General

[quote=sunsetvball]Don't worry about it! I think the way you're handling the situation is very mature of you. [/quote]

Thanks haha

[quote=sunsetvball]I'm a Christian and I don't think that you're overreacting.
Yes, your housemate is being a hypocrite by talking to you about religion and then getting drunk. Homosexuality is clearly stated to be a sin in the Bible but even if they believe in this, they shouldn't be shoving it down other peoples' throats. The way I see it (knowing many people who are gay) is to just see them as people and love them anyway. Unfortunately, many people that look at Christians and see how they aren't that different from non-believers compare us to some crazy standard. We're still humans and we're not perfect. I'm not saying that this is an excuse because obviously Christians should be careful of what they do. So I definitely understand your frustration at your housemate but try not to judge her more because she is a Christian.
Instead, just talk to her like you would talk to anybody else. Tell her how her comments and actions make you feel. If she brings religion into it, then maybe you could ask her about what kind of testimony she's giving when she bashes gay people and gets drunk.
If she's not going to change or if things get worse, then I would seriously consider moving out.
I hope everything works out![/quote]

Thanks for a rational response, I'll keep that in mind I'm going to feel so bad calling her out on drinking, because I really don't like deliberately confronting people that I actually know, but I'm not gonna have any choice sooner or later!

[quote=arlongpark]well do something like this. plan to move out and then when everything ready and you can move out any time you want, confront her about it and tell her youre bi. if she says anything that offends you go through with moving out. just a suggestion[/quote]

We already started putting plans into motion to live with two other people housemate #2 knows but I wasn't really consulted. It's not too late to pull out so I think I'm going to end up doing that, I just need to find other people first. If I'm complaining about them this much then it's just not worth it.

well do something like this. plan to move out and then when everything ready and you can move out any time you want, confront her about it and tell her youre bi. if she says anything that offends you go through with moving out. just a suggestion

She's a really nice friend when she's not being like this I've given her the benefit of the doubt so many times, just don't know how much longer I can turn the other cheek when it comes to her narrowmindedness and hypocrisy. And to think I'm supposed to be the atheist one -_-

well when i said to quote a bible verse that was more of a joke. and to make a point. anyways the part about them not letting an atheist move in because hes an atheist is kinda bad. she sounds like the stereotypical religious person mixed with hypocrisy. forget what i said at first you should move out. id be ashamed to be living with them

[quote=arlongpark]ok tell me a bible quote that says not to get drunk. not saying that there isnt one because there are but often when people say "the bibles says not to ___" they cant back it up and is usually from assumptions they made up from watching tv. works better in real life but anyways while you google that, you cant change how someone feels. no matter what kind of argument you give shes not going to suddenly not feel uncomfortable around gays. racism didnt diminish since the early 1900s because people changed their minds, the people who were racist died and the new generation were raised to accept people of all skins. someone idiot is gunna say "so youre saying she should kill her room mate?" no just be tolerant of her intolerance. if it means that much to you that you cant stand them anymore then go ahead and move out[/quote]

I used to be a Christian and abstained from alcohol until I was 19. First and foremost the body is supposed to be a temple and should be respected as such, that's fairly common knowledge to the religious peeps. I can't really be bothered picking specific verses as that's not really what I'm into these days so here's about 75:
http://www.scionofzion.com/drinking.htm

There are verses which will be interpreted as being for alcohol in the bible, but that's just another fun confusing aspect of the book. Anyway, my point was she drank to excess which isn't very Jesus-like. Pretty sure the odd sip of "wine" was alright but being completely trolleyed wasn't advocated in the bible.

And yeah, thanks for the good response I've been tolerant of a lot of her intolerance (not letting someone live with us because he's an atheist, going on about my boyfriend's long hair, asking about his beliefs and parents) but I think this is honestly just teh final straw. I'll try and hold out for another couple of weeks so I don't explode. I've tried to post this 5-6 times, keeps failing -_-

[quote=arlongpark]firstly i just want to point this out because it happens so often.
"I'd never be rude to a gay person I just don't really agree with it yeah?" Fair enough, but that to me is equally as ignorant as "I'd never be rude to black people I just don't like them."
ignorant simply means lacking in knowledge of. i dont think anyone can be lacking in knowledge in something that is opinion. you can be ignorant in something like chemistry but not this. the word youre looking for is probably insolent or maybe contemptuous
anyways i think youre over reacting. i have the same belief as the girl that said what i just quoted and its not paradoxical. she doesnt like homosexuality not the homosexual people. so if she found out you were gay she wouldnt or at least shouldnt treat you differently. its a sin and all of us are sinners. secluding others because of that is hypocritical[/quote]

Ignorance can be found in opinions, there isn't much in your argument proving otherwise. If you don't know something, that in itself can affect an opinion. Take for example in evolution. If you don't understand the mechanisms behind it, you might not be as inclined to believe the scientific theory. I also highly doubt that she would not be treated differently if she came out to her roommates if they're already being nosy about her private life.

[quote=OmNomBom]She said herself wouldn't be openly rude to a homosexual person but she said they make her feel uncomfortable. That to me means that's the actual person she would be having an issue with. I know she's following the bible, but she doesn't follow it when she succumbs to peer pressure and gets drunk. So why follow the part about homosexuality. Why doesn't common sense prevail and stop her from being uncomfortable around two people who love each other argh, I just... what![/quote]

ok tell me a bible quote that says not to get drunk. not saying that there isnt one because there are but often when people say "the bibles says not to ___" they cant back it up and is usually from assumptions they made up from watching tv. works better in real life but anyways while you google that, you cant change how someone feels. no matter what kind of argument you give shes not going to suddenly not feel uncomfortable around gays. racism didnt diminish since the early 1900s because people changed their minds, the people who were racist died and the new generation were raised to accept people of all skins. someone idiot is gunna say "so youre saying she should kill her room mate?" no just be tolerant of her intolerance. if it means that much to you that you cant stand them anymore then go ahead and move out

don't make waves, then movie out.

[quote=SupremeOFWGKTA]Chill out man, she just dont thinks you're gay. chill bro.[/quote]

Haha it's not even that, it's the stuff about giving "different beliefs and morals" as a reason for not having a friend in need live with us, and asking me what my boyfriend's beliefs were and what his parents morals were. Really, really... woah I guess this would be a good time to mention my ex-boyfriend was very religious and her family and his family know each other through the church. She still meets up with him etc. with her boyfriend and never really asked me if that would hurt my feelings. I think it's because they're all in the church they want to support him but they've really thrown my feelings to the wall in doing so.

For example, she invited my ex to her boyfriend's birthday party without really telling me, and then I turned up with my new boyfriend and great awkwardness ensued. She couldn't understand why, because in her perfect world everyone is friends I guess

Like I said, housemate #2 is also religious but I've never once cared about it. Why do I care so much about the other one arghhh I'm teetering between stopping myself being a hypocrite, and going into full rage mode.

[quote=tjhermit]Not to be offensive, but she was just following the Bible. Do you know how many time in the Bible it says that -this subject- is wrong?

Romans 1:26-32, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

This is just an example of course. I believe that everyone has the freedom of opinion.[/quote]

Deuteronomy 22:11
"Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together."

I guess I shall be seeing you in hell.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A37-39&version=NIV Read that verse and then show it to your housemates.
Now they either:
1. Hate themselves as much as they hate homosexuals
or
2. Don't know one of Jesus' most important teachings; to love and accept everyone no matter their background, race, religion, etc.
Should shut them right up, unless they're really stupid, then good luck.

[quote=arlongpark]anyways i think youre over reacting. i have the same belief as the girl that said what i just quoted and its not paradoxical. she doesnt like homosexuality not the homosexual people. so if she found out you were gay she wouldnt or at least shouldnt treat you differently. its a sin and all of us are sinners. secluding others because of that is hypocritical[/quote]

She said herself wouldn't be openly rude to a homosexual person but she said they make her feel uncomfortable. That to me means that's the actual person she would be having an issue with. I know she's following the bible, but she doesn't follow it when she succumbs to peer pressure and gets drunk. So why follow the part about homosexuality. Why doesn't common sense prevail and stop her from being uncomfortable around two people who love each other argh, I just... what!

Talk to her about how what she said bothers you
If I didn't like black people, would I be rude to them in front of them or would I keep those opinions to myself? If I were considerate, I would try my best to not insult someone I'm living with.

firstly i just want to point this out because it happens so often.
"I'd never be rude to a gay person I just don't really agree with it yeah?" Fair enough, but that to me is equally as ignorant as "I'd never be rude to black people I just don't like them."
ignorant simply means lacking in knowledge of. i dont think anyone can be lacking in knowledge in something that is opinion. you can be ignorant in something like chemistry but not this. the word youre looking for is probably insolent or maybe contemptuous
anyways i think youre over reacting. i have the same belief as the girl that said what i just quoted and its not paradoxical. she doesnt like homosexuality not the homosexual people. so if she found out you were gay she wouldnt or at least shouldnt treat you differently. its a sin and all of us are sinners. secluding others because of that is hypocritical

[quote=tjhermit]Not to be offensive, but she was just following the Bible. Do you know how many time in the Bible it says that -this subject- is wrong?

Romans 1:26-32, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, [b]disobedient to parents[/b], Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

This is just an example of course. I believe that everyone has the freedom of opinion.[/quote]

Either all of us are worthy of death or all of us are homosexual since we've disobeyed our parents at least once.

[quote=OmNomBom]I would see your point if she followed all aspects of the Bible, but she doesn't, she's been selective. She wasn't following the bible when she was drinking alcohol. So why is it okay for her to drink (ignoring the bible) but it's not okay when I call her out for being physically repulsed by homosexuals (following the bible). She can follow the parts that suits her to follow, which makes me think if she homophobic because of the bible or would she be like that regardless?[/quote]

How much alcohol does she drink? O.o
I mean it is fine to have 1-3 beers at a party. It is not ok for being completely drunk.
Only certain branches of Christianity disagree with Alcohol (Mormons being one of them).

Again, you have the right to express your opinion, but she does too. If this completely turns into a giant mess, one of you should move out. It is for the best.

[quote=tjhermit]Not to be offensive, but she was just following the Bible. Do you know how many time in the Bible it says that -this subject- is wrong?

Romans 1:26-32, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

This is just an example of course. I believe that everyone has the freedom of opinion.[/quote]

I would see your point if she followed all aspects of the Bible, but she doesn't, she's been selective. She wasn't following the bible when she was drinking alcohol. So why is it okay for her to drink (ignoring the bible) but it's not okay when I call her out for being physically repulsed by homosexuals (following the bible). She can follow the parts that suits her to follow, which makes me think if she homophobic because of the bible or would she be like that regardless?

@Fusion09: I'd have the same reaction if I were completely straight I think, but I don't really want people knowing that anyway haha

[quote=OmNomBom]Yes, she could tell it really pissed me off and that's why she brought it up in the car when she was giving me a lift. I did say, "I understand sometimes I can be a bit too open-minded," but she completely ruined it again by saying, "I would never be rude to them I just don't agree with them." Like they're a different species or something. I don't know. We changed topic after that. I don't think I could bring it up again without causing more problems because we had an unrelated argument tonight about her telling the landlord's painter to come and decorate my room on the only day I said I wasn't available -_-
.[/quote]

in that case.. then shrug it off. its true, you might cause more problems than you need. in the other hand, maybe if she knew about your bisexuality, she would refrain about saying comments like that and respect that. maybe she said those things because she thought it was funny for you too. friends do that all the time, they say stupid remarks just because they think its funny to you and want to make you laugh. remember, she has no idea of your sexuality.

Not to be offensive, but she was just following the Bible. Do you know how many time in the Bible it says that -this subject- is wrong?

Romans 1:26-32, "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

This is just an example of course. I believe that everyone has the freedom of opinion.

[quote=Chocorate]You're not overreacting, this person is an ignorant jerk. They're giving religious people a bad name, too.[/quote]

Religious people give religious people a bad name.

Zing.

@TS: What would actually happen if you decided to confront your roomies about these underlying issues? If that becomes an issue of its own, then I would just follow your plan to get out of there.

[quote=Fusion09]i know its gonna sound cheesy and cliche but you have to talk to them. youre living with them, theyre your friends. their reaction after that will make your choices much easier.

sometimes, you have to be rough to people. thats the only way people understand, the hard way. you gotta talk clear to them. nevermind that, seems to me the one with the problem is your female friend. the one that did that remark of "adam and steve". talk to her in private. if she is a good friend and at least isnt a total moron about it, she will understand.[/quote]

Yes, she could tell it really pissed me off and that's why she brought it up in the car when she was giving me a lift. I did say, "I understand sometimes I can be a bit too open-minded," but she completely ruined it again by saying, "I would never be rude to them I just don't agree with them." Like they're a different species or something. I don't know. We changed topic after that. I don't think I could bring it up again without causing more problems because we had an unrelated argument tonight about her telling the landlord's painter to come and decorate my room on the only day I said I wasn't available -_-

@Jobrjo: Sorry, I meant she was laughing as she was telling the throwing-up story. Like it was some funny anecdote or something. I couldn't even respond with anything more articulate than, "W-Wait, what?" If it's brought up again I'll try and share my side with her.

i know its gonna sound cheesy and cliche but you have to talk to them. youre living with them, theyre your friends. their reaction after that will make your choices much easier.

sometimes, you have to be rough to people. thats the only way people understand, the hard way. you gotta talk clear to them. nevermind that, seems to me the one with the problem is your female friend. the one that did that remark of "adam and steve". talk to her in private. if she is a good friend and at least isnt a total moron about it, she will understand.

EDIT: in short, i agree with you. youre not overreacting

It sounds like she picks and chooses what religious stuff she wants to listen to... I like that she was drunk and had a hangover. lol

[quote=Jobrjo]I suggest you accept what they are saying. Fact is, they are right.
But I don't suppose my post will change your mid in th least. But your friends wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose. They're doing this for your good, and probably because they love you. If they didn't care about where you'd be eternally, they wouldn'tdo what they are doing.[/quote]

I just can't fathom how two people being in love made her physically vomit, she thought it was hilarious. When I was a Christian I fully supported gay couples, and I still do support them. Love is love, in my eyes, I just can't believe the extent to which it affected her It was a real eye-opener to me.

I had a similar problem a few years back. The best solution is to tell them to not medal and respect one others privacy. My very first roommate and I were pretty good friends but then he just became so arrogant that after a month we just stopped talking to each other.. But yeah tell them to just chill.

@BunniesRus: Yeah it's completely independent of the university, we were three friends who wanted to move out and just decided to find a house together. I'm trying to see which other friends at the minute are willing to move out with me when our current lease ends. I just don't know if I should be too hasty in ditching them. The guy she said shouldn't live with us because of his beliefs and morals actually lives with her boyfriend at the minute who is equally as religious and not as narrow-minded as her. Crazy.

@solov: Yeah the real gold is that she was hungover. She goes on nights out all the time etc., a few months ago I said I was going to stop drinking alcohol and she tried to talk me out of it. Very Christian.

Sometimes I wish people would just stop talking about religious things on Basil.

Stay Gold, Ponyboy