of her race and religion. sigh. And now shes like pushing me away and telling me stuff like "stop being so serious about all this" and "this is just highschool, nothing real exists here" and crap..she keeps telling that i should stop liking her and we should just be normal friends and..T_T
sigh..i dont know what to do..it really bothers me. should i just give up? but shes like the most perfect girl ive ever met, so...idk. help please T_T
@muffmallow - Aww cute and good luck!
Alsooooooo I really like my friend and I try to ask her if she wants to hang out somewhere (ex:I sometimes ask her to see a movie with me)
but she always turns me down sometimes nicely sometimes in a mean way. She obviously isn't interested in me, and she told me she's bi
What's your advice on what I should do?
This story is totally sweet - even though I promised myself two hours ago I'd drop this thing I have, and yet, this story makes me doubt that decision. :<
What a lovely story.
yay xD read your story again <3 you're cute Robin! but you look so smallllllll haha...
kinda makes me want to put my "love story" on here too but there's no message like yours in it I don't think (maybe that distance has no meaning when there's Love and that being friends for a long while doesn't mean you're friend-zoned I guess...? blah xD)
I'd expect lots of flamers telling me I'm showing off though *Cry.*
And ofc those that rant about long distance relationships *rolls eyes*
you go girl! you're so sweet together ^.^
[quote=muffmallow]@lindemann: tbh I thought it was more of a cuddlebuddy thing (sort of like friends with benefits but just with cuddling) but I guess this makes sense... guess it makes sense though that a guy wouldn't go repeatedly out of his way to /cuddle/ you if there wasn't something more
[/quote]
There are so called ''dbags'' who can do anything to a girl without really meaning anything, but most of us do the things we do because we care. I dont know ANY guy that would cuddle with a girl if it didn't mean anything to him.
@lindemann: tbh I thought it was more of a cuddlebuddy thing (sort of like friends with benefits but just with cuddling) but I guess this makes sense... guess it makes sense though that a guy wouldn't go repeatedly out of his way to /cuddle/ you if there wasn't something more
@s0ftspray: is there such a thing as a fun breakup? =P
@qtprincessxoxo: then I guess we weren't meant to be
[quote=muffmallow] he'd try to cuddle and hold me, and usually I'd let him cuz I didn't mind the cuddles and I didn't think they meant anything. I also never expressed to him that they meant anything[/quote]
Girls, all of you out there. [b]If a man cuddles you that means he really really likes you and want to be close to you, You dont cuddle back and then drop the bomb ''Sorry, your friendzoned.''[/b] (Although it worked out great for this dude.)
[quote=MistahJayden]YOU DOO DOO STAIN! U NO TELL ME? Q.Q
We gotta talk son!
OT: That's really cute haha, I had a similar situation with my current Girlfriend. Long story short. It was exactly last year too, she was heartbroken hated guys, I was presistant and continued to show my love for her even when she put me down, one day she realized I was for her and here we are still together.[/quote]
Bawww it's so cute Way to go man
Didn't have to include the inappriopriate parts but, nonetheless, good story. It does seem to encourage confidence in one but lets all face it, there is a point where confidence and perseverance reaches its peak and needs to stop, otherwise face law-suits or restraining orders.
[quote=Eisvie]Awww you two look so cute, I'm happy for you and I hope it lasts for a long long time <3 ![/quote]
baw thank you I can't wait to see him todayyyyy
virgin
[quote=lGreenII]Who took the picture? What state are you from?[/quote]
My boyfriend took it with an auto timer. I'm from Illinois - this is at Lake Michigan
@lilaznmage15, I'm glad this story could give you insight
Wow amazing story. I'm sort of in a difficult situation and I have no idea what to do.
Your words of advice has given me the decision I want to make.
I want to thank you for sharing your story and I hope you two live happy for years to come.
Forever alone. ;_;.
you guys look like a cute couple.
*Applauds* Finally, a worthy post in the Chat section! You get a thumbs up TS >>-b
Well that was very sweet.
[quote=muffmallow]Yeaah I know I'm really lucky ._.
aaaaalso for anyone that was interested, here is a pic of us from before we'd even been together for a month: [url=http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r215/gizmoweis2/IMG_8369.jpg]<3[/url][/quote]
Oh my god, you two are such cuties!
I don't think I've ever had good experiences with creeps. One of the dudes was a greasy Asian guy and he flirted like an elementary schooler irl(ie, punched me for attention) and an adamant person in declaring his love for me online.
[quote=PraisedAura]Not very realistic but the story itself (yes I believe its true) is rather sweet. I'm glad you're happy.[/quote]
Yeaah I know I'm really lucky ._.
aaaaalso for anyone that was interested, here is a pic of us from before we'd even been together for a month: [url=http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r215/gizmoweis2/IMG_8369.jpg]<3[/url]
[quote=SonsOfAnarchy]Misleading title, I don't think you know what a creep is lol.
You keep saying how you never showed him interest, yet you talked to him for long hours and you would cuddle and fall asleep with him? Pretty sure that's interest lol.[/quote]
Talking to him for long hours was the same way our friendship had always been. Back when he and I were both in our respective relationships, we were always able to sustain long, natural conversations, even though we didn't see each other that often. Also, I always let him cuddle me, but I never cuddled back, and I would always withdraw subtly if I could, until he'd lull me over. There was one night that we were hanging out and I decided to put my foot down and not allow any cuddle to happen, so before I even let him into my house I ran outside and told him we were going on a bike ride. We rode for a few miles and he showed me some really neat places. Unfortunately it took everything out of me so when we did get back to my house he noticed how tired I was and stuck around so that he could cuddle me to sleep, instead of leaving like I insisted. He saw right through my cuddle avoidance plans xP
[quote=monkeymee]Hey U know what makes good couples? and ur First and forever?
Its those who loves u too much to give up on u and that sounds like ur boyfriend rite now
Wish u guys luck to the end^^[/quote]
That made me smile, I loved the wording of that =)
@WrongPlanet, I'll go look for a picture from a photoshoot we shot before we'd even been together for a month. ^^
[quote=Demonlord]"During these late night [b]talks[/b], he'd try to [b]cuddle[/b] and [b]hold me[b]"
I barely have the guts to talk to a girl, let alone cuddle and hold her. The closest I've ever been to a girl was sitting next to one in class.
I'm a creep alright, but unlike your boyfriend. I'm not a creep with a chance.
He's possibly physically attractive as well, a component I do not have.
This merely discourages me even more!
Also, this "friend zone" of you people's. I've never even made it close to such a zone![/quote]
You just described me as well, except I'm home schooled so i have no contact with anyone except my family members.
thats so cute =) awweeeee ! hope u guys will have a bright future =)
Aww.. that's pretty cute
so creepy.
so cute.
so crutey
" And he gets some with me. And we so happy. "
I giggled at this.
And that's a very nice story. <3
[quote=Lordofrage]sounds like that guys from american dad no?[/quote]
You mean jeff? He lived in his car didnt he?
Sounds like if you ever decide to break up, he will most likely kidnap you and eventually kill you.
[quote=fonzie909]Well that "attractive" part made the story ehh.. Most people who get discouraged aren't well.. good looking. Honestly, it's not hard getting a girl to like you if you have the looks.[/quote]
Actually in most any situation I'd be highly skeptical of any really good looking guy gunning for me out of the blue. I'd think that they were just trying to get some. And I DID think that this kid was just trying to get some, but it ended up being so much more =)
Well that "attractive" part made the story ehh.. Most people who get discouraged aren't well.. good looking. Honestly, it's not hard getting a girl to like you if you have the looks.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss BOOM
Aw Such a sweet story. Congratulations!
This is really sweet! So happy for you two. Kind of reminds me of my current relationship too. Unfortunately I rejected and pushed away my bf many times because of long distance although I couldn't deny our chemistry. He kept pushing and never gave up. Some of my friends thought it was kind of creepy but honestly it made my heart melt. Eventually he won me over and every day I pinch myself because I can't believe how lucky I am! <3 Note this doesn't work with every guy/girl situation especially if either is heavily influenced by friends. I had to find the courage to forget what everyone else was saying and follow my heart before we got to where we are today. Love you @Tosmi !
It's not really as creepy as it could have been because you were familiar with him before
imagine someone you just met or barely know at all doing this kind of stuff and it gets kind of scary almost
he got friendzoned first
but still kept coming o.o
sweet story but doesnt happen to evryone so consider urself lucky
[quote=ExtravaGabe]Hey I did mention I was planning on giving the gift anonymously. With it I'll send a card saying something like "Even though you heart belongs to someone else, that doesn't you can't have an admirer." Or something along those lines..[/quote]
Oh yes, you did mention that. I think it's really sweet and that you should go ahead and do it It will make her think at the very least and will definitely make her heart well up <3
@MeGeo, definitely.
....dayum, maybe i should turn creepy.
EDIT: o-o that was creepy to you, meh. i would use the word that you used which was persistent.
[quote=muffmallow]@ExtravaGabe , that sounds very sweet. I'm not sure how I feel about going after people who are already in relationships, but persistence can work with those too, just not sure how that configures morally xP That is certainly a tricky situation! But if a guy has won her heart before, there's no reason you can't, even if she's les! I've seen it happen before ^^[/quote]
Hey I did mention I was planning on giving the gift anonymously. With it I'll send a card saying something like "Even though you heart belongs to someone else, that doesn't you can't have an admirer." Or something along those lines..
[quote=AnasF]The problem is, why [b]should[/b] a guy have to try so hard? -_-[/quote]
He should never, ever [i]have[/i] to. But if he [i]wants[/i] to, it's an entirely different story. His persistence and effort made me feel more special than I thought I was ever capable of feeling. But he saw something in me that to him was more special than he'd ever seen, and he decided I had to be his. I don't think anyone could ever make me feel the same way. Whether or not I will be with him together, the feelings that his persistence gave me were really rare and beautiful and unforgettable. It is incredible and mysterious to be wanted by someone so badly without much of an explanation.
That's the sweetest story I've ever heard. Usually I stop at the first paragraph, but you had me reading the whole thing. Thanks for making my night I wish you guys luck in the future
The problem is, why [b]should[/b] a guy have to try so hard? -_-