Advice for this essay
So my history teacher wants the class to write an essay about problems in America. I chose the education and system . I need your advice if this is a good start.
As a country that has developed and evolved over centuries we're going backwards. Let me bring you up to speed. In 2001, when George Bush signed the No Child Left Behind Act, we made a mistake. We made such a catastrophic mistake that it affected the generations to come and the generations currently in school. And frankly, it's terrifying to see no one doing anything about it.
In most countries there is an education system. Some are different from others, some are better, and some are worse. America is ranked 17th in the world for education. Our education system that we're providing for students is flawed. From the start kids are taught that "the teacher is always right." And the only way to have a future is through good grades and college. If this system continues to run this way, after generation and generation students will be dumber and dumber.
Every kid has a dream and they should be able to pursue it. From the start students should be taught life lessons they'll need to use every day. They should be taught things they'll need to know for what job they want to have in the future. Teachers are teaching students things they need to know for tests and not what the student wants. If the students do well on the test the school earns money. This system is abused to the point where generations are being taught useless information.
9 Comments • Newest first
Okay. So.. is this a persuaive essay?
if it is, then how many paragraphs will it be?
Standard, i'm assuming you're in highschool, for hs is 5.
intro paragraph is alright, needs a bit of tweaking. then you need three body paragraphs,a nd the conclusion paragraph.
your topic is the education system in America. You need three 'bullet points' on why the education system is so bad, for your three paragraphs.
I'm just kinda pulling this out of my butt but here:
- no child left behind policy
- misconceptions about teachers
- college is mandatory for a good future.
Using these, your thesis statement would be something like: "The American education system is bad because of the No Child Left Behind policy, misconceptions about teachers, and the fact that college is mandatory for a good future" (this sentence should be the very last one in your topic paragraph.)
After your topic paragraph, just start off by writing one body paragraph per bullet point.
I.e.:
"The No Child Left Behind policy ruined the education system because it blahblahblah. When this Act Was instated, it encouraged teachers to 'cheat' on test scores by marking up ther children's test scores to ensure more money from the government. .... ... (don't copy this i'm just pulling crap out of my butt, but you get the idea, right? put a nice 5-6 sentence paragraph about the no child left behind policy here)
then just do that for the next two bullet points.
after that, for your conclusion paragraph, all you need to do it reiterate. Write one sentence about each of the body paragraphs that's fresh. (basically just re-word the thesis statement [that's the first sentence of each of the body paragraphs, which sums up the point of the paragraph.])
After that.... you're done
hope I helped
@kevin0617: i hate them too LOL
but if you dont make one you will eventually go off track or forget to say something. in the end it helps so it wont be messy.
and yw~
@mechibi I hate outlines :c but ty for the help
I wish we had more classes that actually geared toward the real world.
Like, "how to be an adult: how to pay taxes, how to find a job, how to buy a house, etc." because i don't know any of that and i'm considered an "adult."
wait a second America has the best Education system... Along with Canada!
did you even make a outline? this might sound like a waste of time but it helps
thesis:
>give backround info of america, sentence or 2.
>say the problem
>answer vaguely
>say points which u will talk about
>if the thesis and the essay dont match up then the thesis is wrong
America, the land of opportunity? or is it really? Taking a closer look at the education system, one can see the flaws. These flaws can be shown through >insert point/proof 1<, >2<, >3<
sonmething like that
Imma eat my noodles and be back
@xoqtprincessxo Oops! that was part of the title
OKay first of all, "America" is not a sentence
I feel like anything you say after that abomination about education will be disregarded.