Oi you naughty children, it's past your bed time
What, you want me to tell you a goodnight story? Fine, here's a fairy tale from a Czechoslovakia village!
One of the villagers had left his home to try his luck abroad. After twenty-five years, having made a fortune, he returned to his country with his wife and child. Meanwhile his mother and sister had been running a small hotel in the village where he was born. He decided to give them a surprise and, leaving his wife and child in another inn, he went to stay at his mother's place, booking a room under an assumed name. His mother and sister completely failed to recognize him. At dinner that evening he showed them a large sum of money he had on him, and in the course of the night they slaughtered him with a hammer. After taking the money they flung the body into the river. Next morning his wife came and, without thinking, betrayed the guest's identity. His mother hanged herself and his sister threw herself down a well. Czechs are weird eh?
9 Comments • Newest first
haha thank you for the stories
@lokithestrange: youre poopy, overused and low energy
@redeyed: It's a common shitpost, you don't see it that much anymore because it's over used and low energy
@nolen: There's a new one in the comments.
3rd time reading this loki
@redeyed: Kibble has posted that before, too.
^ that posts reminds of an ex basiler who now on bzl saying about b chest and 100k a year engineer
what the ** did you just *king say about me, you little bich? ill have you know i graduated top of my class in the navy seals, and ive been involved in numerous secret raids on al quada, and i have over 300 confirmed kills
i am trained in gorilla warfare and im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces
you are nothing to me but just another target
i will wipe you the k out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth, mark my king words
you think you can get away with saying that st to me over the Internet? think again, *ker
as we speak i am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot
the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life
your ***king dead, kid
i can be anywhere, anytime, and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands
not only am i extensively trained in unarmed combat, but i have access to the entire arsenal of the United States marine corps and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****
if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever post was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your uking tongue but you couldnt, you didnt, and now your paying the price, you goddamn idiot
i will ***t fury all over you and you will drown in it
youre ***king dead, kiddo.
What, you've heard that one before? I can't tell the same story over and over again anymore? Fine! Oi kids, if you can keep your mouths shut for just five minutes, then I'll tell you the story about Little Red Cap while when I can still make sense out of it. Old Captain Limusocobobo told it to me long ago when I was still little and dumb like you are now. And Captain Limusocobobo never lied. So perk your ears 'cause I am not gonna repeat myself.
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- There was once a little girl. She was dubbed Little Red Cap--that means, she was given the name because she wore a red cap on her head day and night. She was a beautiful girl, red as blood and white as snow, and black as ebony with large round eyes. From behind her legs were very thick and in front--well, to be brief, she was a hell of a beautiful, wonderful, fine lass. And one day her mother sent her through the woods to grandmother who was naturally sick, And the mother gave Little Red Cap a basket with three bottles of Spanish wine and two bottles of Scotch and a bottle of Rostocker rye and a bottle of Swedish punch and a honk of schnaps and some more bottles of beer and cake and all kinds of junk that was supposed to help the grandmother strengthen herself.
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- "Little Red Cap," the mother said extra. "Don't stray off the path, for there are wild wolves in the woods!" (The entire story must have taken place in Nikolayevich or somewhere in Siberia). Little Red Cap promised everything and took off. And the wolf met her in the woods. "Little Red Cap," he asked, "where are you going?" And she told him everything you already know. And he asked: "Where does your grandmother live?" floor." And she told him the exact address: "222 N Sepulveda Blvd" And then the wolf showed the child where there were juicy raspberries and strawberries and enticed her from the path deep into the woods.
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- And while she busily picked berries, the wolf ran full sail ahead to 222 N Sepulveda Blvd and knocked on the door of the ground floor at Grandmother Rachelll's place. The grandmother was a suspicious old woman with many holes in her teeth. nut's why she asked rudely: 'Who's knocking there at my door?" And then the wolf answered outside with a disguised voice: "It's me, sleeping beauty." And then the old woman called out: "Come in!" And the wolf swept into the room. And then the old woman put on her nightgown and bonnet and ate the wolf all up.
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- In the meantime Little Red Cap had lost her way in the woods. And she was just like most dumb-ass girls are so she began to bawl and the hunter heard her deep in the woods and rushed to her side. Well and what matter is it to us what the two of them wanted to do there deep in the woods since it had become very dark in the meantime. At any rate he did bring her to the right path. So she ran now to 222 N Sepulveda Blvd And there she saw that her grandmother had become fat and bloated.
And Little Red Cap asked: "Grandmother, why do you have such big eyes?"
And the grandmother answered: "That's so I can see you better!"
And then Little and Cap asked again: "Grandmother, why do you have such big ears?"
And the grandmother answered: "That's so I can hear you better"
And then Little Red Cap asked again: "Grandmother. why do you have such a big mouth?"
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- Now is that the right thing for children to say to a grownup grand-mother? So the old woman became stark raving mad and couldn't utter one more word. Instead she ate Little Red Girl up. And then she moved like a whale. And just then the hunter passed by outside. And he wondered how a whale could have landed in El Segundo. And so he loaded his rifle and drew his long knife out of it's sheath and entered the room without knocking. And there to his horror he saw the bloated grandmother in bed instead of the whale. And the gluttonous old woman ate up the hunter too.
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- Yeah, you brats are gaping with wide-open mouths. Waiting for some-thing more to come. But clear out of here now quick as the wind otherwise I'll tan your hides. My throat's become completely, dry from these dumb, stupid stories which are only all lies anyway. March yourselves out of here and let your old Loki drink one down now, you leftover small fry!
loki pls stop and start getting some help