General

It is not your problem that this person can't take a joke, is rude, and etc.. If you think her actions/characteristics aren't exemplementry, it wouldn't make sense for you to do the same.

When you respect someone you also look up to them. You are not obliged to respect anyone if you don't think they deserve it. You can pretend to respect someone if you have to, for the sake of your well-being. This is commonly in practice in school or work. That is not true respect. After all, true respect is earned, like you said.

Your duty is to not let her negativity affect you. Respect is another story. What you should be concerned with is politeness. Politeness isn't earned or deserved, so you don't have to worry as much about who to show it to and who not to show it to. It is impolite for her to be rude to you. But chances are, she's found what you've done to be rude and is being rude to you back because maybe she assumed that you were purposely being rude to her. Some ppl are sensitive and gets offended easily. So, if you want to maintain good relations with this person, then you should be more tactful.

As I've said, respect is another story. Your respect for an individual is based on your ideals. Fake respect is essentially tatemae (search that on Wikipedia or something).

Being tactful does not equate to showing respect. Showing respect can be a form of being tactful, though. Respect can be shown, whether if it's real or fake.

That's why you move to an asian country where discipline is everywhere. Respect is given not earned in this region.

respect means nothing when you got examples like Trump
He aint respected by many but hes in a better spot than most people

Respect isn't earned, it's a birthright.
filthy mortals

The Golden Rule (to do unto others as you would have them do unto you) is a popular adage that is upheld across many cultures and continents, and is so for a reason, especially in the case of that lady and you.

I'm with you on this one. Respect is earned. Being a moron and talking down to you when she doesn't know the situation is nonsense. Just continue to be rude to her, you can't please everyone.

I get that most people say that respect is supposed to be earned, but I tend to be respectful to a lot of the people around me and whether or not they act respectfully to me back barely concerns me.

I find myself happier that way. Distance yourself from those who don't like/respect you, and even if you have to put up with them, keep treating em the way you would like to be treated. From my experience doing so will eventually change their attitude about you.

@beefly: the woman was rude to me before i said anything rude to her or about her; thats why i acted how i did.

@tyrantblade: Just do what llamas do.

I do think respect should be earned, but that doesn't mean someone new does not deserve any. A default amount of respect to everyone is what keeps you from being a d*ck.

Or rather, it's good to give a lot of respect, but people can cause you to lose respect for them.

I dont tell people if they hve earned my respect or not; i just act nicer towards people that have been nice or even respectful towards me.

If they have been rude or disrespectful ; of course i will be rude or disrespectful back.

And she is far from my friend; i hate that woman and would rather bot have to be in the same room as her and her crazy friend.

I think if you go around being rude to people and telling them they haven't earned your respect you're gonna have a bad time.

Also if you're friends with this woman you should recognize what jokes she's comfortable with and what she's not.

Also if someone insults you for spitting into a garbage can, look them straight in the eye and say, in the most serious tone you can, "I have Bronchitis, swallowing my spit is like swallowing fire ants." Doesn't matter if that's true, but she'll feel bad for pointing it out.

Dunno I just think politeness should be the default, people shouldn't have to earn the right to be treated decently.