i come to you for advice, basil
hello
i know u know i don't look to the internet for relationship/love/etc. advice, but i think this situation may (or may not) call for it
as of late i've developed an immensely strong crush on this guy - he's a bit of a public figure in a(n unnamed) hobby that i'm also interest in, and coincidentally studies at my university. my roommate's had conversation with him before, and when the three of us were briefly together, she introduced me as the "girl who got [her roommate] into (hobby)." they're not close or anything like that, just on a hello-hi basis
why am i attracted to him? frankly he's one of the most beautiful person i've ever seen - seriously, my heart throbs even if i see him for a few seconds. i've heard he's extremely humble and genuine, furthering my curiosity. he's superbly talented and evidently cares a lot about his work. not much else to it, but this is the first person in a while that's made feel sum typa way
he's transgender (born a she)
i know i should, and may eventually, muster up the courage to ask him out for a drink - don't get me wrong, i've had it real easy with guys in the past. .but i'm discouraged because of this circumstance. he's spoken about his past relationship, and the only person he's ever dated was because that person saw gender the same way he did: absent. his ex is gender fluid (does not conform to "boy" or "girl" traits), and saw my "crush" as neither a male nor female. i fear i'm too ... gender..esque(?). i'm a straight female who takes pride in her feminine looks (hah, well sort of)
what're your thoughts?
8 Comments • Newest first
give it a try and see how it goes! who knows?
If he's genuine and down-to-earth and you don't make him feel awkward, I think you should be more than okay. Just be nice and don't focus on his transexuality--make it apparent you like him because of who he is as a person and that nothing else matters, you should be fine
two things:
first:
your name is "fakestories" so i didnt read ur post
second:
you caught feelings so youre a beta
send me a snapchat of ur crush
go 4 it date him marry him love him.
@antisenpai uahah thank you for your words of encouragement - no i don't plan on treating anybody any differently, however i'm being a tiny bit more cautious with him for above reason :>
thanks @reticent @thezigen - now that you've mentioned it, i don't know what i want from talking to him, but i don't think it's a relationship. ; ;
I don't think being strongly tied to your gender should discourage from seeking a relationship with them, obviously you're accepting of the fact that they are nonbinary so that's find on your end. I think the only way you can really be certain if they'd be willing to date someone who is so entertwined with their gender is to ask them out? I wouldn't make assumptions based on their past history even if it can be discouraging
best of luck!
Well, the thing about dating is that people know what they want over time. If you're positive that he only seeks relationships with people that see gender as absent, then I guess you do not really have a chance. But since his hobby is the same as your hobby, you can probably become good friends and maybe as you grow up he'll change his perspective on what he wants in a partner and might be interested in you one day.
Hm, you've gotten yourself into quite a interesting situation!
Though your "problem" has quite a easy solution!
Just don't care ^^
I'm not going to spell out what attraction is, just be yourself, give some hints that you're interested, but whatever you do, do not change you for anyone. Idgaf if it's the hottest guy in the world, you remain yourself and if they don't notice you then well, they missed out on someone great! ^^
Remember! That person is an ex for a reason! Don't try to be like them, be you! Be that strong, beautiful woman that you are and go for what you want! ^^
So, uhm, sorry if I didn't help, but that's my awesome advise! ^^ I've met a few transsexuals, online and in life, at work and what not, what they want, is to be identified as what they claim they are. If they're born a female and identify themselves as a male, then treat them as a guy. Don't get all worried that you're doing something wrong, just don't treat them any differently. ^^
Mwhaha! Good luck! I hope everything goes well!