General

@Jarretboyle : I know this is a little bit behind the fact, but I thought I'd still message you back.

When it comes to you and your dating life, I wouldn't call it 'discrimination'. For lack of a better word, maybe "preference", or "your type" -- but you get my gist. If it was just some random encounter and there was 0 chance of me potentially getting romantically involved with that person, then I could care less what they do for a living, what their skin colour is, their sexuality, or whatever else. But when it comes to meeting people that have the potential I could be involved with, I have this set 'blueprint' in my mind of what type of person I want to be with -- and I'm not discriminating against him simply because he doesn't fit that blueprint. I don't think any less of him simply because he doesn't match my ideals in a future partner.

@Vicariously : Thanks for your input, but honestly it was just a fling. I'm not "in love", and I'm not defending this thing any longer. This thread wasn't even supposed to be about 'me' and my dating trials -- but more so just a general discussion about non-normal career choices and how that affects your decision whether you would want to pursue that person or not.

I'm pretty sure that the only thing going through a womans mind at that point would be does he make 6 figures or is a millionaire etc...

[quote=Jarretboyle]No need to be defensive.[/quote]
sorry<3
kk have a niceday ^-^

[quote=Jarretboyle]Discrimination is simply categorizing in a negative fashion. You categorize people based on their careers here, now based on what they do you either approve or disprove of it. This disapproval and approval is the foundation of getting intimate or not with them. Racists do the same if not a similar process, they disprove of your race and think less of you. It sounds like you think less of them because you won't date them or at least that's what I'm seeing but I'm not really reading all these pages
If that's not you, I'm talking to air again.[/quote]
she never said she disapproves of anyone's job or race. refusing to date someone does not imply she thinks less of them.
dating someone implies that your boyfriend/girlfriend is the person you hold to the highest esteem and they're the person that you can potentially love. if she refuses to date someone because of a particular race or a particular job, that does not imply she holds that person to a low esteem. it simply means she knows herself well enough to know that there's no potential for her to hold that person to the [b]highest[/b] esteem.
the fact that she is wasting any time on basilmarket about this issue means that she is trying to keep an open-mind about it.

you cannot force love and she isnt hurting anyone. the hairstylist is a grown man and im sure he can find someone else who would be willing to date him. your outlandish claims arent helping anyone.

Depends entirely on the type of job & how heavily it reflects their personality.

[quote=ulti25]Putting aside financial reasons, if the choice was purely based on what they did for a living, I wouldn't care.

But in reality, certain occupations have a tendency to attract people with certain characteristics and other occupations even restrict unfavorable characteristics relative to the majority of the people that make up that group. Different careers demand different levels of education and people tend to attract other people with the same level of education, so while I'd be reluctant to say it plays a role, I wouldn't say that attraction and careers are independent of one another.

But in the end I'm really making a generalization and exceptions always exist.

EDIT:

If you're talking about gender roles, I'd actually be more comfortable marrying a woman with a job that has no real sexual connotations or a "woman" job (I'm a man) than a woman with a "manly" job. It'd just feel strange if it weren't that way. The reason for me feeling strange probably has to do with me projecting the characteristics "manly" jobs are associated with onto the woman, whether those characteristics actually exist or not.[/quote]

Thank you, finally someone who gets it.

I'd like to say I wouldn't mind, but there are certain 'professions' that... I just wouldn't care to be associated with, even if only by a relationship. I wouldn't really want to date a politician, a law enforcement officer, or that does any sort of erotic films/performances or other degrading jobs. I'm not saying all the people that choose those careers are all not worth pursuing, but I really wouldn't care for a boyfriend of mine to be one of them.

[quote=trashed]Yes and no. I guess it depends on more than just that, but after thinking about it (after having this discussion with friends) I came to the personal conclusion that I would find it weird to be with a male hair stylist, or possibly a guy with a similar "feminine" type of career. I guess there's more to it but I can't really explain it, but it just seems unnatural or something.
Haha. No. He was quite the opposite actually.[/quote]
i thought so. i'm sure this is not the first time someone reacted this way to his job. he could've very easily told a white lie and went with a more masculine job title like "barber" or something, but he didn't.
he was honest, secure in his masculinity, and i think he really likes you. he sounds like a really sweet and cute guy....

i would date him, give me his number! (jk)

Putting aside financial reasons, if the choice was purely based on what they did for a living, I wouldn't care.

But in reality, certain occupations have a tendency to attract people with certain characteristics and other occupations even restrict unfavorable characteristics relative to the majority of the people that make up that group. Different careers demand different levels of education and people tend to attract other people with the same level of education, so while I'd be reluctant to say it plays a role, I wouldn't say that attraction and careers are independent of one another.

But in the end I'm really making a generalization and exceptions always exist.

EDIT:

If you're talking about gender roles, I'd actually be more comfortable marrying a woman with a job that has no real sexual connotations or a "woman" job (I'm a man) than a woman with a "manly" job. It'd just feel strange if it weren't that way. The reason for me feeling strange probably has to do with me projecting the characteristics "manly" jobs are associated with onto the woman, whether those characteristics actually exist or not.

[quote=RugbyBall]Deciding to pursue someone based on their job is pretty immature thinking.

On second thought, that's downright pathetic.[/quote]

Which is why the thread is about "NOT wanting to pursue someone based on their career."

@zoneflare2

Wow you're almost 30 and you can't read through my whole post let alone comprehend what I even said. Here, let's look back at what I originally said: "I'm not even saying that I'm interested in this guy, but then the question came up..." and then I decided to create this thread to start a discussion about it. Nowhere throughout the thread was I giving personal examples, except for the thread opening. But again, this thread wasn't ever supposed to be about 'me', but more so that I wanted to start a discussion with Basilers and hear their opinions.

So when you're implying that I'm "freaked out about his career choice" is kind of funny, because you completely missed the point of the thread. This wasn't some typical basil relationship advice thread, it was just a general discussion. I already said I wasn't interested in him, so there's that.

Also, you have got to be kidding me about that statement about "working some dead end job with no college degree". Please, no need to imply the same for everyone else just because that may be true for you.

This is for @zoneflare2 and @Jarretboyle:

Because you say I'm "close-minded", or "selfish" or whatever else, I disagree. Career choice is different from ethnicity, so you can't use that as an example for "discriminating" someone based on their job. One is chosen, one you're born into. Just because I have some sort of standards with the people I get involved with, other than the mindset of "ok he's employed, good enough for me" -- I think that's a good thing.

[quote=Vicariously]im confused about what you're trying to say. are you saying that you feel morally obligated to not date people who have jobs that are not compatible with their gender roles?[/quote]

Yes and no. I guess it depends on more than just that, but after thinking about it (after having this discussion with friends) I came to the personal conclusion that I would find it weird to be with a male hair stylist, or possibly a guy with a similar "feminine" type of career. I guess there's more to it but I can't really explain it, but it just seems unnatural or something.

[quote=Vicariously]is the hairstylist you met at the bar excessively flamboyant?[/quote]
Haha. No. He was quite the opposite actually.

[quote=trashed] not getting involved with someone based on moral reasons, (when I brought up the stripper example).[/quote]
im confused about what you're trying to say. are you saying that you feel morally obligated to not date people who have jobs that are not compatible with their gender roles?

OT: if you feel uncomfortable with someone, then you feel uncomfortable with him. you shouldnt feel like you're being forced to date him for the sake of being "open-minded." it's your life and you can date/not date whoever you want.

aside from the financial reasons and the demand of work hours, i dont think your career choice matters that much. if i like the guy before i get to know what his job is, then i don't think it's a problem. i think it would make an interesting story to hear how his life turned out this way and what series of events led him to make these career choices.

is the hairstylist you met at the bar excessively flamboyant?

@zonflare2 : I think you missed the point. As I even wrote in my original post, I said "this wasn't a question about financial reasons, but rather about jobs that society would consider non-normal based on reversed gender roles".

You said you would marry a professional ballerina, which wasn't a good example for the question whatsoever, considering a female ballerina is pretty much the epitome for feminine professions. (Unless you're implying you would marry a male ballerina, then hey congrats on coming out to all of Basil).

[quote=SpellCorrectly]I think it depends on the person's education status. Are both people in the same level of education? Is the woman, for example, in a medical field where the male is a server/waiter? Or vice versa.

I think this would turn into a sexist kind of thing just because we're basing it off gender and their careers. IMO, I don't mind dating a woman who is highly educated but not to the point where she's in charge of everything including the bills, mortgage etc.[/quote]

That's another good point. I guess I shouldn't have just simplified the question to only being about reversed gender roles, because different levels of education within peoples careers is another huge reason why people decide not to get romantically involved with someone else. A lot of people in this thread who are answering by saying that work is work, and if you love someone enough you will find a way to make it work -- aren't really thinking about the question too hard before answering because there are a myriad of reasons that can affect your incompatibility.

Someone else in the thread mentioned not wanting to get involved with someone with a career that has really demanding hours, which is another good point... Or not getting involved with someone based on moral reasons, (when I brought up the stripper example).

Clearly the poll is inaccurate, because I can't be the only one who wouldn't bother pursuing someone romantically because I disagree with what they do for a living. I can't be the only one.

i don't care but i just ask that they HAVE a job, and if it's not full time, that they're actively pursuing full time employment. please be able to support yourself.

i'm a female working in a manufacturing environment with all male coworkers. there's one other female on my shift, but she's in welding. does that make me unattractive?

@BladeSoul69 lol

@haonthemage But still sub-consciously you would be deciding whether or not it's worth your time to get to know someone / romantically get involved with someone based on their job.

@SpellCorrectly Yes, generally any job that society would consider non-normal based on reversed gender roles.

@haonthemage but would you take the time to get to know someone if you found out their career was something that's socially "not normal"? You don't love or even like that person yet, so you know nothing about them. Would you seriously take the time to get to know a girl, let's say, if she was a plumber? A garbage woman? A stripper? No, I don't think you would. I don't think that's selfish.[/quote]

A stripper? no cause I dont consider that a job.. nothing that involves sexual stuff to me counts as a job.
A plumber? maybe.
A garbage woman? Depends on how they are outside of their job.
A job does not show you what a person is like. its a job.

@BladeSoul69 are you implying that @pinoymystic is a female plumber because she has a mustache like mario? or do you just randomly quote pinoymystic into random comments. Lol.

@haonthemage but would you take the time to get to know someone if you found out their career was something that's socially "not normal"? You don't love or even like that person yet, so you know nothing about them. Would you seriously take the time to get to know a girl, let's say, if she was a plumber? A garbage woman? A stripper? No, I don't think you would. I don't think that's selfish.

I'm asocial. Can't answer.

IMO if you "love/like" someone you should be supportive to what job/hobbys they like to do. If you don't date/marry someone cause the job they have (not meaning income just career wise) then thats very.. selfish =/

@LazyLazyLazy this thread wasn't supposed to be some debate about dating/not dating someone based on how much money they make... but rather dating/not dating someone based on what their job is and whether you care about certain social stigmas.

Ie - a female construction worker, a female plumber, a male hair stylist, a male makeup artist, etc.

So your "motherly instincts" are becoming active?

[quote=AllKorean]Why cant girls support the financial aid? Im not saying that the bad way[/quote]

I don't see how you answered my question at all.

Why cant girls support the financial aid? Im not saying that the bad way

@Sweden : Which is why I wrote this:

[quote=trashed]Based on what someone's career is (not part time McDonalds job as a teenager, but actual career choice)[/quote]

I wasn't talking about jobs you have as a teenager, but an actual career that someone has chosen by going to college/university for it.