General

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a bridge?

"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Here are some math jokes.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?
Nothing. You cant cross a vector with a scalar.

What do you call a young eigensheep?
A lamb,duh!

What does the "B." in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

See, just citing stuff that sounds intelligent doesn't make it "smart."

what is 2+2?: fish hahaha

i'd tell you one, but you wouldn't get it.

Dat asymptote, you can look all you want but you can't touch

[quote=CSWalker]You're walking down a street and see a guy standing atop of a 100story building. He is in "mass depression" and is threatening to die by jumping off the building. How can you stop him from jumping?
Well, it looks like the angle from the top of the building to the floor looks like a 45 degrees. So let's take tan(45) equals-Oh. Shoot. He jumped. Yep, he's dead. Should have called the police or persuaded him to not jump.[/quote]

Let me revise this piece of ass for you:

An engineer, physicist, and a mathematician are strolling down the street together, when they hear the cries of a man about to jump from the top of a tall building. After thinking about how to rescue him, the engineer shouts, "It's the fault of whoever made this building that suicide nets weren't applied!", the physicist says, "If it gets any windier, the frictional drag of the air pressure will retard his fall." Having been deep in thought, the mathematician at last lifts his head and goes, "Hah! If we integrate his position from the top of the building to the street, he will ride smoothly over the area of the curve!"

knock knock

http://33.media.tumblr.com/1bcf58bbe627e60bd118ae88ab3a308c/tumblr_inline_mhxhn7voGB1qz4rgp.jpg
Shakespeare knew some pretty sick burns.

Now I don't know what a smart joke is.