General

Ah, this topic reminds me of the game Catherine. It dealt a lot with the topics of infidelity, marriage, cheating and what not.

Yeah, I would feel hurt I suppose, as the trust I put in him/her would be broken right? And it's hard to rebuild such broken trust.

@Chema: Finally, a logical answer. Thank you.

[quote=AnasF]why?[/quote]
For few people it is because of religious rules
For many people it is disgusting
For most people it is solely because of STDs

You may say "oh, but condoms protect against them"
Well, my friend, I would hate to burst your bubble but the protection a condom provides is not 100%
Not to mention many STDs (herpes, Crabs & HPV; just to name a few) can be transmitted by 100% even with a condom

By having sex with someone who you wouldn't know where his/her junk has been, you are risking your life AND the life of your partner
Risking your life just for a moment of sexual pleasure means you don't love yourself at all.
If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else

Well indeed it is wrong to just have sex with someone else just because your partner is gone for a few days on a business trip or something, because you can easily just take care of those urges yourself or have a little self control. It would basically destroy the trust and love in your relationship, and it may possibly never repair itself and end in a divorce.

There are those rare relationships which are far more open however, and couples can have sexual relationships or "Friends with benefits" even if they are married or dating. For some couples (and I'm stressing the some) they have built enough trust in their relationship and love that they can freely let the other go and do as they please without having to worry about them falling in love with another. Having sex with another person is no longer considered unfaithful or trust-breaking, and, ironic as it sounds, the relationship builds more trust because they don't have to keep secrets from one another at least in the sexual part of the relationship.

That's the only reasoning I would ever accept when I hear that a husband had sex with another woman, or vise versa.

Yes because of this thing called insecurity. When your partner cheats on you, you feel as if they are betraying you and you aren't good enough for them, therefore you get hurt and think that there is something wrong with you that drove them away.

In my opinion it has a lot to do with "ownership". Let's say you have a girlfriend. You don't want other guys to get to "feel" her private part with their private part, because it belongs to you. Or more like you want yourself to be the only one who gets to "feel" it. A main reason I think this is because a lot of guys would react differently between finding out that their girlfriend cheated with a guy or finding out that their girlfriend cheated with a girl. LOL

Because it shows you are being unfaithful to them, and betraying their trust in you.

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hurt and angry.
when you love someone you're suppose to be committed to that person. they are the most important person to you. you two share an unbreakable bond.
if they cheat on you, it means they don't care about you and your feelings anymore. you aren't special to them anymore.
cheating is wrong cuz if you cheat on someone it is disrespecting the person that place their trust in you. you are knowingly hurting the person's heart.
if your feelings for someone has change and you feel u don't love them anymore. it is better to end the relationship then lead the person on and cheat on them. it will only hurt the other person more.

[quote=PurpleDitto]Did you really just ask that question? You're supposed to love your spouse. If you want to cheat then why get married?[/quote]

Pretty much this.
Why get married in the first place if you can't keep your promise?
Marriage is a big deal and shouldn't be like, "oh yeah, I can do whatever I want."
Religious or not, everyone who has been married has to take things seriously.
If you said you want to be with your spouse "'till death do you part." then do that.
I cannot stress enough how Marriage all over the world is not viewed. They think it's some label, when it's certainly not! It's amazing how two can live together hand in hand even through the roughest times. Why can't people see it as this way? I don't know! It's so sad, really.
And if the spouse doesn't want to be caught, DON'T DO IT. I don't get why people want to hide it when SOONER or later the spouse WILL find out.
Just like what happened to my dad and my mom.
Though, my mother, having had a forgiving heart and my father, having a change of heart, decided that they both love each other.

[quote=Phoenix2903]So because it's not a big deal to you, everyone else who disagrees is wrong?

I feel like you treat this as a black and white issue, like there's really no two options here. It's either "People shouldn't have a problem with this" or "Everyone should have a problem with this". You feel it's no big deal, but why should everyone else have to feel the same? You speak of monogamy as if it's completely ridiculous, and people have no right to fuss over it?

Why not?

I don't mean to throw your own question back at you like that. I typically avoid that, but I've never seen someone so perplexed by this issue. Why does it matter if people like to restrict their sexual activity to one person? As was said, you have every right to view a relationship in the loosest sense possible, but that hardly means others are weird or in the wrong for not feeling the same way.

To answer TS's question from my perspective, people get upset because they feel [b]betrayed[/b], [b]stale[/b], [b]lacking[/b], and even [b]unwanted[/b]. Marriage doesn't even really have to be in the picture you painted for this to be true. Relationships, in general, have some level of exclusivity... sexually, that is. The norm, [b]which I'm not AT ALL saying you have to follow[/b], is that you don't cheat. I can see people incorporating their religious beliefs in here, and this is why I'm only sticking with the feelings associated with cheating. Think of all the psychological dangers that come with cheating, namely for the one who remains faithful. Depression, self-esteem issues which, depending on the circumstances, could lead to eating disorders. How about suicide? Extreme? Sure it is, but it happens.

The idea that it's "unnatural" for humans to remain sexually active with only one partner is another issue. [b]While it's true that humans can have and maintain multiple sexual partners, it's not something you can validate as the new standard by the argument that it's "natural".[/b] Take some time to think over everything humans do, and make a list of everything "natural" and everything "unnatural".

I've had discussions with people over what should be allowed in society, and I've heard some pretty interesting arguments. [b]For example, following the natural approach, one person argued that murder was fine because it's natural.[/b]

How do you feel about it?

Your view on sexual partners is clearly not something that's going to land you in jail (depending on the state), unless you find a way to cook up some crazy circumstances. I'm not trying to compare the two issues directly. Murder and infidelity are VERY different.

Basically, following the "natural" argument, we'd pretty much have to rewrite how everything in society works. That's not to say sexual fidelity is the father issue of all social issues. I'm NOT saying that; however, a good portion of society is dictated by law, so unless you're an anarchist, I'm not sure what you're suggesting we do.

My point: It's unreasonable to criticize monogamy for being unnatural, when you don't take in to account every other unnatural activity humans partake in. The argument isn't really solid until you launch an assault on everything we [b]do[/b] as humans that's [b]unnatural[/b].[/quote]

ty for sharing that ^_^ i love my wife and am very faithful to her as she is to me, your whole speech was mind blowing, but in essence it is very true, if you are the kind of person who believes cheating on your own spouse is very wrong, and having someone else in your family who does it(not saying my family does, but i myself think it is very wrong) then that is the way we feel about it, now if you're the kind of person who has nothing against 'open marriages/relationships' like some of the people, or should i say kids, then that's your deal, but please don't make fun of others or bash on them just because you want to get diseases from tramps(both men and women)

Hurt, angry, [b]betrayed![/b]
A relationship is built on trust (imo). When trust is gone, it's really hard to be with that person, because you don't know if they're gonna hurt you again or not.

My ex never cheated on me, but she did lie to me about something not worth lying about and then messing with my head about it and trying to make me feel guilty, eventually I stopped trusting her and ignored her for a week and a half till I finally broke up with her.

Husband 3 months ago: Hun, I love you let's have ___,
Wife:You do ? Great lets have ____
3 months after...

Because if they do, it shows the other person that they might love them, but can't stay with them forever. If it wasn't a drunk mistake, this could lead to a routine meaning that the partner can't commit themselves solely the other. Even at a drunk mistake it shows the partner that you aren't mature enough to commit to them, or just not love them enough.

Again this is in the eye of the partner, not the world.

If you're going to love and have sex with other people, then why bother entering into an official commitment to one person a.ka marriage?

Well it just ruins the trust in the relationship. And open relationships always spout jealousy around so I would never have one.

well sex is sort of a special thing to me
it shows that he doesn't want to share that special thing with only me, and that hurts a little.

why is this revived? Its nothing wrong really. Its like marrying somebody who was in a relationship with 10 other guys. It's quite normal nowadays

So basically, you're all arguing that sex = love?
Even though most relationships where "cheating" occurs, the relationships are just flimsy get togethers composed of nothing but booty calls between idiotic teenagers?

Betrayal of love.
As a couple, you're supposed to be faithful. Polygamous relationships are strongly discouraged and illegal (as far as I know).

I don't mind small flirts. But cheating... as in, kissing and sex, that's way over the line there.

If you want to pimp around and get laid with different women every time you have sexual urges and your partner is unavailable to screw with, [B]I strongly recommend to you not get married.[/B] Or not to engage in any serious relationships. Or just become single and have sex with people and find friends with benefits or something.

@Nina: We're on the same boat =P

lol. just lol. someone clearly hasn't been in a relationship before.

[quote=canihazclaw]Basil probs its the best place to ask. Half of basil would "boom boom pow" with a dead body -.- And the other 45% is all total geeks. This 5% is like me, are people who have girlfriends and lives and play sports and live like a normal person. Plus that 5% prob won't help you with these problems. lol[/quote]

What have you done to the English language? Stop before you slaughter it anymore.

i unno man
if i had a wife then screw her
she cheats on me and tries to take
my stuff
i aint giving it cause she cheat on me
and wants my tv=nooooo
she doesnt deserve it
especially if i bought it with my own money
she can have whatever is her
or i let her cheat on me and kick her out
(though that isnt allowed)i ma do anyways
or my third option my brain tells
is make a big scene about it and bring publicity
and agony on her and if that doesnt work
live with a cheating wife besides i always have
another room to sleep by myself in
and i could cook for a big group of people so might as well
and if i get publicity, then i dont give a damn i take pride
in myself, everyone else is a terrible and useless people

Edit:sure its a cruel thing to say but thats my mind

[quote=oreeeeeeo]Because in kindergarten, my teacher said it was wrong to cheat. But i still do it in spanish class anyway [/quote]

You are such a sneak. [i]Very[/i] immoral. UGH.
I did... at Math.

Dono man, guess it's cause yaknow matrimony, and sacred bond and all that.

Depending on the type of relationship I was in this that certain person, I either would or would not care if they did.

adultery is still a crime in some states, I believe it should be in all. Adultery is more than just cheating and more than just a physical act, it is spiritual. It is not two bodies lying together it is two spirits coming together in the most intimate way two human beings can encounter one another. After they break their vows you cannot trust them again.
edit: I am married and trust my hubby completely and he trusts me.

[quote=Danistehgreat]Sex is just a physical action. I see no reason it needs to be linked to love or emotion in any way. Humans weren't meant for monogamy, we're genetically wired to sow our wild oats, as it were. I don't know why people make such a big deal out of it, it isn't a big deal.[/quote]

If you see no reason sex should be connect to love or emotion, would that mean if your wife or mother(or anybody as a personal level) were to go around having sex with everybody, you wouldn't mind?

[quote=Danistehgreat]Sex is just a physical action. I see no reason it needs to be linked to love or emotion in any way. Humans weren't meant for monogamy, we're genetically wired to sow our wild oats, as it were. I don't know why people make such a big deal out of it, it isn't a big deal.[/quote]

It's perfectly fine to feel this way and it's not a problem. Just need to make sure your partner feels the same

Well, you have the feeling that somehow, your husband/wife belongs to you. You then are jealous of anyone else who tries to'[b][/b]do it[i][/i]'

[quote=YourPirateGuy]headdesk meme, omg ban

OT: Religion?[/quote]

It's not a meme as far as I know.
And yeah, many religions also condemn adultery.

Because my marriage vows were meant in "being faithful to just me and him". It's a MAJOR break of trust. Without that trust, the vows and marriage are bound to fail. If a couple wants to have an open marriage, then go for it, it's not cheating. But if both parties go into it with monogamous intentions, then the cheater is an ass. Having self control is important. Such reckless impulsiveness is selfish and a horrid thing to do.

My dad had an affair and it completely destroyed my family

[quote=Pavchka]

@above reactions: My head just went through my desk, kinda.[/quote]

headdesk meme, omg ban

OT: Religion?

Cause people directly link sex to love.
I have experience with neither, so I can't say. Nevertheless, if one of the parties is hurt by cheating I will have to sympathise more with the party that has been hurt. That's just in my nature.

@above reactions: My head just went through my desk, kinda.

In that case....damn.

Wait. I have a husband [b]and[/b] a wife?