How would you feel about this
Hey guys,
Just wondering.
I'm currently in a relationship for 6 months with my girlfriend, and we love each other a lot.
We talk and know about everything from each other, and we see each other around 20 days a month.
I'm wondering how you guys think about this situation.
We trust each other a lot, so that isn't the problem. Because whenever we feel something that doesn't feel right we say it to each other to talk it out.
She has a very good friend, which she knows for 3/4 years.
They're hanging out once every month to keep contact.
But a few years ago in her first relationship, the love between them was over and she didn't break up yet.
But in the time, she had (sexytime, the word xxx is not allowed to say here) with that friend for 5 months.
She had sexy time because she wasn't happy in that current relationship, and she was younger and didn't care about then.
They haven't had sexytime in 3/3,5 years now.
Whenever she goes there I feel sick, annoyed and restless.
And I don't know why, because we trust each other so much and we talk about everything.
She even asked me if I wanted to come with her so I could see that nothing is happening, I can go with her every time.
But I don't want to be that boyfriend who forbids things, so I'm not going to say that she can't see him anymore.
How would you feel about this if you were me? And what would you do?
7 Comments • Newest first
[quote=TrueAtheist]Literally everything you described has happened to me too.[/quote]
My god, me too for the most part
[quote=Capricious]I can relate, bro. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.
You should break up with her. This uneasy feeling you have will only get worse as she continues to spend more time with that friend (I'm speaking from personal experience). @TrueAtheist makes a good point too, as this is kind of leading to (if it's not already) emotionally cheating.
There's also the chance that those old, forgotten "feelings" can be brought back to life, y'know? Like how people get in touch with their ex, spend some time together, and a few months later they feel like they're ready for another round.
Edit: I would like to add that... I was in a similar situation. However, I made the mistake of giving her the benefit on the doubt. Although she did not cheat on me throughout the relationship, she still kind of did (emotionally, I mean). Near the end of our relationship, we were constantly fighting and were very impatient with one another. During that time, she got in touch with one of her ex boyfriends. This is a guy she used to cheat with all the time when she was much younger (when she told me about this little fact, I felt sick to my stomach because a lot of the guys she dated in the past sounded like pretty nice, chill dudes. They didn't deserve to be cheated on - no one does. I especially felt sick, because the guy she cheated on them with was such a tool. The scummiest, most vile person you can imagine). Anyways, she got in touch with this guy (because throughout the entirety of my relationship with her, he always tried to get into her pants and continue that cheating streak they had but she never went through it with him - she said I was the first guy to make her forget about him) and basically went to talk to him and spend time with him whenever she felt unhappy or needed to vent about our relationship. This went on for 3 or 4 months behind my back. Things eventually started to shape up and I felt like we would be okay... but little did I know that it felt this way only because she had been spending time with this guy. One morning, she messaged me on Skype and told me that it was over. I asked why but never got a clear-cut answer until she told me a few days later that she has been talking to her ex and that she feels like he deserves a second chance for the 49th time.[/quote]
Literally everything you described has happened to me too.
Yeah I don't know why you'd date someone who can make you that uncomfortable...
I can relate, bro. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.
You should break up with her. This uneasy feeling you have will only get worse as she continues to spend more time with that friend (I'm speaking from personal experience). @TrueAtheist makes a good point too, as this is kind of leading to (if it's not already) emotionally cheating.
There's also the chance that those old, forgotten "feelings" can be brought back to life, y'know? Like how people get in touch with their ex, spend some time together, and a few months later they feel like they're ready for another round.
Edit: I would like to add that... I was in a similar situation. However, I made the mistake of giving her the benefit on the doubt. Although she did not cheat on me throughout the relationship, she still kind of did (emotionally, I mean). Near the end of our relationship, we were constantly fighting and were very impatient with one another. During that time, she got in touch with one of her ex boyfriends. This is a guy she used to cheat with all the time when she was much younger (when she told me about this little fact, I felt sick to my stomach because a lot of the guys she dated in the past sounded like pretty nice, chill dudes. They didn't deserve to be cheated on - no one does. I especially felt sick, because the guy she cheated on them with was such a tool. The scummiest, most vile person you can imagine). Anyways, she got in touch with this guy (because throughout the entirety of my relationship with her, he always tried to get into her pants and continue that cheating streak they had but she never went through it with him - she said I was the first guy to make her forget about him) and basically went to talk to him and spend time with him whenever she felt unhappy or needed to vent about our relationship. This went on for 3 or 4 months behind my back. Things eventually started to shape up and I felt like we would be okay... but little did I know that it felt this way only because she had been spending time with this guy. One morning, she messaged me on Skype and told me that it was over. I asked why but never got a clear-cut answer until she told me a few days later that she has been talking to her ex and that she feels like he deserves a second chance for the 49th time.
You're being cheated on. She might not be physically cheating.. yet, but she is emotionally cheating on you and she will eventually do something with the guy if she hasn't already.
It's the sad truth.
Watta ho
"But a few years ago in her first relationship, the love between them was over and she didn't break up yet.
But in the time, she had (sexytime, the word xxx is not allowed to say here) with that friend for 5 months."
So she was dating Guy A, but having sex with Guy B?
Once a cheater, always a cheater in my books. I'd leave her.