Single for the first time in college
I'm near the end of my second year of college. I've been dating the same guy since the summer before college and we broke up last weekend. This week has been really tough for me but I think everything will be okay. I'm definitely NOT looking for a relationship, or even to hook up, but it will be nice just to have the single's mentality, to be able to flirt and slowly try to get over my past boyfriend. to get some attention and to boost my confidence and take things lightly. I'm being very optimistic and sort of insincere about this whole thing right now, but actually the past week has been heart-wrenching. I'll post the details as I told one of my friends:
Friend:
no, i dont think you talked to me about it
Me:
oh ok then you're probably pretty confused haha
it was mutual
though neither of wanted to break up, really, cuz we were both happy
and there really weren't any problems in our relationship
however, we're both sort of heading in different directions and need to figure our stuff out. but, basically, we like each other too much, and have difficulty doing all the things that are in our best-interest because we're trying to do things in each others' interests
I need to have some time to explore myself, and he needs to figure out what he's doing with his life (in terms of where he will live, what he will do for work, etc)
so we decided that for the sake of our self-interests of the future, it would be best to break up
today I went and talked to him because I was having doubts about whether it was really necessary to break up, and instead I proposed a different sort of relationship that would essentially be a long-distance one. we decided that it wasn't a good solution, and more of putting a bandage on the wound cuz neither of us wanted to let go
so now that my remaining hopes/doubts have been cleared, I feel pretty okay. at least for right now. this summer I aim to study abroad, and his family is selling his house, so we will be forced to confront drastic change one way or another
we're going to keep the door open and see what happens, if anything, after summer. but for now, we're single! haha
so that's your long-winded explanation
but yay for no longer having any expectations or remaining hopes or doubts or uncertainties
if any come up, I feel comfortable addressing them. other than that, I will take everything as it comes and expect nothing. go with the flow
Yeah. I'm not really looking for comfort or advice in posting this.. In fact, I'm not sure I'm looking for anything. I'm still baffled at what unique and mature circumstances these are for someone my age ._. many college relationships are... eh not very serious (though many also are). I should add that I go to school close to where I live, which is why I was able to date someone from home, as he was working for a living instead of being in school.. yeah
Anyway just had the urge to tell you people about this
14 Comments • Newest first
Crap happens, Keep calm and move on.
Maybe the sense of loss will hit you later or maybe deep down inside you've been thinking to end this because of knowing the changes that will happen soon.
Who knows. As long as you're okay with it you will be fine.
Go enjoy your single life, go do what you've been trying to do!
Maybe you aren't looking for another relationship now but it may come to you when you least expected
[quote=WayofPaladin]Well look on the dark side.. Now you have to pay for everything!
Kidding! [/quote]
=x he actually owes me $1600
Well look on the dark side.. Now you have to pay for everything!
Kidding!
experiment with same s--
nevermind.
Naw there's definitely legit perks to being single. If I wanted to not be single it wouldn't be very difficult. But the only person I'd want, at least in the near future, is my boy back.
@Vinathi I didn't say that but that's essentially what he did
I made a rule of thumb thingy that I think will help me move forward. What is and isn't acceptable, what is and isn't healthy, etc etc. I'm still sad and I miss my boy, but I feel good about the future. As I've said time and time again, if we're truly meant to be together, then our futures with cross and everything will work out >.<
Being single has it's perks. Live life, do YOU. Some of the most fun nights I can remember (and can't remember ) are from when I was single.
-didnt finish reading-
Awww, I'm sorry you lost him. D:
I remember a month or two ago you made a post about him. You seemed really happy when you decided to give him a chance. I think I remember you saying that before you two dated, he followed you around like a puppy (not sure if you said that or not). xD
@Omegathorion: Hmn. I only say it because several people I have talked to have told me I'm very mature and that it's a very interesting situation. Nobody seems to understand the idea of breaking up when there aren't any problems. That really only happens to adults, for understandable reasons, like tending to families or moving for work, etc. I'm still a teenager. Nobody I've talked to so far has really understood the situation, and my ex says it's been the same for him. We've still been talking and are trying to be friends n stuff, which will be a little tricky, but I think will be ok
[quote=muffmallow] I'm still baffled at what unique and mature circumstances these are for someone my age ._.[/quote]
You should do something about that mentality before it turns into a complex.
@KostyaHeals It really was perfect. But we're trying to make a mature decision. I think we did the right thing. If we really are inseparable, then I'm sure we'll get back together after summer. And things will be even better =)
@Physicist Yes. Exactly. =)
Life in the fast lane, you can't slow down.
I'm so sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend broke up, I remember reading couple threads about relationships and yours seemed to be perfect. I'm sorry.
well i'm sorry about losing a boyfriend, but nice job utilizing your single life