General

Just ended my 3 year

Hey basil, just trying to share some personal information for your responses.

About 4-5 days ago, i ended my 3 year relationship. i ended it friday night. well, here are my reasons for doing so.

There was nothing really wrong with the girl. i met her in highschool, started dating mid junior year, and stayed with her for 3 years and 1 month. She was my first girlfriend. She was not my first love, ive liked a bunch of other girls before, and liked them for a long time, but they either never liked me or just ended up hurting me.

This girl treated me right, she always slept over my house, im 20 atm, we basically got so accustomed to living together. i'd say 3-6 days of the week were spend at my house.

i broke up with her because i wanted to be single. i havent been single in so long, and i honestly want to have some fun. After 3 years, i was really thinking, where is this relationship heading. Marriage? I think its too early to think about that. But.....will we be together forever? I wasn't sure what i thought about that. Sometimes i could see us forever, but most of the time i couldnt. So i felt i wasnt 100% in this relationship, and it would be unfair for her to stick it out.

Here are some extra details though, 2 weeks before we broke up, i went to a coworkers party. I work at a huge grocery store with lots of people my age. Literally huge, owns safeway. but i went to this party, i wanted my gf to come (now my ex), but she had to do a school project with lots of people. So im at this party drinking, and one of my guy friends slap my ass for fun. And this coworker girl says, "if you didn't have a girlfriend, i'd do the same to you". I'm kind of like "what?" and just ignore it. Then later she pulls me close to her, and for like 10 seconds we are just face to face hugging somewhat. Then i dance with her for 10 seconds, but stop cause i feel guilty. Later i just dance by myself all alone, no one bothering me. At 5 in the morning, when theres only like 5 ppl left, im about to leave the party. The coworker girl hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. Then my gf picks me up and we go to my house, and she sleeps at my house.

I wake up and im so guilty. Just so guilty. Even though we didn't do anything, except hug, and she gave me a suprise peck. I liked it. I really did. I haven't had this fun, or lust, or spark in so long. And i just felt terrible with my gf. The coworker was somewhat ignoring me at work, and when i asked her, "You have fun at the party? You remember anything?" She blatantly says, "Oh i don't remember anything, i was blacked out." I'm thinking she felt guilty as well, she knows i have a gf.

Well i started getting attached to this girl, my coworker, while im still with my gf. My heart would kind of skip when i saw at her work. Then later the most unexpected thing happens. This coworker goes to my community college, and i see her randomly, but we only say hi. I see her randomly, we say hi, and we start talking for like 2 mins. As trying to respectful to her, since i don't want to bother her, i try to walk away, (I don't like to bother people if they don't want to hang out with me) but she continues this conversation, so i understand she wants to talk. Eventually we sit down at a bench and just talk for like 40 mins about our lives. I then find out so much about her....she already has a bachelors, went to UCLA, just working and going to community college until she has to leave. She was in a 3 year, but she told me she broke it off because she was content with the relationship, but not over the top happy. This was kind of how i felt about my relationship....i think. I don't really know what she feels about me. But i dont know. I know im more infatuated with her, then she is with me. Ha she doesnt even think of me honestly. She was just blacked...

Well overall i broke up with my gf, because i wanted to be single, and because i felt wrong thinking about this coworker while being in this relationship. I don't think anything will happen with this coworker.

My girlfriend is devastated, when i broke up with her, and we talked for the reasons. She just cried and cried. I told her i wanted to be single, and i didn't see a future. She thought we would always be together, even have kids later. Also the break up came out of nowhere. She loved me so much, she will be heartbroken for months, i already know it. She literally put everything into this relationship. And i cant complain, there was nothing wrong with her. She was beautiful. But i just kind of want more. I feel like i wasnt crazy about her, and wanted that feeling again.

I think i want to be single and be with other girls.

What are your thoughts basil? I don't really plan on getting back with this girl, but i do feel guilty. And i dont know....just guilty. I know shes hurting so much.

Am i a butthole? or is this for the right reasons. I just thought i couldnt give it 100%.

well let me hear your responses.