General

Suicidal thoughts

I've always had them, even to the point that i would be sacred that i might even do it since people think i won't do it (Like showing them off). For example I sometimes when hold sharp objects i would think to myself what would happen if i went where no one could find me and started to cut my vital points and just sit there in agonizing pain, dying a painful slow death where no one could find me until there was that 2 day old dead body scent coming from somewhere and then i was found with a death note telling them why i did it or make like a youtube video where i put it out live and i got like couple viewers watching and tell them about my story of hardship ive gone through that no one knew and when the time came and hopefully have alot more viewers i would just kill myself right there and let people watch my death. I would think it would be sad, but in the end when people are sad and they have no last resort, the best way is to end it quick.
Have you guys had any suicidal thoughts? I would like to know so i can add it to my collection.

Edit: I've thought of a new way euthanasia, they allow it Europe, so i guess i can start off by disappearing for long periods of time so people don't think im up to something and when the time comes i could be away forever. Like i wasn't even there and no one would miss me when im gone. So it another win-win situation

Edit 2: I've got like 5 suicide hotlines on my phone. Im being selfish according to my brother

Edit 3: Im going to lock this thread or delete it. I've always had that feeling if i told anyone people would down on me and when people look down on me i feel even worse.Thanks for voting on the Poll, Im going watch a sad movie and go to bed.